|Season 3, episode 17|
|Air date||February 9, 1990|
|Previous||Bye, Bye Birdie|
As D.J. and Stephanie sleep in their room, D.J.'s alarm clock goes off at 3:47 a.m. She excitedly proclaims as 13 years ago, she was born a minute later at 3:48 a.m., which she excitedly counts down to. This provides little comfort to Stephanie, who, in addition to her usual "Well, pin a rose on your nose", says that she liked her as a kid and that D.J. has an excellent memory. D.J., in addition to not inviting Stephanie to her upcoming birthday party, says that those days are long gone, and Stephanie has to accept the reality that she is now sharing a room with an older sister who is a sophisticated and mature young woman. (See Quotes.)
A lot of friends are coming to D.J.'s 13th birthday party, including Kevin Gwynn, a boy she likes. Kimmy tries to get D.J. and Kevin to dance with each other, but they are too nervous, so Kimmy, Kathy Santoni, and the rest of D.J.'s friends try to get D.J. and Kevin to kiss by setting them up during a game of "spin the bottle."
Meanwhile, during the party, the uninvited Stephanie sends Michelle out to the living room with a Polaroid camera to take a picture of the events going on, which surprises D.J. She is visibly upset about this, but Stephanie assures her that the only thing they got a picture of was the living room ceiling. Then, the guys go out and say hello to Kevin, as do Stephanie and Michelle, and then D.J. escorts them all out, but Stephanie manages to get past the kitchen door and back into the party, and say hello to Kevin again. When that's said and done, D.J. is shocked that Stephanie read her diary about him...and even saw the key to it taped under D.J.'s bed, and is even more shocked that she would unlock the diary, let alone find it under the sock drawer! She angrily tells her, "For the last time, get out and stay out!", to which Stephanie can only say, "How...", and D.J. completes it, "...rude! Bye!", and escorts her uninvited guest out.
Upstairs in her room, Michelle is having her own fun with her singing and dancing with a huge plush Bugs Bunny doll, as Jesse watches his "Little Munchkin". He remarks, "Now this is a party. You got singing, dancing, and cwazy wabbits ("crazy rabbits" in Elmer Fudd's voice)." Just then, Comet enters the room, and Jesse tries the usual "sit" command on the pup, but it fails, leaving Michelle to do it herself, which she succeeds in doing and thus, awards him a cookie, which he eats.
Back at the party, after a spin, just as D.J. and Kevin are about to kiss, Danny, Jesse, and Joey—who overheard the whole situation via the fireplace in Danny's bedroom—get a little too overprotective and try to prevent it from happening in a most embarrassing way (after Rebecca told them that they were not allowed to barge in there like a SWAT team, and decided to take Jesse's advice of stopping and thinking up some legitimate excuses beforehand). D.J. becomes furious and feels humiliated by what the guys did and she feels that they have ruined her 13th birthday by humiliating her in front of her friends, so she storms off to her and Stephanie's room in tears. And despite Danny's "agreement" of her friends partying as long as they are behaving, she is not fooled, and is even more shocked that they would try to do something silly in front of her guests such as showing the video of her first bath or any embarrassing baby photos of her.
Becky then comes downstairs as Danny can only say, "She hates me." However, Becky assures Danny that D.J. doesn't hate him, and also tells the guys that they have to realize that D.J. has become a teenager (not to mention a "young woman"), and that it is a confusing time in her life. The guys remember that they themselves played "spin the bottle" when they were D.J.'s age. After Becky talks to a still teary-eyed D.J. in her and Stephanie's room about the situation as well as her own experience of "spin the bottle" and kissing (accompanied by inspirational music), the guys apologize to D.J. for overreacting, and D.J. apologizes for being angry at them. The guys agree to relax a little, and try not to humiliate her like that anymore.
She returns to the party, which ends with Kimmy's apology, and Jake Bitterman, the guy that Kimmy was made to kiss during "spin the bottle", walks her home. Kevin returns to bring D.J. her card, and she nervously says, in her own giggly way, that Kimmy thinks they are the perfect couple. Nervously chuckling back, Kevin replies that Kimmy can't be wrong about everything.
D.J. walks Kevin out to where his bike is, and they say goodnight. Then, they kiss, after which Kevin tells D.J. that he will see her in Algebra class the following Monday, and she says that she will see him, too. After Kevin pedals away, D.J. screams, "YES!" and stares after Kevin (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
[In the opening teaser, D.J.'s alarm clock goes off near her bed, and it awakens her and Stephanie. D.J. hits the snooze button...]
Stephanie: [groggily] What time is it?
D.J.: It's 3:47. [She turns her lamp on and gets up out of her bed.] I was born exactly on this day 13 years ago at 3:48.
Stephanie: [gets up] You have an excellent memory.
D.J.: [She looks at her watch, and counts down to said time.] 4, 3, 2, 1. YES! [pumps her fist in excitement as she looks in the mirror] I am now officially a teenager.
Stephanie: Well, pin a rose on your nose.
D.J.: Well, I have to rest up for my party tonight. Oh, and don't forget, you're not invited.
Stephanie: I liked you better when you were a kid.
D.J.: Well, those days are over, because you're now sharing a room with a sophisticated, mature young woman. [Stephanie covers herself up as her older sister hops back into bed and turns her lamp off. All is quiet now, when suddenly, she kicks and screams:] I'M THIRTEEEEEN!
Kimmy: Which one of you wants to spin the bottle first?
Jesse, Joey & Danny: [overhear it from the fireplace in Danny's bedroom] Spin The Bottle?! [they bump their heads]
Becky: Serves you right.
[In her room, a rejected and dejected D.J. sits on her bed, crying and cuddling her Pillow Person, when there's a knock at the door.]
D.J.: [tearfully] I don't wanna talk about it.
Becky: D.J., it's Becky.
D.J.: What is it?
Becky: [sarcastically] Can I borrow 5 bucks?
D.J.: [as she gets up and walks to the door] WHAT?! I'm this upset, and all you wanna do is borrow money?
[She opens the door, and indeed, it's Becky.]
Becky: No, but I got you to open the door. [She comes in.] You wanna talk?
D.J.: There's nothing to talk about. Dad, Joey, and Uncle Jesse came barging into my party just when Kevin and I were about to...never mind. [She sits on the toy chest near Stephanie's bed.]
Becky: Deej, whatever you say is just between you and me. You know that, don't you?
Becky: [as she walks over and sits down on Stephanie's bed next to D.J.] What happened?
D.J.: [tearfully] Becky, we were playing "Spin the Bottle", and they set it up so that Kevin and I were gonna kiss. And I really like him. And I kinda wanted to. But I didn't want to, you know? 'Cause everyone was watching, and I've never kissed anyone before.
Becky: D.J., you should never do something just because people want you to do it. A kiss is a very special and very personal thing. Especially your first kiss.
D.J.: I was a little scared.
Becky: Everybody's scared about their first kiss.
D.J.: Kimmy wasn't.
Becky: Never go by Kimmy. When I was scared about my first kiss, it was at a school picnic. [She gets up.] Jimmy Stone and I just won a 3-legged race, and then we went for a walk down by the pond, which wasn't easy because we were still tied together. And we both went to untie the knot, and we bumped heads. And we started laughing so hard that we fell over. And then, he kissed me. I'll never forget that.
D.J.: I hope mine's that nice.
Becky: [She walks over and kneels down to the party girl.] It will be. Just wait for the right time and the right guy.
D.J.: How will I know?
Becky: You listen to your heart.
D.J.: Thanks. It’s really hard to talk to the guys and my dad about this kind of stuff.
Becky: Well, I’m always here for you. But don't forget, no matter what your problem is, your dad, and Uncle Jesse, and Joey are always on your side, 'cause I love you very much. Now, get back to your party.
D.J.: Why couldn't I just do that to Kevin?
- The fourth of six episodes (and the second consecutive) to use the extended theme song
- The second episode where the teaser is attached to the episode itself
- The episode title is a take on the 1958 song "16 Candles" by The Crests, and the 1984 film named for it
- Two songs that play during the party are the original recording of "My Prerogative" (Bobby Brown) and an instrumental version of "Crazy for You" (Madonna)
- Candace Cameron has said that this was not only her character's first kiss, but her first kiss as well, and right before its filming, she asked co-star Lori Loughlin if she should have her eyes open or closed – Lori said, "closed"
- Jesse's "You'll have fun, fun, fun, til Daddy takes the ketchup bottle away" is a reference to the Beach Boys song "Fun, Fun, Fun ('Til Her Daddy Takes the T-Bird Away)"
- D.J.'s baby photos, and her first bath (video here, photo in the latter) would be referenced in "Crushed" (season 5)