| A Very Tanner Christmas | |
| Season 6, episode 12 | |
 | |
| Air date | December 15, 1992 |
| Writer(s) | Jay Abramowitz |
| Director | Joel Zwick |
| Previous | Designing Mothers |
| Next | The Dating Game |
A Very Tanner Christmas is episode twelve of season six on Full House. It originally aired on December 15, 1992.
In the living room, Jesse is busy hanging up the family's stockings on the mantle, including the twins'. However, as soon as he hangs the last one up for "Santa's little helper", Michelle, she shows him one that she made with a big red plastic gift bag bearing a big gold "M". Jesse, however, thinks her usual stocking is just fine. This leads Michelle to explain her homemade stocking by saying "What can I say? I've been very good this year."
Synopsis
At Christmastime, Rebecca tells Jesse that she misses the times when it snowed during the holidays every year in Nebraska when she was a kid, so he cheers her up, or at least tries to, by spraying some "snow" and "ice" on the window of the back door so she can get that feeling of a white Christmas. Steve tells D.J. that he has been accepted to Daytona Beach University in Florida. She is not as excited about it as he is, because Florida is about 3,000 miles away. While he says they can still call and write to each other, except during holidays (like Christmas), it isn't exactly the same, and provides no comfort to her. Meanwhile, Michelle and Stephanie are obsessed with receiving gifts for Christmas, as well as the consumerism and commercialization of the holiday season; so much so, Jesse feels they may have forgotten what Christmas is really all about.
On Christmas Day, Danny is depressed that he can't see Vicky because she is covering elections in Sweden. Steve comes over so that he and D.J. can exchange gifts. D.J.'s gift to Steve is an expensive jacket that he has had his eyes on, and Steve gives D.J. a Daytona Beach University sweatshirt. D.J., who feels that his gift to her is insult to injury, runs to her room. Steve goes upstairs, where D.J. lets him know how she feels about him going to college so far away, and he accuses her of buying the jacket for him in an attempt to bribe him into staying in San Francisco. He walks out, turning her green Christmas into a blue Christmas thus far.
After they have received their presents, and in order to cure Michelle's and Stephanie's gift preoccupation (or so he thinks), Jesse takes them to a shelter for the homeless, where they help out and discover that there is also joy in giving at Christmas, because as an old proverb (appropriately) suggests, "'Tis better to give than to receive". Stephanie apologizes for her and Michelle going crazy over presents, and Jesse tells them that he was once that way as a kid until his dad took him down to the Salvation Army. He tells Michelle and Stephanie that he never forgot that feeling of helping others, and he never wants them to forget that feeling either.
All D.J. can talk about during the Christmas party at home is Steve. Danny soon figures out that D.J. really bought that jacket for Steve because she tried to bribe him to stay and talks to her. Santa Claus shows up at the party; then a second Santa shows up and lays a kiss on Danny, because the second Santa is Vicky in disguise. She was able to make it to the party after all.
Joey, disguised as Santa, enters the room. Seeing that Santa #1 is not Joey, D.J. removes Santa #1's beard, and sees that Santa #1 is Steve in disguise, leaving Joey as Santa #3. Steve apologizes to D.J., and admits that he was so pumped up about going to college that he didn't stop to think about how it would make D.J. feel if he went to a college so far away. D.J. also apologizes to Steve for being selfish and not really thinking about his opinions. However, Steve decides to stay in San Francisco for junior college instead of going to Florida, so as to improve his grades.
Jesse has a surprise for his wife in the backyard: he made a blanket of snow covering the yard, complete with a snowman. It turns out that Jesse has a friend who makes snow cones, and Jesse had him bring over enough to fill 17,000 cones and spread it around the backyard. Everyone else joins in the festivities by having a snowball fight (as a vocal version of "Winter Wonderland" plays in the background, and the EP credits appear, followed by a special holiday ending).
Special holiday ending
The last scene freezes to reveal the message "Full House Wishes You A Joyous Holiday Season", made to resemble a Christmas card.
Quotes
[In the living room, where Jesse is busy hanging up the family's stockings on the mantle.]
Jesse: OK, we got Nicky, Alex, D.J., Stephanie, and Santa's favorite little helper, Michelle.
Michelle: Jesse, I got a problem.
Jesse: Lay it on me, babe.
Michelle: [referring to her stocking] I don't know about that stocking.
Jesse: What's the matter with this stocking? It's a beautiful stocking. Look at it, it says "Michelle", it's a great stocking.
Michelle: It's OK, but this would be better.
[She pulls out a homemade stocking that consists of a big red plastic gift bag bearing a big gold "M" on it, which Jesse takes and looks at.]
Jesse: Whose stocking is this, Bigfoot's?
Michelle: What can I say, I've been very good this year!
[He runs over, tickles her, and gives her a big kiss on the cheek.]
[All the presents have been opened.]
Michelle: That's it? No more presents?
Stephanie: Didn't a certain uncle promise us a perfect gift?
Stephanie and Michelle: Hmmm?
Jesse: Yes, he did.
Stephanie and Michelle: Yay!
Jesse: But it's not here...
[Stephanie and Michelle groan.]
Jesse: ...because it's too big.
Stephanie and Michelle: Yay!
Michelle: If it's an elephant, I'll call him Phil.
Danny: Sweetheart, if it's an elephant, it'll sleep in Joey's room. No, Uncle Jesse has something planned to show you the real meaning of Christmas.
Stephanie: All right! We're going to Toys R Us!
Jesse: Wrong R U. (Wrong are you.)
Michelle: We won't miss the Christmas party, will we?
Joey: Oh, you'll be back in plenty of time to see me play Santa. I think I'm going to try a new "Ho, ho, ho" this year. How about Jerry Lewis? "Ho, ho, ho, lady! Fly-man!"
[Nobody laughs apart from Nicky and Alex.]
Stephanie: Uncle Jesse took us down to the shelter for homeless people.
Danny: I know. What'd you think?
Stephanie: There were so many people there. Not just grown-ups. Kids, too.
Michelle: When I saw them, it made me feel sad.
Jesse: It's okay to feel sad, Michelle. Those people are in a lot of trouble.
Stephanie: I’m sorry we went so present-crazy.
Jesse: Ah, it’s okay. I remember when I was your age. I bugged my dad for an Evel Knievel jumpsuit.
Stephanie: Why?
Jesse: Oh, because I already had the helmet. Anyway, he took me down to the Salvation Army, and I’ll tell you something: it made me feel so good to see you guys’ faces today, because that’s exactly how I felt. And I never forgot that feeling. And I never want you guys to forget that feeling, OK? Merry Christmas, girls.
Michelle: Thanks for our Christmas present, Uncle Jesse.
Trivia
- The episode title is a play on A Very Brady Christmas, a very popular 1988 Brady Bunch TV movie
- The third episode to have the teaser tied to the main plot itself (the first two were "13 Candles" in season three, and then "Greek Week", the season four premiere)
- The second of three Christmas episodes
- Songs:
- As the episode opens: The first few notes of "Jingle Bells" (instrumental, then sung by Jesse as he sprays "ice" and "snow" on the back door to make it more "Christmasy" and "wintery")
- "Christmas Day": The first few notes of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" (instrumental), as the family opens their gifts; "Deck the Halls", as Joey takes the twins on a "sleigh ride" and then instrumental as D.J. talks with the wrestling team; "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" (instrumental), during the Christmas party; "The First Noel" (instrumental), as Santas #1 (Steve) and #2 (Vicky) arrive; "O Christmas Tree" (instrumental), as Santa #3 (Joey) arrives; "Winter Wonderland" (vocal, but not by the cast), as Jesse shows Becky her gift of a snowman, and "Jingle Bells" (instrumental) again as the greeting text appears