|Be True to Your Preschool|
|Season 6, episode 15|
|Air date||January 26, 1993|
|Next||The Heartbreak Kid|
As D.J. prepares for what appears to be a date with Steve, she realizes that she forgot her jacket upstairs in her room, so she goes back to get it. When she gets inside, she sees Michelle sitting on her bed, reading her diary. She snatches it out of Michelle's hand, telling her that she should not be looking at it, let alone reading it. While Michelle admits that she does not know how to read, D.J. tells her to stay out of her stuff anyway, per "rule #1". What neither of them knows is that Stephanie is lurking in D.J.'s closet. As soon as the coast is clear and D.J. is completely out of the room with her jacket in tow, Stephanie exits the closet, and joins Michelle as they continue to read the diary.
After talking to the parents of Nicky and Alex's friend Cooper Charles, Jesse wants to get the boys on the "fast track" in their education by having them attend Bouton Hall, the prestigious upper crust preschool that Cooper goes to. Reflecting on his own questionable years as a student, Jesse will do absolutely anything to make that happen, even falsifying information on the application form in order to get Bouton Hall to accept Nicky and Alex.
Jesse and Becky later come to the conclusion that even though they want their sons to be in the best preschool they can find, Nicky and Alex would be under too much pressure to succeed if they went to Bouton Hall with Cooper.
Meanwhile, Kimmy Gibbler gets her driver's license, and Danny is astonished to learn that Kimmy is an excellent driver. He allows D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle to go out for a ride with her in her older brother Garth's car. While they're out, Kimmy spots the school's chess club and suggests gloating to them about the car. However, the boys have the last laugh when the girls accidentally end up locked out of the car, and have to walk a very long couple of miles home.
[In the teaser, we see D.J. going back upstairs to her room to get her jacket, but what she finds next when she gets inside will shock her.]
D.J.: I'll be right there. I forgot my jacket. [She rushes upstairs to her room and finds Michelle reading her diary.] Michelle, that's my diary. [She snatches it out of Michelle's hand.] You shouldn't be looking at this.
Michelle: Don't worry. I don't know how to read anyways.
D.J.: Oh, right. Well, just stay out of my stuff anyway, OK?
[D.J. hides the diary under the covers, grabs her jacket, and exits the room. Suddenly, the closet door opens...]
Stephanie: Whew! That was close. [She exits the closet, locates D.J.'s diary under the covers, and pulls it out.] Now, where were we?
Michelle: May 7th, D.J. got a zit.
Stephanie: Oh, right. [She opens it up.] "I tried to make it look like a beauty mark, but nobody was fooled." [Both giggle.]
Jesse: Cooper talks good.
Cooper: Cooper talks well.
Joey [to Jesse] Wow, Bouton Hall, I couldn't get in there and I was 14.
Jesse: It doesn't look like Nicky and Alex will get in there either.
Jesse [while working on the twins' preschool application] Well, they have good verbal skills. I mean, they do talk all the time. It's just not always in English.
Joey: Perfect. Put down that they're bilingual.
Jesse: They're not bilingual!
Joey: Sure they are! They speak two languages: English and gibberish.
Rebecca [while reading the twins' preschool application] "Identify the geometric shape which is most familiar to your offspring." I don't know the answer.
Jesse: I don't know the question.
- The episode title is a play on "Be True to Your School", a 1963 Beach Boys top 10 hit – which they performed in "Our Very First Telethon" (season 3)
- In the teaser, it is revealed that D.J. got a zit on May 7; however, the only zit ever mentioned in the series was in "Aftershocks" (season 3), when she plays Mrs. Claus for her school's Christmas play, and mentions there were 10 other girls who had zits like her
- It is learned that the car's name is "Wild Thing", which is the song the girls sing as they are joyriding, a 1965 hit by The Troggs (#1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart)