|Season 8, episode 12|
|Air date||January 3, 1995|
|Previous||Arrest Ye Merry Gentlemen|
Viper breaks up with D.J., and Nelson Burkhard is there to console her. Later, Viper shows up and says that breaking up with her was a mistake, and he now wants D.J. back. Nelson jumps in on the situation, and he and Viper compete for D.J., who decides that she does not want to be with either one of them.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Tanner household pitch in to help clean up a vandalized community playground, resulting in a sticky situation for Joey.
Singer Frankie Valli appears as himself.
Jesse: This hammer is very special to me. My great-grandfather used it to build his house in Greece. He then passed it down to my grandfather, who then passed it down to my father, who told me to, "Never let you touch it!". I love this hammer.
Joey: Okay. Maybe I can use the power saw. Unless you have some bizarre family attachment to it.
[Danny gets ready to test the teeter-totter, with Stephanie on one side, and Kimmy on the other]
Danny: Okay, let's try her out.
[Kimmy goes down while Stephanie goes up; Stephanie tries to go down but to no avail]
Stephanie: Uh, dad, great teeter, but I'm not seeing much totter.
Danny: Okay. [he pushes down on it, to no avail] Kimmy, did you gain weight?
Kimmy: Yeah, I'm up to 260 now.
Danny: Must've over-heightened it.
Becky: Let's all push together.
Danny: Alright, on three. Three!
[He, Becky, and D.J. all push down hard, sending a screaming Kimmy flying into the trees with a loud crash]
Becky: Excellent dismount! She really nailed that landing.
[Kimmy, still in the trees, spits some leaves out of her mouth]
- The episode title is a take on the 1982 film Sophie's Choice, starring Meryl Streep, who won an Academy Award for her performance
- The last appearance of Viper
- Goof: The Tanner's address is stated several times as being 1882 Gerard St., but as Nelson and D.J. arrive at the front door, the house number is (mistakenly) shown as "1892"