|Five's a Crowd|
|Season 5, episode 23|
|Air date||March 31, 1992|
|Previous||The Trouble with Danny|
|Next||Girls Will Be Boys|
Five's a Crowd is episode twenty-three in season five of Full House. It originally aired on March 31, 1992.
Michelle helps Jesse move some plants into the living room. He tells her that the trick to keeping the plants healthy is to use a spray bottle and give two squirts to each plant. She counts them out loud, with the first round of squirts, but as soon as the second squirt hits Jesse, he decides to have a little fun with her and they have a squirt bottle fight, similar to gunfights in the Old West.
Jesse's recording studio is used by "The Funky Tongues," the hottest band in D.J.'s school. Jesse, Becky, Danny, Joey then start preparing to go to a local awards ceremony where Wake Up, San Francisco and Ranger Joe have been nominated for awards. Danny is bothered by the fact that Wake Up, San Francisco gets beat every year by Up and At 'em, Oakland.
D.J. has a date, and Aunt Ida is not around to babysit the twins, so Becky and Jesse ask Kimmy Gibbler to baby-sit Stephanie, Michelle, Nicky, and Alex. The two younger girls contest this, as Stephanie says she won't have a date for another five years, and that she knows how to baby-sit. However, Becky suggests otherwise, saying that while she appreciates the offer, Stephanie's too young as of right now. Michelle says that she can do it because she is older than the twins, but Stephanie notes that she is much younger than her. And both also do not like the idea of being called "Squirt" or "Squirt Jr.". D.J. is A-OK with this decision, as is everyone else. When Kimmy suggests that she will not babysit dogs, Michelle decides to babysit Comet, and even demonstrates how she does it. Later, she tries one of the doggy treats that she rewards Comet, noting they look like a cookie and smell like a pork chop. However, she forgets the mishap from "The Volunteer"; they taste awful, so she obviously spits it out.
During this time, Kimmy is too lazy and negligent when it comes to taking care of the twins, so Stephanie is forced to feed them and change their diapers. D.J.'s date shows up, and it is Pete, the lead singer of The Funky Tongues. Pete takes D.J. to a drive-in movie. Danny flips out when Jesse tells him that Pete is exactly like Jesse was at his age – in a band just to score with girls. Danny becomes even more frantic when Kimmy tells him that Pete has never heard the word "no".
Danny, Jesse, and Joey send Becky to the awards ceremony with Joey's puppet, Mr. Woodchuck (who's also dressed in a tux), and then the guys go to the drive-in and intrude on D.J.'s date as if they were a SWAT team, absolutely humiliating D.J., who had already told Pete no.
The guys take D.J. home, where a furious D.J. blasts the guys by accusing them of overreacting and not trusting her judgment. The guys apologize for overreacting, and D.J. apologizes for neglecting to tell them she was going to a drive-in movie instead of a regular indoor theater. D.J. admits that she neglected to tell them because she knew that they would overreact and humiliate her, and that was the last thing she wanted. The guys do not want to stop her from dating, so they promise that they will not act like a bunch of commandos whenever she goes out on a date.
At the awards ceremony, Joey wins an award for best children's programming for the Ranger Joe Show. And Wake Up, San Francisco gets beat yet again.
In addition, because Stephanie took care of the twins, Kimmy pays her, and Becky pays Kimmy; however, she makes her give up all her money to Stephanie.
Danny: How about, uh… ‘What an incredible surprise. I only wish I would’ve prepared a speech’?
Becky: [smiles a little] Danny, give it up—we’re never gonna win. Every year, Wake Up, San Francisco gets beaten by Up and at ‘em, Oakland.
Danny: I don’t know what people see in that show.
Becky: Cheerleaders wrestling in a syrup pit?
Danny: Jesse, about that kid Pete that you worked with today—what do you think of him?
Jesse: He’s a good kid.
Danny: That’s a relief. D.J. just went out with him.
Jesse: What? You let her go out with that animal?
Danny: You just said he was a pretty good kid.
Jesse: He’s in a band. All he thinks about is girls. He’s exactly like I was at seventeen.
Danny: Deej, we need to talk. You can’t keep giving us the silent treatment.
D.J.: OK, fine, let’s talk. I am totally humiliated! When this gets around school, I’ll never be asked out again! But that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? [storms upstairs]
Jesse: I think we were doing better with the silent treatment.