|Girls Just Wanna Have Fun|
|Season 4, episode 24|
|Air date||April 1, 1991|
|Writer(s)||Dennis Rinsler & Marc Warren|
|Previous||Joey Goes Hollywood|
In the new office in the basement, Jesse entertains Michelle with his musical instruments, from the drums to the piano. But when she asks him to play the saxophone, it sounds scratchy, and it's enough to scare her out of the studio with her ears covered as she tells him, "You need music lessons."
Now that Becky is officially a member of the family, D.J. thinks it is like having a big sister to pal around with, in addition to having a motherly figure to talk about anything from guys to dating. D.J. wants to meet a boy named Ryan at a house where Kimmy Gibbler will be babysitting Aaron Bailey, but Danny, who wants D.J. to stay home to do her homework, will not let her go there, despite saying that she will be doing her homework and studying over there. D.J. decides to go anyway, so she asks Becky to cover for her, promising her that she will be back in 10 minutes. But 10 minutes turns out to be 30 minutes, and Becky can no longer find a way to cover for D.J.
Meanwhile, Jesse and Joey put a pool table in their office. Jesse, calling himself "The Kid," thinks that he can't be beaten in the game of pool until he learns the hard way that Danny is a pool shark, even going so far as to sink five balls in one shot. Jesse then thinks that Danny can't beat him at darts. While he hits 20 points, Danny bests him by hitting a bullseye. Then, to show how low he will go as to not accept losing, Jesse bets Danny that he can't spin around in a chair the most times in 10 seconds, but Danny is not having it.
While all this is going on, Michelle's new game is fooling people by telling them that something happened when it really did not. Stephanie puts a stop to that little game, and she ends up teaching Michelle a lesson about telling the truth with a twist on a classic story (see Trivia) and by turning the tables on Michelle when they get ready to eat some rocky road ice cream.
As this is going on, Danny comes up from the basement and Becky comes downstairs. Michelle sees D.J. walking outside (hunched over, trying not to be seen, but Danny sees her). D.J. is busted and is shocked that Becky would squeal on her. Even Stephanie knows what she has been up to (see Quotes). Danny sends D.J. upstairs, and she scoffs to Becky: "I thought you were my friend!" And even though Danny was already planning to talk to her, Becky asks to talk to her first.
Upstairs, D.J. angrily takes off her shoes and sits on her bed, when suddenly there is a knock on the door. It's obviously Becky, and after being granted entrance and sitting alongside D.J. on the bed, she says that D.J. promised to come home in 10 minutes and broke that promise, but D.J. says that Becky promised she wouldn't tell Danny.
However, Becky reminds D.J. of her "official family member" status and that she officially lives in the house now. This means that, like the guys, she has rule power and makes sure that the girls follow the rules. She says that she loves D.J. and the two of them can still continue to share secrets and spend time together, but she is going to have to be a more responsible adult and keep the girls in check at all times.
D.J. admits that she took advantage of their friendship, and that the reason why she was gone longer than she said she would be is that she and Ryan were really starting to get along with each other. They hug and Becky then asks how it went. D.J. says that when Kimmy locked herself and Jake Bitterman in the closet, it was smooth sailing. She added that the only studying she did was Ryan's eyes, dimples, and hair—none of which will be on her biology final. And that is what she needs to study for, as Becky reminds her: she will not do very well if she does not hit the books, and that is what Becky will help her with as they head downstairs.
Aaron: Hey! Those are boys. You’re fired, Gibbler.
Kimmy: You can’t fire me. I quit.
D.J.: Kimmy, you’re babysitting. You can’t quit. [She turns to Aaron.] Um, Aaron, what if we let you stay up late and watch Arachnophobia in your parents' bedroom.
Aaron: That’s a bribe!
D.J.: Yes, it is.
Aaron: [smiles] I like bribes.
Michelle: Hurry! Hurry! Comet's having puppies!
Stephanie: WHAT?! [She drops her sandwich on the plate and runs out to the living room with Michelle.] Comet's having puppies? [notices Comet] Wait a second, Comet is a boy.
Michelle: [in a sing-song voice] Ha ha ha ha ha. I fooled you.
Stephanie: Michelle, sit down. [She sets her down in a chair, then kneels down to have a chat with her.] Let me tell you a story about a little girl who was watching sheep, and she liked to fool people by crying "Wolf!". But then, the real wolf came, and nobody believed her.
Michelle: OK, tell me the story.
Stephanie: I just did.
Michelle: No "Once Upon a Time"? [Stephanie shakes her head.] No "Happy Ever After"? [Stephanie shakes her head again.] Dumb story.
[Jesse, Danny, and Joey are playing pool with the new table set up in the basement.]
Jesse: Aha! The Kid's still got it. Now pay up, Fun Boy.
Joey: Jess, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. And I stink. [He pays up.]
Danny: My turn.
Jesse: Daniel, please. Save yourself the time and humiliation. Just empty your pockets right now. [He gathers up all the balls and re-racks them.]
Danny: Aw, come on, Jess. Just one game. I want to be able to tell my grandchildren that I actually played "The Kid". So what are you guys playing for, $1 a ball?
Jesse: No, we were playing for a quarter a ball--yes, we were playing a dollar a ball. [He rolls the balls, then removes the triangle.] What the heck, why don't we make it 2 bucks a ball? [He then sees Danny using the wrong end of his cue stick...] You may want to use the other end of the stick. [...causing Danny to realize his mistake and turn it around.]
Danny: Oh! No wonder they call you "The Kid". [He then breaks the balls, and all are shocked on what he does on his first shot.]
Joey: Whoa! You just sunk 3 balls!
Danny: Aw, gee; I just made 6 bucks. What a lucky start. [He then prepares for his second shot...] OK, split shot. 6-ball in the corner pocket. [...and makes it count.] Would you look at that? I just made two go in.
[Accompanied by jazzy music, we get a montage of just how good a pool shark he really is, as Joey continues to mark off shot after shot, and Jesse can only watch helplessly. When we get to his last shot, Jesse notices he sinks...]
Jesse: One, two, three, four, five [while keeping the 8-ball in play].
Danny: Well, Jess, that's 50 balls, at $2 a ball. I believe that's 100 Mr. Washington's. Hey, hey, hey. Talk about beginner's luck. [But Jesse's not paying up...or going down...without a fight.]
Jesse: You hustled me, man. I'm supposed to be hustling you.
Danny: I'm glad you appreciate the irony. [He holds out his hand, and his brother-in-law finally gives in and pays up. But Danny decides to be generous.] Thank you. Joey, here's $10 for keeping your mouth shut. Buy yourself something nice.
Jesse: You knew he was a pool shark?
Joey: Well, he did go to college on a billiards scholarship.
[Stephanie and Michelle head downstairs to the kitchen.]
Stephanie: OK, Michelle. Are you ready for the yummiest, most delicious bowl of Rocky Road ice cream you ever ate in your life?
Michelle: Rocky Road makes me crazy!
Stephanie: [as she walks over to the fridge] Alright. Here comes the almonds, the marshmallows, the chocolate chips, the... [She opens the door, but the ice cream's not there!] Oh no! All the Rocky Road ice cream is gone! All the ice cream disappeared!
Michelle: Call the police! This is an emergency! [Stephanie laughs at her.] What's so funny?
Stephanie: [in a sing-song voice] Ha ha ha ha ha. I fooled you. [normal voice, as she and Michelle walk over to the kitchen table] The ice cream is hidden right over here in this duck. [She opens the ceramic duck jar to confirm this.]
Michelle: That was a very mean trick.
Stephanie: I'm sorry, but I had to teach you a lesson. Now, you'll never fool anyone again. Right, Michelle?
Michelle: Right. Now start scooping.
[After going upstairs the minute she gets home, D.J. comes back downstairs and is still busted.]
Stephanie: D.J., I know what you've been up to.
D.J.: Exactly how much do you know?
Stephanie: Lying, sneaking out, meeting boys. Dad, where did we go wrong with her? [Danny glares at her.] I know, I know, I'm outta here [and she leaves].
- The episode title comes from the 1983 Cyndi Lauper song of the same name
- Stephanie's lesson to Michelle regarding honesty was based on the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"
- When Michelle says "No 'Happy Ever After'?" (regarding Stephanie's twist on the above story), she means "No 'Happily Ever After'?" (the usual fairy tale ending)
- The second time someone other than Danny is tough on the girls; this time, it's Becky (first was season 2's "Joey Gets Tough")
- Bob Saget is also a pool shark in real life, as he did all the shots himself