|Goodbye Mr. Bear|
|Season 2, episode 18|
|Air date||March 24, 1989|
|Writer(s)||Jeff Franklin & Kim Weiskopf|
|Previous||El Problema Grande de D.J.|
|Next||Blast From the Past|
In her room, to the tune of "Music Box Dancer" (appropriately on a music box), Michelle repeatedly sings "Baby, baby, baby". As Jesse comes into her room, he chuckles at her singing and she asks him to give it a try. He doesn't fare well, but encourages her to keep singing.
It is time for the annual spring-cleaning, which is one of Danny's favorite times of the year, to which D.J. points out, that to him, it's Christmas. His motto is "Clean good, dirt bad", something he taught before to Michelle in "Pal Joey".
To drive the point home, he treats his family as the "troops" to his General Patton. After he gives them their assignments, they sound off and march upstairs (see Quotes below).
During this time, Jesse learns what the phrase "little cause, big effect" means when he accidentally breaks a handle off of a drawer in the kitchen, and ends up having to replace the kitchen's entire network of cabinets and drawers because the broken handle's design has been discontinued, and a newer design that Jesse buys does not go very well with the cabinet and drawer design that is in the kitchen, so Jesse has to buy cabinets and drawers that go with the new handles.
At the same time, the girls (including Michelle) have to decide what toys they will keep and which ones they will donate to charity. During this time, Stephanie is frantic. It seems that Mr. Bear, the stuffed toy that the girls' mother, Pam, gave Stephanie on the day that she brought newborn Michelle home from the hospital, is missing. Stephanie does not want to lose Mr. Bear because he not only is her best friend, but also represents one of the last tangible links between her and her mom.
The family also helps Stephanie look for Mr. Bear, but to no avail, so she starts making "Lost" posters in hopes he will turn up soon, and D.J. wants her to talk about something other than him. She even mentions that when Stephanie lost her "Pillow Person", D.J. did mope, but not for long. She got over it and moved on. Luckily for her, Stephanie found him under her bed.
However, as much comfort as that provides for D.J., there is still no comfort for Stephanie, as the search for Mr. Bear continues. Stephanie then suspects that Joey might have unintentionally given him away.
Joey brings a bear that he calls "Dr. Bear" (who looks just like Mr. Bear, but without a scar that Stephanie gave Mr. Bear), and Jesse's parents, Nick and Irene, bring a whole bunch of teddy bears, all in an attempt to cheer Stephanie up, but she wants nothing to do with them, so she storms off upstairs, much to the shock of everyone (and the groans of the audience). Danny and Jesse realize that they need to "snap the kid out of this", but this is easier said than done. Nick and Irene want to take their stash back, but it appears Michelle is attached to those bears.
The family heads upstairs to D.J. and Stephanie's room, and find "the kid" moping around at the window, and remind her that they still have her; however, she still insists that Mr. Bear is still "one of the family", and losing him is just as bad as losing a fellow human family member such as Pam. D.J. is sick and tired of watching her younger sister/roommate moping around, but Jesse is more sick and tired of it than anyone else. He asks her to "lay one of those killer smiles" on the rest of the family, and by that, Danny means a real smile, like the one Mr. Bear would be proud of, even if he is with some other kid now, as pointed out by Joey. D.J. remembers how their mother brought home Mr. Bear for Stephanie, Jesse then feels a little guilty for being so mad, because Mr. Bear was so important to Stephanie because he was a present from Pam. Everyone reminisces about Pam (as the inspirational music plays). The reason that nobody has talked about Pam in a long time is of all the pain it would bring back to everyone. Among their memories is when D.J. and Stephanie would listen to Pam sing "On Top of Spaghetti" to them.
As the family is remembering Pam by watching a videotape of her arriving home from the hospital with Michelle two years ago, Michelle gets Mr. Bear out of his hiding place (inside of the piano bench) and gives him back to Stephanie, who then apologizes to Joey for falsely accusing him of donating him to charity, to which he replies, "All that matters is...the bear is back!" (which also brings cheers to the rest of the family).
As they continue watching the tape, images of Pam holding Michelle appear on the TV screen (as somber music plays). The mood among the family is also very somber indeed (as the somber music plays out and the EP credits appear).
[The family is in the living room, as "troops" to "General" Danny.]
Danny: Good morning, troops. It is now 0700 [7 a.m. military time] and it's time to attack the enemy. Grease, grime, slime, sludge. And that's just Joey's room. Now, what is dirt?
Michelle: Dirt bad.
Danny: I can't hear you.
Michelle: Dirt bad!
Stephanie: Daddy's really into spring-cleaning, isn't he?
D.J.: Steph, it may be spring-cleaning to you and me, but to Dad, it's Christmas.
[The "troops" march off upstairs to do their duties. All singing in military cadence:]
Joey: Hut! If we find dirt, we will attack!
All: If we find dirt, we will attack!
Jesse: [taking Michelle with him] And we'll get Danny off our back!
All: And we'll get Danny off our back!
Joey: Sound off!
All: 1, 2!
Joey: Sound off!
Michelle: Dirt bad!
Danny: [sighs] I love the smell of Lysol in the morning.
[In D.J. and Stephanie's room, Stephanie prepares to get rid of any toys and stuffed animals they don't want anymore, as Mr. Bear "looks on".]
Stephanie: Mr. Bear, part of spring-cleaning is giving the toys we don't play with anymore to charity. Should we keep Candy Land? [cut to Mr. Bear] No, there's no real candy in it. You are such a nutty bear.
[Michelle comes in, accompanied by D.J.]
D.J.: Michelle, before we give these toys away, is there something you want here?
Michelle: I want that. [points to Mr. Bear]
[She grabs you-know-what, but you-know-who stops her dead in her tracks.]
Stephanie: Freeze, bear-napper!
Michelle: Who, me?
Stephanie: [takes back her "friend"] Mr. Bear is not a toy. He's one of the family.
D.J.: If Mr. Bear's related to anyone in this room, it's the mattress.
Stephanie: [holds him close to her to "hear" him "speak"] Mr. Bear says, "How rude."
[Stephanie, devastated that Joey accidentally sent Mr. Bear to charity, is in her and her older sister's room making "Lost" posters in hopes that someone will return him. D.J. comes in.]
D.J.: Steph, how many of these posters are you gonna make?
Stephanie: I'm gonna put one on every telephone pole in America. I've gotta find Mr. Bear.
D.J.: Steph, why don't we try talking about something else besides Mr. Bear?
Stephanie: OK, let's talk about Joey. Why'd he give away Mr. Bear?
D.J.: Don't blame Joey. Accidents happen. Like, remember the time you lost my Pillow Person? He was so cute. He had dangling arms and legs. I was mad at you for losing him, but then I got over it. I grew up. I moved on.
[As soon as she mentions "Pillow Person"...]
Stephanie: I found your Pillow Person under my mattress.
D.J.: My Pillow Person! [cuddles him] Oh, I thought I'd never see you again! I mean, what a pleasant surprise.
[Suddenly, Joey comes in.]
Joey: Hi, girls. Steph, I feel terrible about this Mr. Bear thing. Is there any way I can make it up to you?
Stephanie: Remember what Mr. Bear looked like?
Joey: Well, yeah, sure.
Stephanie: Then grab a crayon.
Joey: Pass me a brown.
- The only episode in which Danny's late wife, Pam Tanner, is shown
- It is revealed in the episode that Pam died from a car accident
- The episode title is a take on the book and movie Goodbye, Mr. Chips
- Danny saying,"I love the smell of Lysol in the morning" (see Quotes) is a take to the famous line from Apocalypse Now: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning"
- "On Top of Spaghetti" is a parody of "On Top of Old Smoky"