|Season 7, episode 7|
|Air date||October 26, 1993|
|Previous||Smash Club: The Next Generation|
|Next||Another Opening, Another No Show|
Michelle comes downstairs to the kitchen with some exciting news for Danny. She smiles and lets him guess. Despite his guesses, it is not that she combed her hair differently, nor did she take off a few pounds. In fact, using her tongue, she tells him that she has lost two teeth, which she shows him in her hand. He says that they are two fewer teeth that she needs to brush, and she suggests he had "better call the tooth fairy and tell her to bring twice as much money", to which he can only hug and kiss her.
Michelle is doing her homework when she sees D.J. and Stephanie return from a trip to the mall. With Stephanie revealing she got a belt, a T-shirt, and a cat toy (despite the family not having a cat) and D.J. not revealing what she got, Michelle longs to emulate them and go shopping for her own clothes, but that is hard to do when Danny still treats her like a baby. She insists that shopping with Danny is like him asking her to try on new clothes and holding them up and saying "Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?" However, her sisters explain to her that that was how it worked when they were little, to which she replies that she's not a little kid anymore. When she answers their (seemingly) personal questions about her by saying that she does not wear makeup, does not like boys, and still talks to her stuffed animals if she is not mad at them, they look at each other and determine she is still a "little kid".
Then, Danny comes in with a little green hat with a pink flower attached to it, and places it on Michelle's head, and says his own quote (as previously mentioned).
The next day, as everyone comes downstairs for a quick bacon-y breakfast served up by Joey, Jesse is overwhelmed by the fact that he has so many decisions to make about needs for The Smash Club. This gets to the point where he is struggling to make even the most minuscule decisions about the club.
Everyone, including Steve and Kimmy, agrees that colors need to show emotion. Steve even points out: "the decision to decide is a decision in itself". D.J. points out that he is learning that in his philosophy class in college, but he points out that he saw it tattooed on the car wash guy's back. He adds that a coffee shop named Café Black closed down in a week because of the colors, which D.J. says was depressing indeed. Kimmy says that the wrong color combinations can make people physically ill, and says Stephanie's outfit is making her eyes water, and Stephanie makes a quick comeback by saying that Kimmy's outfit "should come with an airsick bag". In any event, Jesse starts his color selections with teal, and Joey jokes that that was the color of "Custer's last shirt" (see Trivia), leading Jesse to ask what color the Titanic was.
As the girls head off to school, Danny then gives a valid reason as to why Michelle can't buy her own lunch at school like her sisters, and it's because he's afraid she'll lose her lunch money, and at her age, the odds of that happening are pretty high. He even jokingly points out about the grape jelly smile he puts on her peanut butter sandwich. He then puts the hat on her head, and then on her way to school, she sees Comet and puts the hat on his head, and soon it's her turn to say Danny's quote. She heads off, also leaving behind her lunch box.
Back inside, Jesse is going through color sample books to see more combos that will fit, as Nicky and Alex watch. As they wait impatiently for him to put those down and read them a story, he reminds them that they are indeed sample books and not story books. And so he makes up a fairy tale (see Quotes). The phone rings, and with the "story" over, the call is from a bathroom fixtures company. He asks them to send over some samples and he will look and think them over and "go with the flow" (a plumbing pun). Becky comes into the living room, and asks what is troubling him. He is worried that his head will explode, but Becky says that he is going to just get a "slow leak". Suddenly, Alex starts jumping up and down, so she asks her hubby to take a break and take Alex to the bathroom.
As Michelle grows more and more frustrated with Danny's overbearing nature, it gets to a point where she finally snaps, and angrily tells him to stop treating her like a baby. It is clear that both father and daughter have some changes to make. Danny realizes that he needs to let go and start letting the girls grow up as they get older, so he talks to Michelle and admits that he has a hard time letting go. So, he promises to start treating her like a big girl.
Over in the kitchen, Vicky talks to Danny about the situation, and maybe she thinks Danny does indeed feel the need to let go. As Stephanie and Michelle come home from school, the proof of Danny needing to let go lies in Michelle coming home from school and angrily handing her "father" her lunch box before heading upstairs. Stephanie even agrees, mentioning he had to tie her shoelaces, and he remarks that he was afraid she was going to trip, and she says that she did... over him.
Then Jesse comes in, and even after removing his shades, he himself is a total mess, emotionally (not physically). He then shows off some more possibilities, starting with cups: a big blue one that says "Here's a club that gives me a lot of value for my money", and a teeny-weeny white one that says "Boy, this place must be hip, 'cause I'm getting ripped off."
D.J. then says that some more samples came in, and Danny says that he has to stop, because the house is starting to look like a showroom; as a result, the living room is soon crowded with some unconventional new "furniture"; which are, in fact, toilets of every design and color possible. He complains that he was expecting a catalog, but all she can do is wish him good luck and to not "forget to put the seat down". When Joey comes in, he can't believe what he sees, and he feels the same way as his friend. Becky comes in and asks him one simple question: What was the easiest decision that he has ever made in his life? To marry him, of course. This elicits an "aw" from Joey (and the studio audience). Becky then asks him to try to pick the toilet that fits that decision of his, and he picks the "Flush-Master 2000" from Spiegel ("Chicago, 60609"). Alex then comes out and announces that he is ready to use the potty all by himself, and that impresses his parents.
That night, as he puts her in bed, Danny understands why Michelle was so upset. He's her last "big girl", not a baby. He intends to treat her like a big girl by letting her shop for her own clothes, take lunch money to school (if she doesn't blow it all on pudding), and even get a tattoo (only if it washes off in the tub; in other words, the temporary stick-on ones, and not the needle ones from the shops). He also says that he is going to remember and respect her if it embarrasses her if he kisses her. They tell each other good night, and as he leaves, she waves to him, and he waves right back as he turns off the light and closes the door on the way out.
The next day at school, as Michelle, Derek, and Denise play Frisbee at recess, Derek manages to toss it so high it lands on a backstop. Denise volunteers to get it down for him, and later, so does Michelle. In both cases, Danny is able to coax each of them down. However, in Michelle's case, as soon as she is up there and she manages to get the Frisbee down, she gets scared (known as acrophobia or the fear of heights – see also trivia section #4). So, like the same way with Denise, he does treat her like a big girl and reminds her to come down the exact way she went up – but going really slowly. Taking his advice of it being "like a ladder", she does get down, with his guidance. Like with Denise, he reminds her the backstop has metal poles to both support her feet and to help her on her way down. As soon as she is back on her feet, this elicits applause from her classmates. After he tells them, "Show's over, there's nothing more to see here!" and her classmates depart, father and daughter share one last "big girl" moment, and he reminds her that being a "big girl" means knowing what is dangerous and what is not. They decide to help each other and end the moment with a kiss and hug. He says that she did not have to kiss him, but it was her decision, and he "can live with that". With a happy ending, they decide to go ahead and go home.
[Michelle is doing her homework when her sisters return from a mall trip.]
D.J. & Stephanie: Hey, Michelle.
Michelle: What did you guys get at the mall?
Stephanie: [as she empties her bag] Well, I got a T-shirt, and a belt, and a cat toy.
Michelle: But we don't have a cat.
Stephanie: I know. But the sales guy at Stuff for Cats was so cute. I wonder how this thing works. [She tries it out, with D.J. acting as a cat, clawing, err...slapping it away from her.] Oh, I get it!
Jesse [to Nicky and Alex]: Once upon a time, there lived a handsome well-clothed night club owner, and he couldn't make a decision. He couldn't decide if he wanted this color, or this color, or this color, or this color, and it was driving him crazy. [The phone rings.] And then the phone rang. The end.
[Stephanie and Michelle come home from school, and greet Vicky and Danny.]
Vicky: Hi, Stephanie. Hi, Michelle.
Stephanie: Hey, Vicky. Hi, dad.
Danny: Hey, Steph.
Michelle: Hi, Vicky.
Danny: Hi, honey.
Michelle: [angrily handing Danny her lunch box] "Father." [She then heads upstairs.]
Danny: Did you see that? She's so angry at me. She says I treat her like a baby.
Stephanie: Well dad, sometimes you can be a little overprotective.
Stephanie: Yeah. Last week, I was at the mall talking to Lucas Kiliun, the cutest boy in my class. Dad notices my shoes are untied, so he gets down on the floor to tie them.
Danny: I was afraid you would trip.
Stephanie: I did... over you.
[Michelle is facing her fears as she does her best to get down from the backstop after tossing down the frisbee.]
Michelle: Daddy, I can't get down! Come and get me!
Danny: Honey, you can do this on your own. Just come down the same way you went up.
Michelle: I can't! I'm sorry! I'll wear the hat, I won't buy lunch, I won't get a tattoo, just get me down!
Danny: Honey, did you hear what I said? You're a big girl now. You can do this on your own.
Michelle: Are you sure?
Danny: I'm positive. A really great man once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Derek: I believe falling is also a consideration.
Danny: Michelle, honey, I know you can do this. I'm right behind you. I'm not gonna let you fall. Just come down slowly.
Michelle: [still scared] OK. [She slowly starts her descent, as Danny guides her verbally.]
Danny: Good. That's it. It's just like a step-ladder. Now, there's a metal step. [She steps on it.] That's right, easy now. Just step..that's good. It's like a ladder. [He then guides her physically, despite promising otherwise.] Michelle, you're doing this all by yourself. I'm not helping you [again, despite otherwise]. You're almost there, just two more steps. [She finally is back on the ground, as he tells her...] You did it! [This brings cheers to her classmates, who come up and hug and high-five her.]
Derek: Well... that was exhilarating!
Danny: OK, show's over! There's nothing more to see here. [Her classmates depart.]
- Stephanie's hair is different from this episode onward
- Joey's quip, "Custer's last shirt" is a take on "Custer's Last Stand", the informal name of the Battle of the Little Bighorn
- Derek saying, "a great man who said that 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself'" is a reference to Franklin D. Roosevelt, the 32nd U.S. President (1933–1945), and the famous line from his inaugural address
- "High anxiety" is an actual term (although non-technical) referring to a state of extreme fear (It's also the title of a 1977 Mel Brooks film)
- The opening teaser to this episode is similar to the subplot of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (in 22 Minutes)" (season 3), where Stephanie loses just one tooth and actually does find tooth fairy money under her pillow; $20, to be exact (when it should've been just $1, as Danny put the wrong bill there)