|It Was a Dark and Stormy Night|
|Season 7, episode 1|
|Air date||September 14, 1993|
|Writer(s)||Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler|
|Previous||The House Meets the Mouse (Part 2)|
Up in the attic, Jesse and Becky are excited about Nicky and Alex's first night in their new beds (see below). So much so, they plan to videotape the whole thing, to which Jesse says, "I can see it now: Nicky and Alex Katsopolis are The Young and the Tired." However, there is just one problem: As soon as the camera rolls, Jesse doesn't realize that he left the lens cover on! So Becky removes it, and surprise, surprise, they are still not there. Next thing Becky and Jesse hear are giggles coming from outside, and it is obviously the twins, who are hiding under the covers of their parents' bed. Their parents do find them and tell them "No 'big bed'". But it is apparent that they will not listen, so they try to hide again, only to get caught again, and this time, Becky and Jesse tackle them.
On the last night of camp, Steve Hale tells a scary story about a "Mud Man" named "Cropsy Maniac" to all the kids, which makes them fall asleep. While it is assumed that the camp is co-ed, only the girls' cabin is seen.
Before the bedtime story, D.J. and Kimmy come in and give the girls the five-minute "lights out" warning and inform them that it is important they get plenty of sleep before camp ends tomorrow. Denise Frazer asks if it is so that they do not end up tired tomorrow, and D.J. tells her that it is so that she, Kimmy, Steve, and the other counselors can go party tonight after all the campers get their shuteye.
Meanwhile, back at the house, Nicky and Alex are refusing to sleep in their own beds. They have been spending every night in Jesse and Becky's bed, and the couple has been tossing and turning night after night – appropriately to the Bobby Lewis hit "Tossin' and Turnin'". Jesse can only muster out a very exhausted "Have mercy" when the song ends. Irritated, the couple buys new race car beds for the twins. The dilemma ends with Jesse and Becky trying to help the boys get to bed by resting with them. Tired, Jesse and Becky fall asleep, and Nicky and Alex ditch their sleeping parents for the nice "big bed."
The next morning (complete with time lapse from night to day), while Joey makes a welcome home meal for the girls, an exhausted Jesse sits at the counter explaining the fiasco. He even reads Michelle's postcard, for about the 101st time.
Suddenly, the door opens, and Michelle, Stephanie, D.J., Steve and Kimmy have returned home from a summer at Camp Lakota, and that has the rest of the family coming out ready to hug and kiss. Michelle tells Jesse that she no longer wants him to call her "Munchkin", which he has affectionately called her for years, because everyone at camp gave her the nickname "Trail Mix", and she liked it. In addition, her gifts to the twins are lion masks that she made for arts & crafts, knowing that the lion is their favorite animal. Then Becky decides the "the future kings of the jungle" need a nap in their new race car beds, and again, they insist on the "big bed". Stephanie confirms that the camp is indeed co-ed, as she is anxious to write letters to all the boys whose names appear on the bracelets they gave her. D.J., however, is anxious to call Steve, as she notes that this is the longest that they have been away all summer. Danny feels hurt when his daughters act like they did not miss the family one bit while they were at camp. However, they assure him that they will have time to bond after they unpack, and as they head upstairs to do just that, they sing the Camp Lakota song. Once the singing stops, Danny and Joey remark about their short camp-mate experiences at Camp Metalarc (see Quotes).
Upstairs in Stephanie and Michelle's room, as they unpack and unload their bags, laundry and all, D.J. enters her former room and tells her former roommate that she lent her a pair of plastic slippers prior to their departure for camp, asking if she remembers them and where they are. Stephanie says that she does remember, but they ended up at the bottom of the lake (see Quotes), and it quickly turns into an argument that upsets Stephanie's current roommate, who tells them to stop arguing because they are scaring Gilbert, a rabbit she brought home from camp. The two former roommates are surprised, although D.J. is more surprised (see Quotes).
Danny enters the room, collects the laundry, and sees Gilbert. Stephanie explains that Gilbert had a broken leg when they found him at camp. They nursed him back to health, and Michelle was supposed to have released Gilbert back into the forest that Camp Lakota is in. Danny understands that Michelle wants to keep Gilbert because she is his friend; but he tells her that he needs to be with his friends, meaning his forest friends. Steve arrives, has a brief chat with Danny and the girls, and then takes the girls back to Camp Lakota to release Gilbert, but there is a heavy thunderstorm in the area, and they are forced into the cabin that they occupied while camp was in session (see Quotes). But there is a problem with that: Gilbert is not in the box that they brought with them. In fact, he chewed right through the box to escape, and a depressed Michelle said that she did not even get a chance to say goodbye. Steve's car is also stuck in the mud, and then there is a power outage. Terrified of the "Mud Man"/"Cropsy Maniac", Michelle freaks out, thinking her fantasy then is about to become a reality now, but her sisters still convince her otherwise.
Back at the house, despite their parents' pleas, Nicky and Alex still think their new race car beds are "bad" and "nasty", so to alleviate the pain, Becky and Jesse help them "race on off to sleep", complete with "Vroom vroom" for good measure.
Back at Camp Lakota, while the younger girls wait for their older sister and her boyfriend to return from getting his car out of the mud, Michelle worries that they will run into "you-know-who". Stephanie, however, convinces her otherwise (see Quotes).
Later, Danny and Joey show up, all muddy, causing Steve to try to beat up Joey and mistake him for the "Mud Man"/"Cropsy Maniac". Danny and Joey have brought Gilbert with them, and Michelle hugs him. It turns out that Gilbert was still back at the house, and then it all becomes clear as to the main reason why the girls wanted to take a trip back to Camp Lakota – it is a place they love. When they saw how empty it now is, they felt let down. Danny compares it to going to the movies, and when the film ends and the theater lights turn back on, all that is left is an empty room (see Quotes). As the power is turned back on and the rain lets up, Michelle gives one final hug to Gilbert before he is released back into the forest, saying that it is time for him to go home. In fact, it is time for all of them to go home. And Danny was right on point: The cabin they were in when they went back is empty, the magic is gone, and now, so are they. They sadly take one last look at the place, turn the lights off, and close the door.
That night at home, while everyone is enjoying s'mores from the fireplace, the girls admit that they did miss everyone a lot. This makes Danny feel a lot better, and Michelle tells Jesse that she would not mind if he starts calling her "Munchkin" again, and he does, topping it off with a kiss. And to add to the fun, after Danny hands Michelle her plate of s'mores, she finds it hot, so she puts it on the couch.
What nobody knows is, after he brings some drinks over for everyone, Joey walks over and unknowingly sits on the hot s'mores plate and it sticks to his pants, causing everyone to laugh out loud at him. And to add even more humor, the family tops it all off with whipped cream and a cherry. Even Comet gets in on the s'mores fun licking the mess off of Joey's pants as he runs upstairs to escape the dog, remarking that he has not had a good day, as the family laughs at his humor some more.
[The girls take their stuff and head upstairs to unpack.]
Girls: [singing] We love Camp Lakota, Lakota, Lakota! The camp that we love is Lakota, Lakota! Did we mention that we love Lakota!
[The singing stops.]
Danny: I don't get it. When I was a kid and I came back from Camp Metalarc, I couldn't wait to be home. I was so happy. I kissed my parents, I kissed my bed, I kissed the floor.
Joey: Danny, it was a day camp [confirming he was Danny's camp-mate.]
Danny: Yeah, but it was a very long day.
[Upstairs in Stephanie and Michelle's room, both girls are unloading their laundry, as D.J. enters.]
D.J.: Hey, Steph, do you have those plastic sandals I lent you?
Stephanie: No. But I know where they are.
D.J.: Great. Where are they?
Stephanie: At the bottom of the lake.
D.J.: [scoffs] I told you they wouldn't fit!
Stephanie: It's not my fault you have big feet!
D.J.: Well, I'm not gonna lend you any more stuff!
[Both Stephanie and her former roommate begin arguing, but all that does is upset her current roommate.]
Michelle: Quiet! You're scaring Gilbert!
D.J.: Sorry, Michelle. We didn't mean to scare... [pauses & with Stephanie] "Gilbert?" [by herself] Floppy-eared, sniffle-nosed, carrot-breath Gilbert?
Michelle: Easy. He's very sensitive about his breath.
D.J.: Michelle, you were supposed to let him go at the camp.
Michelle: I tried, but he didn't want to. It was his decision.
Stephanie: [as she rolls her eyes in disgust] Oh, come on.
Michelle: It's true. I asked him if he wanted to go back into the woods, and he went... [imitates a rabbit]
[The girls head back to Camp Lakota on this dark and stormy night. They then find a cabin – one that may look familiar to them. D.J. turns on the lights.]
D.J.: Well we're wet, but we're back. It looks so weird in here.
Michelle: Everything looks so different.
Stephanie: Well, that's because we're not here anymore.
Michelle: Sure feels like we're here.
Stephanie: Fine, we're here. Let's just dump the bunny and split.
[Michelle goes to get Gilbert out of his box.]
Michelle: Uh, guys, somebody is missing.
D.J.: Gilbert chewed right through the box. Boy isn't that just like a rabbit.
Michelle: [sadly] I never got a chance to say goodbye.
[Michelle is worried that a character from a scary story may be outside.]
Stephanie: [regarding the "Mud Man"] Michelle, there is no 'Cropsy Maniac'. That's just a story that counselors tell kids to shut them up so they can make out.
[The girls and Steve hear footsteps in the mud and look scared...]
D.J.: What was that?
Steve: It was probably just the wind.
Stephanie: Just the wind? Just the wind? It's never just the wind!
[The girls grab a broom to fight off the "Mud Man/Cropsy Maniac" outside, when Steve has another idea.]
Steve: Don't worry girls, I was on the wrestling team for two years. [The door starts to open.] Uh, three years would've been better. [The door opens and the girls scream. Steve starts to wrestle the "Mud Man/Cropsy Maniac", but it just turns out to be Joey covered in mud.]
Danny: It’s like when you go to the movies. When the show is over, you know the magic’s all gone. All that’s left is just a big empty room with a sticky floor.
The episode title is a well-known phrase originally from the opening sentence of English writer Edward Bulwer-Lytton's 1830 novel Paul Clifford. More recently it is known for being a recurring phrase used by Snoopy from the Peanuts comic strip.
Jesse's "The Young and the Tired" to describe the twins is a take on the CBS soap opera The Young and the Restless.