|It Was a Dark and Stormy Night|
|Season 7, episode 1|
|Air date||September 14, 1993|
|Writer(s)||Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler|
|Previous||The House Meets the Mouse (Part 2)|
Up in the attic, Jesse and Becky are excited about Nicky and Alex's first night in their new beds (see below). So much so, they plan to videotape the whole thing, to which Jesse says, "I can see it now: Nicky and Alex Katsopolis are The Young and the Tired." However, there's just one problem: As soon as the camera rolls, Jesse doesn't realize that he left the lens cover on! So Becky removes it, and surprise, surprise, they're still not there. Next thing Becky and Jesse hear are giggles coming from outside, and it's obvious, it's the twins, who are hiding under the covers of their parents' bed. Their parents do find them and tell them "No 'big bed'". But it's apparent that they won't listen, so they try to hide under the covers again, only to get caught again, and this time, Becky and Jesse tackle them.
On the last night of camp, Steve Hale tells a scary story about a "Mud Man" named "Cropsy Maniac" to all the kids, which makes them fall asleep. While it is assumed that the camp is co-ed, only the girls' cabin is seen.
Before the bedtime story, we see D.J. and Kimmy coming in and telling the girls about the 5-minute "lights out" warning and that it's important they get plenty of sleep before camp ends tomorrow. Denise Frazer, one of the campers, asks if it's so they don't end up tired tomorrow, and D.J. tells her it's that so she, Kimmy, Steve, and the other counselors can go party tonight after all the campers get their shuteye.
Meanwhile, back at the house, Nicky and Alex are refusing to sleep in their own beds. They have been spending every night in Jesse and Becky's bed, and the couple has been tossing and turning night after night – appropriately to the Bobby Lewis hit "Tossin' and Turnin'". Jesse can only muster out a very exhausted "Have mercy" when the song ends. Irritated, the couple buys new race car beds for the twins. The dilemma ends with Jesse and Becky trying to help the boys get to bed by resting with them. Tired, Jesse and Becky fall asleep, and Nicky and Alex ditch their sleeping parents for the nice "big bed."
The next morning (complete with time lapse from night to day), while Joey makes a welcome home meal for the girls, an exhausted Jesse sits at the counter explaining the fiasco. He even reads Michelle's post card, for about the 101st time (as he says he's read it 100 times already).
Suddenly, the door opens, and Michelle, Stephanie, D.J., Steve and Kimmy have returned home from a summer at Camp Lakota, and that has the rest of the family coming out ready to hug and kiss. Michelle tells Jesse that she no longer wants him to call her "Munchkin", which he has affectionately called her for years (which elicits groans from the audience), because everyone at camp gave her the nickname "Trail Mix", and she liked it. In addition, her gifts to the twins are lion masks that she made for arts & crafts, knowing that the lion is their favorite animal, which elicits an "aw" from the audience. Then Becky decides the "the future kings of the jungle" need a nap in their new race car beds, and again, they insist on the "big bed". Stephanie confirms that the camp is indeed co-ed, as she is anxious to write letters to all the boys whose names appear on the bracelets they gave her. D.J., however, is anxious to call Steve, as she notes that this is the longest they've been away all summer. Danny feels hurt when his daughters act like they did not miss the family one bit while they were at camp. However, they assure him that they will have time to bond after they unpack, and as they head upstairs to do just that, they sing the Camp Lakota song. Once the singing stops, Danny remarks that when Camp Metalarc was over that he could not wait to get home and kiss everything in sight, from his parents, to his bed, to his room's floor. Joey, apparently Danny's camp-mate, says that it was a day camp, to which Danny remarks, "Yeah, but it was a very long day."
Upstairs in Stephanie and Michelle's room, as they unpack and unload their bags, laundry and all, D.J. enters her former room and tells her former roommate that she lent her a pair of plastic slippers prior to their departure for camp, asking if she remembers them and where they are. Stephanie says that she does remember, but they ended up at the bottom of the lake, and D.J. told her that they would not fit, and Stephanie says it was not her fault that D.J.'s feet were too big for those slippers anymore. Because of this, D.J. decides not to lend Stephanie any more stuff, and it quickly turns into an argument that upsets Stephanie's current roommate, who tells them to stop arguing because they are scaring Gilbert, a rabbit she brought home from camp. The two former roommates are surprised by the appearance of "floppy-eared, sniffle-nosed, carrot-breath" Gilbert, although D.J. is more surprised (due to the aforementioned quote). Michelle tells her really big sister to go easy on Gilbert because he is very sensitive about his breath, and also explains that she brought Gilbert home in her bag because she said that it was his decision to not go back into the woods, but Stephanie and eventually D.J. do not believe her one bit, as Stephanie can only muster "Oh, come on", as she rolls her eyes in disgust, but Michelle says that it is true. She says that she asked Gilbert if he wanted to go back into the woods, and imitates a rabbit when interpreting Gilbert's response.
Danny enters the room, collects the laundry, and sees Gilbert. Stephanie explains that Gilbert had a broken leg when they found him at camp. They nursed him back to health, and Michelle was supposed to have released Gilbert back into the forest that Camp Lakota is in. Danny understands that Michelle wants to keep Gilbert because she is his friend (to which the studio audience reacts with "aw"); but when he tells her that he needs to be with his friends, he means forest friends; i.e. "the ones with fur and four legs, who breathe indiscriminately". Steve arrives, has a brief chat with Danny and the girls, and then takes the girls back to Camp Lakota to release Gilbert, but there is a heavy thunderstorm in the area, and they are forced into the cabin that they occupied while camp was in session, and they are depressed by how empty the cabin now looks, to which Michelle remarks that everything looks so different and Stephanie says it's because they're not there anymore, and Michelle says that it feels like they are. Stephanie can only say, "Fine. We're here. Let's just dump the bunny and split." But there is a problem with that: Gilbert is not in the box that they brought with them. In fact, he chewed right through the box to escape, and a depressed Michelle said that she did not even get a chance to say goodbye (which elicits groans from the audience). Steve's car is also stuck in the mud, and then there is a power outage. Terrified of the "Mud Man"/"Cropsy Maniac", Michelle freaks out, thinking her fantasy then is about to become a reality now, but her sisters still convince her otherwise.
Back at the house, despite their parents' pleas, Nicky and Alex still think their new race car beds are "bad" and "nasty", so to alleviate the pain, Becky and Jesse help them "race on off to sleep", complete with "Vroom vroom" for good measure.
Back at Camp Lakota, while the two wait for their older sister and her boyfriend to return from getting his car out of the mud, Michelle worries that they will run into "you-know-who". Stephanie, however, assures her that "There is no Cropsy Maniac. That's just a story that counselors tell kids to shut them up so they can make out."
Later, Danny and Joey show up, all muddy, causing Steve to try to beat up Joey and mistake him for the "Mud Man"/"Cropsy Maniac". Danny and Joey have brought Gilbert with them, and Michelle hugs him (as the audience reacts with "aw"). It turns out that Gilbert was still back at the house, and then it all becomes clear as to the main reason why the girls wanted to take a trip back to Camp Lakota – Camp Lakota is a place they love. When they saw how empty it now is, they felt let down. As the inspirational music plays, Danny compares it to going to the movies, and when the film ends and the theater lights turn back on, all that's left is an empty room. As the power is turned back on and the rain lets up, Michelle gives one final hug to Gilbert before he is released back into the forest, saying that it is time for him to go home (as the audience "aws" again). In fact, it's time for all of them to go home. And Danny was right on point: The cabin they were in when they went back is empty, the magic is gone, and now, so are they. They sadly take one last look at the place they called home for the summer, turn the lights off, and close the door as the somber music plays out.
That night at home, while everyone is enjoying s'mores from the fireplace, the girls admit that they did miss everyone a lot, as more inspirational music plays. This makes Danny feel a lot better, and Michelle tells Jesse that she would not mind if he starts calling her "Munchkin" again, and he does, topping it off with a kiss (as the audience gives another "aw" for the 5th time this episode). And to add to the fun, after Danny hands Michelle her plate of s'mores, she finds it hot, so she puts it on the couch.
What nobody knows is, after he brings some drinks over for everyone, Joey walks over and unknowingly sits on the hot s'mores plate and it sticks to his pants, causing everyone to laugh out loud at him. And to add even more humor, the family tops it all off with whipped cream and a cherry. Even Comet gets in on the s'mores fun licking the mess off of Joey's pants as he runs upstairs to escape the dog, remarking he's not had a good day, as the family laughs at his humor some more (and the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
[Upstairs in Stephanie and Michelle's room, both girls are unloading their laundry, as D.J. enters]
D.J.: Hey, Steph, do you have those plastic sandals I lent you?
Stephanie: No. But I know where they are.
D.J.: Great. Where are they?
Stephanie: At the bottom of the lake.
D.J.: [scoffs] I told you they wouldn't fit!
Stephanie: It's not my fault you have big feet!
D.J.: Well, I'm not gonna lend you any more stuff!
[Both Stephanie and her former roommate begin arguing, but all that does is upset her current roommate.]
Michelle: Quiet! You're scaring Gilbert!
D.J.: Sorry, Michelle. We didn't mean to scare... [pauses & with Stephanie] "Gilbert?" [by herself] Floppy-eared, sniffle-nosed, carrot-breath Gilbert?
Michelle: Easy. He's very sensitive about his breath.
D.J.: Michelle, you were supposed to let him go at the camp.
Michelle: I tried, but he didn't want to. It was his decision.
Stephanie: [as she rolls her eyes in disgust] Oh, come on.
Michelle: It's true. I asked him if he wanted to go back into the woods, and he went... [imitates a rabbit]
[The girls grab what appears to be a sweeper to fight off the "Mud Man/Cropsy Maniac" outside, when Steve has another idea.]
Steve: Don't worry girls, I was on the wrestling team for two years. [notices how bad the situation is] Uh, three years would've been better. [He tries wrestling the "Mud Man/Cropsy Maniac", but it just turns out to be Joey covered in mud.]
Danny: It’s like when you go to the movies. When the show is over, you know the magic’s all gone. All that’s left is just a big empty room with a sticky floor.
The episode title is a well-known phrase originally from the opening sentence of English writer Edward Bulwer-Lytton's 1830 novel Paul Clifford. More recently it is known for being a recurring phrase used by Snoopy from the Peanuts comic strip.
Jesse's "The Young and the Tired" to describe the twins is a take on the CBS soap opera The Young and the Restless.