|Season 2, episode 5|
|Air date||November 11, 1988|
|Writer(s)||Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler|
|Previous||D.J.'s Very First Horse|
|Next||Beach Boy Bingo|
D.J. is in her room, with Michelle, looking at a picture of Patrick Swayze in a magazine. D.J. asks Michelle if he is cute. Michelle's mouth drops wide open, at which point D.J. blows a bubble with her bubble gum, and Michelle pops it – finding it funny, but D.J. does not find that funny (see Quotes).
Jesse is having problems with an advertising jingle that he has been hired to write for Fred's Tire Town. When Joey gives him the inspiration he needs in order to write it, the result is that it is bought. That bit of success leads to Jesse making an offer to Joey – to be his writing partner. Joey accepts the offer, but under one condition: if they want to add a little humor, they have to do it in his room, as it is the "comedy" room and Jesse's is the "music" room.
With the success of the Fred's Tire Town jingle, they decide to do one for Kitty Krispies cat food. But Jesse wants that jingle to be more than just funny; it has to be catchy as well. In other words, he and Joey can do a duet, similar to a guy singing with his cat, and Joey can sing in a cat voice, but he can't wear a catsuit or have cat-related props. But when he gives the jingle "the Joey treatment," and the jingle is not bought, a feud erupts between them, but they work things out and decide to remain partners.
Meanwhile, D.J. and Stephanie are feuding because of the one thing that has made them fight: Stephanie's constant breaking of the rules from the series premiere. For example, D.J., having returned from karate practice, catches Stephanie and Harry playing on her bed, pretending that they have been poisoned by the tea from Stephanie's tea party (see Quotes). As they continue their tea party, D.J. remarks that she is never having kids.
Elsewhere, Danny takes on the daunting task of toilet-training Michelle. When he returns home, Joey informs him that "Madame Curie" is taking a nap after licking squash off her high chair. In any event, Danny shows off a state-of-the-art, latest high-tech, all-digital Japanese potty. Joey remarks that it's all happening so fast. They both remark that soon, after being potty-trained, Michelle will be heading off to school, meeting boys, going to the prom, and getting married. When Danny actually does potty-train her, he shows off a Potty Polly doll and uses it to demonstrate.
Later, D.J. catches Stephanie and Harry eating orange ice cream bars that were reserved for herself and Kimmy. Stephanie tries to give D.J. back the ice cream bar she was eating, expecting her to finish it; however, D.J. obviously knows the damage has already been done and obviously is not going to finish an already-eaten ice cream bar, despite the fact that the wrapper has her and her best friend's names. She already warned Stephanie, but now she is ready to revoke Stephanie's "Get Out of Jail Free card" and make her pay the ultimate price for her actions.
D.J. is out to teach Stephanie a lesson about not following the rules, and warns her that she won't know when it's coming or how it's coming, but what she will know is that it's coming. Since Stephanie's always messing with D.J.'s stuff, D.J. decides to return the favor, starting with tying all of Stephanie's shoes together by the laces while she is not wearing them, and that Stephanie is to untie those shoes starting with the little white sneaker at the bottom and working her way up to the top. This coincides with Joey and Jesse's feud when both come back from their jingle session. Like the guys, the girls also make up.
Speaking of the guys' feud, Jesse is, of course, putting the blame on Joey for their failure (see Quotes). This makes Jesse say that maybe there are too many dads in the house and maybe all they need are two dads instead of three. They're both "fine" with that, as they head to their rooms, but they have trouble opening the childproof gates, so they climb over them.
D.J. and Stephanie have a plan to get the two of them working together again, as D.J. gets Jesse and asks Stephanie to get Joey. Stephanie says her sister has a great mind – if only she could use it for good.
Jesse is already in the girls' room assuring Stephanie that there are no monsters in the closet and he'll check for her, and Joey enters assuring D.J. that she didn't break a window and that he'll check for her. When Stephanie notices Joey's in the room Jesse decides to leave, and so does Joey. But the girls block their exit and, like Danny did earlier with the girls, makes them apologize.
At that point, Danny comes in and surprises everyone with the big news. As soon as the bathroom bell rings, he brings Michelle out and everyone is happy to hear that she's successfully and properly been potty-trained.
However, before they can celebrate the big news, Joey, Jesse, D.J., and Stephanie all feel that they need a moment in the girls' room, so they all go back in and sit down at the little table. The guys remind the girls that nobody is leaving the house, and sometimes in the heat of the moment, they say things they do not really mean. D.J. and Stephanie are sisters and they fight all the time, and Joey and Jesse are like brothers and they fight all the time. Joey asks if Jesse really thinks of him as a brother, but Jesse says Joey irritates him like one. Joey says that is the nicest thing he has ever said to him.
Joey apologizes for springing the puppets on him during the "Kitty Krispies" jingle, as he thought it would be a big hit and he was trying to surprise Jesse and he realizes that he should have talked to Jesse about it first. Jesse apologizes for going crazy about it, and when Joey points out that something was bothering him, that "something" was that he is afraid that he will not make it as a musician, just like Joey is afraid that he will not make it as a comedian. Jesse points out that it is hard leaving the family business as an exterminator, and Joey points out that he goes through that fear every time he goes onstage attempting to make people laugh. But he says that Jesse has to hang tough, and that he has real talent. If it makes it any easier for him, the rest of the family has faith in him.
Jesse admits to Joey that they had a few problems in the beginning, but they make a pretty good team, and Joey agrees that they did some good stuff. They commit to remaining partners, but no puppets anymore. They hug. Stephanie decides this calls for a tea party, and they all give a little toast to their friendship.
[In the opening teaser, D.J. blows a bubble with her bubble gum. Michelle pops the bubble...]
D.J.: [about Michelle popping her bubble gum] Not funny.
Michelle: [after feeling her hand] Yuck.
[D.J. enters the bedroom wearing her karate uniform and finds Stephanie and Harry acting like they're dying – on her bed.]
D.J.: Freeze, nerd-bombers! [She forces them off with her hand movements, as she says...] Up, up, up, up! [She then points to each of them.] You better keep away from my stuff. I just got back from karate class, and I'm pumped [makes a few punches along with the traditional shouts].
Stephanie: You're just jealous because I have a boyfriend and you don't.
D.J.: You're dreaming. You don't have a boyfriend.
Stephanie: It so happens I do.
Stephanie: [points to Harry] Him.
Harry: [pointing to himself] Me?
Stephanie: You're a boy. You're my friend. That makes you my boyfriend.
Stephanie: Daddy! Look what D.J. did [as she comes down the stairs dragging her shoes that are all tied together].
D.J.: [following her] I did it for your own good.
Stephanie: Boy, are you gonna get it. [She turns to Danny.] OK, daddy. Ready? On your mark, get set, punish [points to D.J.].
D.J.: Dad, she's always messing with my stuff. I had to teach her a lesson.
Danny: I'll take it from here, OK? Stephanie, honey, you know that we need to treat each other's property with respect. And D.J., in this family, we do not tie together each other's shoes... unless there's some kind of weird emergency.
[They start to walk away.]
Danny: Red light [they stop]. What's our rule after we fight?
D.J. & Stephanie: Never walk away angry.
Danny: Very good. Now, go ahead and apologize.
D.J. & Stephanie: [not looking at each other] Sorry.
Danny: Now, D.J., help Stephanie untie her shoes.
[Repeated lines throughout D.J. and Stephanie's and Jesse and Joey's fights:]
D.J.: No, I don't [...have to help untie Stephanie's shoes].
Stephanie: Yes, you do.
Joey: No, I didn't [...wear a cat suit]!
Jesse: Yes, you did!
[In the kitchen...]
Joey: Why do I get all the blame for this, huh? They said, 'Thank you, but we're going another way.'
Jesse: Which is advertising lingo for: 'Put your puppet where the sun don't shine.'
Joey: I took a risk. I dared to be silly.
Jesse: Why didn't you tell me before you dared to be silly?! Man, you promised me.
Joey: I kept my promise. I did not wear a catsuit.
Jesse: You wore a catsuit on your hand! And you stabbed me in the back with it.
Joey: Jess, this is not that big a deal. You're not really mad at me. There's something else bothering you. So, what is your problem really?
Jesse: My problem is I'm living in the same house with you.
Joey: And what's that supposed to mean?
Jesse: Maybe we don't need three fathers. Haven't you ever seen My Two Dads? Two is all you need.
Joey: All right. Fine with me.
Jesse: Fine with me!
[They head to each of their rooms, but have trouble opening the toddler gates to the stairways... then they step over them.]
The episode title is a take on the Christmas song "Jingle Bells".
An outtake from the episode shows John Stamos mistakenly saying "Haven't you seen that show 'My Three Dads'? (instead of My Two Dads), then Dave Coulier says, "Yeah, it's called Full House, you dip---!" (joking – and the studio audience knows that and laughs).