|Season 7, Episode 18|
|Air Date||February 15, 1994|
|Previous||The Last Dance|
|Next||Love on the Rocks|
Jesse has returned home from Greece, where he attended Papouli's funeral, and Jesse has brought his cousin Stavros home with him. What Jesse doesn't know is that Stavros is a womanizing con artist.
Stavros swindles Joey out of a watch and $20, makes a pass at Becky, gets Danny a $65 ticket for parking next to a fire hydrant, and also makes D.J. pay for an awful-smelling goat pizza that Stavros had the money for all along. Initially everyone decides to tough it out, as Stavros will be returning to Greece in a few days. However, Jesse, unaware of what's going on, announces that Stavros may be moving in with them. When everyone tries to tell Jesse what kind of man Stavros is, Jesse refuses to believe them. Stavros overhears that meeting.
Then Stavros prepares to go home, because he says that the village of Polopolis was ruined by a severe mudslide. Without Jesse knowing it, Stavros gives everyone back the watch and money he swindled them for, and apologizes to Becky.
The Smash Club is the setting for Stavros's latest (and last) scam, and he is raising money at the Smash Club for Polopolis's recovery from the mudslide. Becky and the girls discover that there was no mudslide, and that Stavros plans to take the money -- and Becky -- on an airplane flight to Orlando, Florida with him that night.
Becky comes up with a plan that proves to Jesse that Stavros is a con artist. Jesse tells Stavros that he trusted him. Stavros says "Oh, look at you. All I'm hearing in Greece is about Jesse in America. How wonderful job is, beautiful wife, perfect family."
Jesse says that maybe he does have all that, but he didn't get it by stealing. Jesse says he worked for it, and that maybe that's something Stavros should try. Stavros insists that he did try working very hard, adding that it was the worst day of his life. Jesse says "You hurt me, Stavros. You may be family, but you're out of here."
Danny and Joey escort Stavros out of the Smash Club, and then Jesse apologizes to the family for refusing to believe them. They understand that sometimes it's hard to believe the truth about a loved one, and that's why Jesse refused to believe them in the first place. Jesse wants to return everybody's money, but D.J. suggests that they give the donated money to a local children's hospital, which everybody agrees to.
- John Stamos plays a dual role as both Jesse and Stavros
- The only appearance of cousin Stavros
- "Kissing Cousins" is also the name of an Elvis movie released in 1964 (Jesse is a big Elvis fan)
Stavros: (pretends to wipe tears off his face) Beautiful.
Becky: Well, it's just a carrot.
Stavros: (to Becky) Anyone ever tell you you carve vegetables like.... Greek goddess?
Becky: No, not recently.
D.J.: Aunt Becky, you might be interested in this. Stavros is flying to Orlando tonight.
Becky: Oh, no. I bet this whole mudslide thing is just another one of his scams. By tomorrow, he's gonna be cruising the Magic Kingdom trying to get Tinker Bell's phone number.
Jesse: Stavros, how could you do this to me? To my family? I trusted you, man. I looked up to you.
Stavros: Oh, look at you. All I'm hearing in Greece is about Jesse in America. How wonderful job is, beautiful wife, perfect family.
Jesse: All right, maybe I do have all that. But I didn't get it by stealing--I worked for it. Maybe that's something you should try.
Stavros: I did try. I worked very, very hard. Worst day of my life.
Jesse: You hurt me, Stavros. You may be family, but you're out of here.
Jesse: Oh, I'm sorry, Beck. I should've listened to you about Stavros.
Becky: Well, when you care about someone, sometimes it's hard to see the truth.