|Little Shop of Sweaters|
|Season 2, episode 14|
|Air date||February 10, 1989|
In the kitchen, Jesse and Michelle are each eating a bowl of fruit cocktail. Jesse is eating his with a fork and spoon, but Michelle, like most babies, is eating with her hands. Jesse reminds her that some day she's gonna be eating at the White House with the President, and it wouldn't make for good manners to eat with her hands in front of the President (or First Lady, Vice President, etc.). Then, she picks up the spoon with one hand, but she still eats with the other hand. So he tells her, "OK, young lady, but you're on your own when the soup comes!" This makes Michelle realize that soup is meant to be eaten with a spoon, not the hands (as soup is a liquid food instead of a solid). She tries again to eat with her hands without being caught; unfortunately, Jesse catches her in the act and tickles her.
On Valentine's Day, everyone is celebrating in different ways.
Stephanie is busy making valentines for school (with Michelle licking the envelopes), and Jesse has gotten Becky some earrings (though Joey thought those were his, as he can't wait to get his ears pierced).
Danny has gifts of his own for his girls, who do the "triple-leg 'pretty please' hug" (D.J. & Danny, Stephanie & Joey, and Michelle & Jesse) to get them: Stephanie a gold heart locket, D.J. a pair of royal blue socks, and Michelle a sweatshirt with colored hearts.
Meanwhile, Danny has also bought D.J. the royal blue sweater that she wanted (to match the socks), though she was anxious to get it during the after-Christmas sale(s). She puts it on and goes to school. At recess, she removes it so she won't get it all sweaty, but after she puts it on the ground, the school gardener runs over it with a lawnmower, and it is shredded.
Later that day, after she sorts all the valentines she received at school (as Mr. Bear "looks on"), Stephanie asks about the sweater, and her roommate shows her the evidence, piece by piece (and each and every piece elicits a groan from the audience that gets longer and louder, judging by each piece's size).
D.J. does not want Danny to know about this, so she and Stephanie go to the mall to buy a replacement sweater, which is priced at $80, and unfortunately, per the sales clerk, won't be going on sale anytime soon during the day. Luckily, Kimmy concocts a scheme with D.J. to help her. She gives her $11.80, which combined with $27 in D.J.'s "I-gotta-get-a-car-the-day-I-turn-16 fund", and an additional $5 from Kimmy, adds up to $43.80. Stephanie decides to add in her piggy bank money, which is "three hundred and twenty-two pennies in cash", which translates to $3.22. The total comes to $47.02, which unfortunately leaves them $32.98 short.
Stephanie sees a sign on the checkout counter that says "Buy now, Pay later". Not realizing that a credit card is required to do so, and being too young to understand how a credit card even works, she grabs the sweater in an effort to help D.J., but this gets her accused of shoplifting. She tells D.J. the whole story, and D.J. decides to wear the sweater (provided that they hide all the evidence) while they go out for dinner with Danny.
The next morning, the girls go back to the mall to return the sweater, but the clerk catches them upon the sound of the alarm and calls Danny, Jesse, and Joey. Even D.J. points out that Stephanie misunderstood the "Buy now, pay later" part of the sign by noting that Stephanie thinks that she could buy the sweater one day, and then pay the next time they return. The store does not press charges on the girls, and Danny tells them that they're very lucky. With that out of the way, Danny decides to buy Michelle a hat and pay cash for it.
Later, Danny decides that if they can't have the replacement sweater, they will just have to fix D.J.'s ruined sweater – which ironically, was priced at... $80!
The roommates, having learned their lessons, give their "sisters forever" promise and hug (bringing a reaction of "aw" from the studio audience). Stephanie says that she can play with D.J.'s toys and borrow her CDs or clothes anytime she wants, and D.J. says there is no chance of that happening because of the two rules from the series premiere; but Stephanie says that that was a good time to ask if she could do so, and D.J. allows her to either play with one toy or borrow one CD or piece of clothing, so Stephanie walks over to the closet to make her choice (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
Danny: [walks into the kitchen] Happy Valentine’s Day, girls!
D.J.: All right, Dad, Fashion Central. You got my royal blue sweater!
Danny: [tries to play it nonchalant] I don’t know anything about a royal blue sweater. [to Jesse and Joey] Guys, you know anything about a royal blue sweater?
Joey: Nup, nuh-uh.
Jesse: No way.
D.J.: Yes, you do. I started hinting for it the day after Christmas.
D.J.: Now, all I have to do is get this little plastic alarm thingy off. [She struggles.] It won't come off [not possible to remove it by hand, without an in-store device].
[In their bedroom, the girls are having a talk with their father about what happened at the mall.]
Danny: You guys are very lucky that nobody is pressing charges.
Stephanie: You're not kidding. They almost sent me up the stream.
D.J.: That's up the river.
Stephanie: Hey, I'm new at this.
Danny: Girls, I really like that you tried to help each other but why didn't you come to me when you were in trouble?
D.J.: Because I thought I could handle things on my own.
Danny: D.J., you always think that, but to be honest, you're better at getting into trouble than getting out of it.
D.J.: Well, is there any way to practice getting out without getting in?
Danny: Well, no. But once you get in, you have to come to me or Uncle Jesse or Joey and let us help you. Because no matter what happens, we're always on your side.
D.J.: Thanks, Dad.
Danny: I love you.
Stephanie: Yeah, thanks, Daddy. Maybe you can help us fix D.J.'s sweater.
Danny: I'll sure give it a try. This was an $80 sweater. But what's really important here is that we all learned a good lesson. [He leaves, and outside we hear him exclaim...] Eighty dollars!
The episode title is a take on the title to the musical Little Shop of Horrors (play and films).