|Little Shop of Sweaters|
|Season 2, episode 14|
|Air date||February 10, 1989|
In the kitchen, Jesse and Michelle are each eating a bowl of fruit cocktail. Jesse is eating his with a fork and spoon, but Michelle, like most babies, is eating with her hands. Jesse reminds her that some day she's gonna be eating at the White House with the President, and it wouldn't make for good manners to eat with her hands in front of the President (or First Lady, Vice President, etc.). Then, she picks up the spoon with one hand, but she still eats with the other hand. So he tells her, "OK, young lady, but you're on your own when the soup comes!" This makes Michelle realize that soup is meant to be eaten with a spoon, not the hands (as soup is a liquid food instead of a solid). She tries again to eat with her hands without being caught; unfortunately, Jesse catches her in the act and tickles her.
It's Valentine's Day, and Danny has bought D.J. the royal blue sweater that she wanted, though she was anxious to get it during the after-Christmas sale(s). D.J. puts it on and goes to school. At recess, she removes it so she won't get it all sweaty, but after she puts it on the ground, the school gardener runs over it with a lawnmower, and it is shredded.
Later that day, after she sorts all the valentines she received at school (as Mr. Bear "looks on"), Stephanie asks about the sweater, and her roommate shows her the evidence, piece by piece, and each and every piece elicits a groan from the audience that gets longer and louder with each piece.
D.J. doesn't want Danny to know about this, so she and Stephanie go to the mall to buy a replacement sweater, which is priced at $80, and unfortunately, per the sales clerk, won't be going on sale anytime soon during the day. Luckily, Kimmy concocts a scheme with D.J. to help her. She gives her $11.80, which combined with $27 in D.J.'s "I gotta get a car the day I turn 16 fund", and an additional $5 from Kimmy, adds up to $43.80. Stephanie decides to add in her piggy bank money, which is "three hundred and twenty-two pennies in cash", which translates to $3.22. The total comes to $47.02, which, unfortunately, leaves them $32.98 short.
Stephanie sees a sign on the checkout counter that says "Buy now, Pay later". Not realizing that a credit card is required to do so, and being too young to understand how a credit card even works, she grabs the sweater in an effort to help D.J., but this gets her accused of shoplifting. She tells D.J. the whole story, and D.J. decides to wear the sweater (provided that they hide all the evidence) while they go out for dinner with Danny.
The next morning, the girls go back to the mall to return the sweater, but the clerk catches them upon the sound of the alarm, and calls Danny, Jesse, and Joey. The store does not press charges on the girls, and Danny tells them that they're very lucky. With that out of the way, Danny decides to buy Michelle a hat and pay cash for it.
Later, Danny decides that if they can't have the replacement sweater, they will just have to fix D.J.'s ruined sweater...which ironically, was priced at...$80!
The roommates, having learned their lessons, give their "sisters forever" promise and hug (bringing a reaction of "aw" from the studio audience). Stephanie says that she can play with D.J.'s toys and borrow her CDs or clothes anytime she wants, and D.J. says there is no chance of that happening because of the two rules from the series premiere; but Stephanie says that that was a good time to ask if she could do so, and D.J. allows her to either play with one toy or borrow one CD or piece of clothing, so Stephanie walks over to the closet to make her choice (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
Danny: [walks into the kitchen] Happy Valentine’s Day, girls!
D.J.: All right, Dad, Fashion Central. You got my royal blue sweater!
Danny: [tries to play it nonchalant] I don’t know anything about a royal blue sweater. [to Jesse and Joey] Guys, you know anything about a royal blue sweater?
Joey: Nup, nuh-uh.
Jesse: No way.
D.J.: Yes, you do. I started hinting for it the day after Christmas.
[Upstairs in their room, Stephanie goes through all the valentines she got from her classmates – as Mr. Bear "looks on".]
Stephanie: And, Mr. Bear, this one's from Jason Fleming. And this one's from Jason Greenblatt. And this one's from Jason Yamagato. And this one's from Wendell Berman. [Just as she finishes examining that last valentine, her sister comes home and is not a very happy camper.] D.J., what's wrong?
D.J.: Don't ask.
Stephanie: It's too late. I already asked. Hey, where’s your new sweater?
D.J.: [pulls parts of her now ruined sweater out of her backpack one piece at a time] Right here… and here… and here.
Stephanie: What happened? Did it blow up?
D.J.: I was so stupid! I was playing soccer at recess, and I took my sweater off so it wouldn’t get all sweaty. Next thing I know, the gardener drives his stupid lawnmower right over my sweater.
Stephanie: Daddy is going to freak out.
D.J.: Not if my plan works.
Kimmy: Have no fear. Kimmy Gibbler's here.
Stephanie: If she's part of your plan, you need a new plan.
D.J.: No, I need a new sweater. My plan is to go back to the store and buy one.
Kimmy: Here's $11.80. It's all the money I have.
D.J.: Kimmy, you're the best friend in the whole world.
Kimmy: Okay, here's the other $5.
D.J.: Well, I have $27 in my "I gotta get a car the day I turn 16" fund.
Stephanie: You can have all the money in my piggy bank too.
Stephanie: Just turn around and shut your eyes. It's in my secret hiding place.
D.J.: Steph, we're in a hurry. Just get it out of the toy chest and let's go.
Stephanie: That's the old secret hiding place. I don't keep it there anymore. Just turn around and shut your eyes.
[D.J. and Kimmy do just that, and the piggy bank's new secret hiding place turns out to be...the toy chest. She then fools them by opening and then closing one of the drawers on her chest, and then shows them her piggy bank.]
[As they get home, Danny and the girls head upstairs to their room to have a little chat.]
Danny: You guys are very lucky that nobody is pressing charges.
Stephanie: You're not kidding. They almost sent me up the stream.
D.J.: That's up the river.
Stephanie: Hey, I'm new at this.
Danny: Girls, I really like that you tried to help each other. [turns to D.J.] But why didn’t you just come to me when you were in trouble?
D.J.: Because I thought I could handle things on my own.
Danny: D.J., you always think that. But to be honest, you’re much better at getting into trouble than you are getting out of it.
D.J.: Well, is there any way to practice getting out without getting in?
Danny: Well… no. But once you get in, you have to come to me, or Uncle Jesse, or Joey and let us help you. Because no matter what happens, we’re always on your side.
D.J.: Thanks, Dad. [She hugs Danny.]
Danny: I love you.
Stephanie: Yeah, thanks, Daddy. [She hugs him as he kisses her] Maybe you can help us fix D.J.'s sweater.
Danny: I'll sure give it a try. [Stephanie pulls the ruined sweater out from under the covers of D.J.'s bed, shocking Danny.] This was an $80 sweater. But what's really important here is that we all learned a good lesson. [He takes the sweater with him, and on the way out, closes the door. Suddenly, from outside in the hall, we hear...] Eighty dollars?!
D.J.: Well, you little chicken wing- thanks for trying to help me.
Stephanie: Hey, you're my sister and you were in trouble. Somebody had to do something.
D.J.: I want you to know if you're ever in trouble, you can always count on me.
Stephanie: Thanks. Sisters forever?
D.J.: Sisters forever. [They hug.]
Stephanie: Does this mean I can play with your toys and borrow your CDs and clothes anytime I want?
D.J.: Not a chance.
Stephanie: Hey, there was never gonna be a better time to ask.
D.J.: Okay, one thing.
The episode title is a reference to the musical Little Shop of Horrors.