|Season 1, episode 21|
|Air date||April 29, 1988|
|Previous||The Seven-Month Itch (Part 2)|
|Next||D.J. Tanner's Day Off|
Then, Jesse enters the house holding a blue gym bag. It seems he's keeping some secrets from the family, as he won't reveal what's in the bag.
After that, Joey enters the house saying he loves everyone (in order: Jesse, Danny, D.J., Michelle, and Stephanie). He also has some really good news: his mother has found an old $5,000 savings bond in her safe deposit box, and the savings bond has Joey's name on it, and that impresses the family. When Joey receives the money, he starts spending it left and right.
At the same time that Stephanie's trying out her new bike (see Quotes), Jesse and Danny are anxious to know what gifts they'll get. Jesse's hoping for a new motorcycle, while Danny already knows what he'll get from Joey: $800 in cash. He explains that he's trying to collect an 11-year-old debt from Joey: on March 12, 1977, in Palm Springs, Joey's car broke down yet again, and Danny lent Joey his last $800 (in cash) to get the car fixed, and now that Joey has come into enough money, Danny asks Joey to fork over $800 of it in order to cover the debt, leading to a feud between Danny and Joey. Jesse points out Danny should get the money while he still can, but Danny says he doesn't want the money. The fact that Joey's paying him back is a beautiful and touching gesture that he decides to give the $800 right back to Joey. Jesse, however, thinks that's the most generous and stupid thing he's ever heard in his life (generous that Danny's giving the $800 back to Joey because the debt's been paid, and stupid that he would even do such a thing like that).
Back in the living room, D.J. is still curious about what's in Jesse's bag. So much so, she tricks Michelle by dropping a cookie into the bag and having her find it, to which both girls are caught. Jesse says Michelle's "punishment" is to give her one kiss, and that's exactly what happens.
Then, Joey does indeed have presents for Jesse and Danny as well: They each get a lifetime pass to the Great American Amusement Park. He then reveals to Danny that he bought a 1964 Gumby & Pokey pinball machine for $1,275 of the $5,000 he has. Danny, as usual, is still not happy that Joey doesn't know how to use his money wisely. He asks Joey to invest that $800 in cold hard cash. And Joey says he will invest it...in getting Danny off his back!
Meanwhile, Jesse is working as an Elvis impersonator in order to make some extra money which is so that he and the Rippers will be able to record a demo, but he does not want the family to know. Of course, when they do eventually find out as they enter his room, they ask him what he's wearing under his bathrobe. And when they find out it's obviously an Elvis costume, they support him anyway, and they decide that he should have the money for his demo tape and everything else for the gig. When Joey comes into the room and sees Jesse in his Elvis costume, he laughs his head off as he leaves.
The family goes out to see the show that night, which starts out with a Marilyn Monroe impersonator (which D.J. mistakes for Madonna), with Jesse's Elvis act following, which elicits applause from the crowd (and the studio audience).
That night, the girls do their own Elvis impersonations as they sing "Heartbreak Hotel" the minute they get home and appropriately cap it off with the trademark "Thank you, thank you very much" quote, with their impersonations eliciting applause from the family (and the audience). Danny sends the "junior Elvi" upstairs to bed, with D.J. remarking, "Elvis has left the living room!" as she and Stephanie head on up to get their shuteye. As usual, the fight over who deserves Joey's cash continues... until Jesse and Marilyn enter the house, with Jesse introducing Danny as Larry, Joey as Moe, and Michelle as Curly (as in The Three Stooges). Jesse gives them the good news that he will keep the Elvis gig for as long as he wants, or as Elvis says, "until I dislocate my hips". Everyone congratulates him, including Marilyn, who kisses him, leaving lipstick on his cheek. As she leaves, she tells him to call her, before giving him another kiss on her way out (which elicits a "WHOO!" from the audience).
The next day, Joey tries to make a ham and cheese sandwich, but Danny doesn't think he's making one maturely. He says that a clean knife should be used. The reason is obvious: he sees Joey "washing" the knife he was just using in plain water only, then wiping it on his pants (eliciting an "Eww!" from the audience, in addition to the laughter). He teaches Joey to use a clean knife each time he spreads mayo and mustard on each slice of bread and alternate when doing so, and then alternate between ham and cheese. In any event, Danny makes two sandwiches: one for him and one for Joey. Joey insists that Danny is the most predictable person he has ever met. He knows what Danny's going to do before he does it. Of course, what he didn't predict was Danny calling him out for still watching cartoons at the tender age of 30, despite the fact that that's what led to him being a comedian in the first place. So Joey comes up with the most appropriate comeback ever, using a classic proverb: "Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but names will never hurt me."
And of course, Joey is still scared to take back the money. Danny calls him for being such a baby, and Joey digs into his "comeback bag" again by imitating Pee-Wee Herman and saying, "I know you are, but what am I?" And so they decide to settle this dispute just like when they were kids back on June 22, 1979, and arm-wrestle; loser keeps the cash. But before they can do so, Jesse still isn't sure he should take the gig, and they decide he should do it for both money and fun.
Danny and Joey reminisce on their friendship (as the inspirational music plays) and realize that it is their differences that keep them together. Joey realizes Danny was there for the money, and Danny realizes Joey was there to help raise the girls. And in the end, the situation between Danny and Joey is also resolved as well. Joey asks Danny to take the money, and Danny does. Danny takes it a step further and decides to use that $800 in cold hard cash to get Joey a closet organizer and a savings bond of his own. Joey disagrees with that, and the argument over what Danny should get Joey with that money continues (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
[In the kitchen, Stephanie is riding her new bike non-stop.]
Joey: Come on, we'll try it out in the backyard.
Stephanie: I can't stop, open the door.
[He does, and she safely goes outside, because she almost hits the staircase on her way out. In any case, she is able to safely make it outside, as Joey closes the door.]
Joey: Okay, guys, don't go away. You got presents coming too.
Jesse: All right! Thank you. I'm through with that. Thanks. Man, I hope Joey gets me a new motorcycle. That would be cool.
Danny: I already know what Joey's getting me.
Jesse: What's that?
Danny: Eight hundred dollars in cash.
Jesse: Whoa, nice chunk of change. Why?
Danny: Well, 11 years ago, I loaned Joey $800 to fix his car. But he hasn't had the money to pay me back until now.
Jesse: Better get it fast.
Danny: I don't want Joey's money. The fact that he's finally paying me back is such a beautiful and touching gesture. That's why I'm gonna give the $800 right back to him.
Jesse: That's the most generous, stupid thing I've heard in my life.
This is the first episode to deal with money management.
The songs that Jesse sings as an Elvis impersonator are: