Matchmaker Michelle
Season 5, episode 2
Matchmaker michelle
Air date September 24, 1991
Writer(s) Ellen Guylas
Director Joel Zwick
Previous Double Trouble
Next Take My Sister, Please

Matchmaker Michelle is episode two in season five of Full House. It originally aired on September 24, 1991.

Opening Teaser

Michelle tries to get D.J. to watch cartoons with her on Saturday morning, and D.J. opts to do what most (if not all) high school students do on weekends: sleep in. Michelle then asks D.J. why she is talking if she's sleeping, to which D.J. can only muster out, "I'm talking in my sleep. Goodnight", and then sandwiches her head between her two pillows. Seeing that it does not help, Michelle then decides to do a round of the Road Runner's "meep-meeps" to (try to) get her point across, but when she tries to start a second round, D.J. stops her "Looney Tune-d" sister and tells her to "cut the meeping", and she also explains to Michelle that when someone reaches a certain age they are just too mature to waste their Saturday mornings doing that, case in point that she is too old to do that. That is when Joey comes into the room and asks Michelle to watch Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner with him, which they do, as Joey emphasizes Wile E. Coyote walking off a cliff, standing in midair, and looking down as he (unknowingly) takes a long fall with a loud crash (one of the many gags in the cartoons). They excitedly "meep-meep" their way out of D.J.'s room, and about a second later, a still-exhausted D.J. groans out the "meep-meep"s as she joins them downstairs.


While playing "house", Michelle's friend Teddy questions why she always chooses to be the daddy. They give each other points about each role, and that makes her realize that she does not know what it is like to have a mother, and she says that she needs one (much to the groans of the studio audience).

After having a talk with Becky, Michelle decides that in order to have a mother, she must find a woman for Danny and they must fall in love and kiss. Michelle believes that her teacher, Miss Wiltrout, is exactly the woman she is looking for. Michelle is secure in the belief that Danny will do the right thing and marry Miss Wiltrout, who is approximately twice his age. But when Danny tells her that they are just friends, what feels like happiness for her turns into instant sadness as she goes upstairs to her room, leaving him and Miss Wiltrout shocked and speechless, and in more ways than one (as the audience groans over what just happened).

When Danny learns what is going on, he has a talk with Michelle, and he understands where she is coming from. She tells him the obvious, that all her classmates have mothers, and she does not. Danny explains that she had a wonderful mom too, and that she loved Michelle very, very much; despite Michelle being unable to remember all that. He explains that every family is different, and they are no exception after Pam's death; above all, he explains that what makes a family is that they love and care for each other. And this family is no exception, as she has him, Jesse, Joey, and Becky to take care of her, and despite them being her older sisters and attending school just like her, D.J. and Stephanie also love her and take care of her, too. Danny reminds Michelle that he loves her, and she loves him. They hug and then head downstairs to have lunch with Miss Wiltrout (as the audience applauds).

Meanwhile, when a record label tells Jesse that the band's image is too soft, Jesse and Joey work together to try to come up with a tougher image for the band (as they were in advertising together the past 4 seasons). It starts in disaster when Joey tries a wig on Jesse's head that he rejects but obviously elicits laughter from the audience nonetheless, and ends in disaster during a performance when Jesse finds himself hovering above the stage, hanging from a cable that got stuck when it was trying to lower him to the stage. Becky and Danny are there to see it, and are happy with the performance, with Danny pulling out a lighter and flicking it like any excited fan would. The next day, Jesse and Joey argue about the fiasco, and Joey says the disaster was not his fault, and that the firemen were happy to get Jesse down safely.

Also, D.J. is writing an essay for school, and it is titled "What It's Like to Be Someone Else." For this essay, D.J. switches places with Kimmy Gibbler for two days and wears Kimmy's clothes for a change. She even uses Kimmy's attitude, greeting Kimmy with "Hola, amiga!", calling Stephanie "squirt", and addressing Danny as, well, "Mr. T", to which Danny remarks that he wants his "little girl" back. But they decide to go with the experiment anyway, and Kimmy remarks that she doesn't do housework, homework, or anything with "work" in the word. (That, of course, would include, well, "yardwork", "schoolwork", etc.)

While she is away, however, Kimmy drives Danny and Stephanie up the wall. On her first day, Kimmy asks Stephanie to go get her a doughnut, and while Stephanie would normally attend to her sister by getting requested food and drink, she decides to treat Kimmy as the guest--er--pest that she is, and asks her to go get a doughnut herself.

Guest star

Miss Wiltrout was played by June Lockhart, who is known for playing the mother in the TV series, Lassie and Lost in Space. Like John Stamos, Lockhart was a regular on General Hospital.


[In the teaser, we see Michelle excitedly entering D.J. and Stephanie's room, but only D.J. is seen. In fact, she is sleeping on the other end of her bed.]
Michelle: D.J., D.J., D.J., wake up!
D.J.: It's Saturday morning. I'm sleeping.
Michelle: Then why are you talking?
D.J.: I'm talking in my sleep. Goodnight.
Michelle: You're missing Road Runner cartoons! Meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep--
[At which point, D.J. puts her hand out and stops her before she continue...]
D.J.: Whoa, Looney Tune! Hey, cut the meeping. Michelle, when you reach a certain age, you're just too mature to waste your Saturday mornings watching cartoons.
[Then suddenly, Joey enters.]
Joey: Michelle, quick! You're missing the Road Runner! Wile E. Coyote just ran off a cliff and he's standing in midair. Now, come on, let's go! Because as soon as he looks down, it's gonna be: [imitates Wile E. Coyote's long fall to the ground and subsequent crash, like always]
Michelle: How come he's not falling when he looks down?
Joey: Because that's how cartoon gravity works. Now, come on, let's go! [He grabs Michelle by the hand and takes her downstairs, and together, they...]
Both: Meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep--
D.J. [as she struggles to get out of bed] Oh well, I'm up. [then slowly, as she's still exhausted] Meep-meep, meep-meep. [She too makes her way downstairs to join them.]

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