|Misadventures in Babysitting|
|Season 3, episode 14|
|Air date||January 12, 1990|
|Writer(s)||Shari Scharfer & Julie Strassman|
|Previous||No More Mr. Dumb Guy|
|Next||Lust in the Dust|
In the living room, Joey shows a sunglasses-wearing Michelle a sunglasses-wearing plant that dances to music, and she responds, "No way, José!". To demonstrate, he turns on his boombox, and the plant starts dancing. Michelle brings a potted plant over to join the dancing plant, but it being a potted plant and all, it's stationary. She tells the plant, "Hey you, wake up!", and Joey replies, "I think he's a wallflower", but he makes it dance, nonetheless.
D.J. wants her own phone, because having only one phone in a house with five other people is driving her crazy. She is willing to pay for the new phone number herself, but she needs a way to earn money, so she takes a job babysitting Brian Kagan, a little terror who really takes a toll on her. He tries everything he can to get his way, from tossing a vase until it hits the floor and smashes and then pinning the blame on D.J. (who actually catches it before it can hit the floor and smash), to stealing her purse and threatening to drop it in the fish tank (unless she gives him half her pay to be his friend and shaves her head), until Kimmy Gibbler arrives to help out. She threatens to kiss him unless he drops the purse, so he has no choice but to do so. He then runs upstairs threatening that both girls haven't seen the last of him, with D.J. asking Kimmy why she didn't tell her beforehand that they'd be babysitting a "baby Godzilla".
With D.J. out babysitting, Stephanie is put in charge of babysitting Michelle at home. All attempts fail, including tempting Michelle with playing "Sleeping Beauty" (a possible reference to the ballet and/or Disney film) and giving her a cookie if she behaves (not knowing Michelle already had one with her).
The guys are having a poker game in the kitchen, and Becky and Jesse can't agree on where to spend Christmas. Jesse wants to spend Christmas at Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee, where his idol, Elvis Presley, lived, but Rebecca wants she and Jesse to spend Christmas in Nebraska with her family. They compromise, and decide to spend Christmas in Rebecca's hometown, and New Year's in Memphis.
Meanwhile, Brian, squirting off his water gun in a last-ditch effort to thwart off his enemies, ends up getting his head stuck in the railing of the stairs in his house, and D.J. and Kimmy butter his head in an effort to get him out, but it fails. Danny leaves the poker game when D.J. calls him about it. He arrives just in the nick of time, helps get Brian's head out of the railing, and decides to let D.J. have her own phone line because she did the right thing by calling Danny for help when she needed it, instead of trying to handle the situation on her own, like she has in the past.
Danny: Jess, I've been a pretty regular guy tonight, wouldn't you say?
Jesse: Yes. Actually, I'm quite proud of you.
Danny: In that case, there's something I'd like to say before I leave. (turns to Steve) You, sir, are a chimney! Not only are you ruining your own health, you are ruining the health of innocent people all around you. (turns to Paul) And you, sir? You should take a drive through a car wash without your car.
Danny: Brian, sticking your head through these railings was a very dangerous thing to do. I'm gonna have you out in a minute, okay? So don't move.
Brian: Where am I going?
D.J.: I'm sorry, Dad. I really blew it. I guess I'm not ready for babysitting... or my own phone... or anything.
Danny: It so happens I'm very proud of you.
D.J.: (surprised) You are?
Brian: (also surprised) You are?
Danny: Yeah. D.J., sometimes when you've been in trouble before, you've tried to handle the situation yourself and you ended up making things worse. But tonight, you showed good judgement and you asked for help right away. That's exactly what a good babysitter would do.