|My Left Foot and Right Foot|
|Season 8, episode 15|
|Air date||January 31, 1995|
|Previous||Super Bowl Fun Day|
When Michelle goes to get new shoes during a trip to the mall with her sisters, she is pleased when the salesman tells her that she has healthy feet. However, she grows worried, to the point of having an extreme nightmare, after being teased by D.J., Stephanie, and Kimmy Gibbler when they tell her that her feet will grow at an alarming rate; examples of this include D.J. telling her that after high school she'll be able to water-ski without skis, and Stephanie comparing Michelle's toes to the "little piggies going to market and stopping off at Sizzler on the way home" and even asking the salesman if there's a larger size version of an extremely large shoe she picked out for Michelle.
In Michelle's nightmare, she dreams that she has to go to clown school and that her feet won't stop growing, which alarms her. Joey insists that the family tickle Michelle's feet to keep them from growing larger. When the nightmare ends, she finds that her feet are giant again and starts screaming. Stephanie wakes her up and Michelle insists that her feet are still giant, but in reality they aren't; as Stephanie explains she was just eating cookies in bed. She assures her sister that she's fine, but Michelle insists she's not and is "a big foot freak".
Later, Danny explains to D.J. and Stephanie that teasing is not only hurtful, but it can blow things out of proportion for a little kid. D.J. and Stephanie apologize to Michelle. Danny explains how he was called "freckle-shins" because when he grew, his pants did not; so there was a huge gap between the socks and the bottom of the pants. Then Joey says that he was called "tow-head" (thinking it was "toe-head") as he says his head was shaped like a toe. To which Danny explains that "tow-headed" is an expression describing kids with blond hair, something the girls are also able to relate to.
Also, when everyone finds out that Michelle has been using shrink-wrap and a bucket of ice water in an effort to shrink her feet (per her friend Lisa's advice), D.J. and Stephanie are the first to discover this and are completely shocked. D.J. asks Michelle if she is making a "bunion Slurpee" and asks her to get out, but Michelle insists she is not done soaking her feet, to which D.J. decides she is done. Against Michelle's wishes and out of concern for their younger sister's safety and health, she and Stephanie immediately get Michelle out of her frigid foot bath, keep a tight grip on her to stop her from getting back in, and insist that if she continues, instead of shrinking her feet, she will freeze her feet off, or even make bunions grow and cause permanent damage (with no mention of frostbite). When Joey and Danny enter the room, Joey puts some of the ice in a glass of sarsaparilla and takes a sip, and when Stephanie mentions to Danny what Michelle was doing, this causes him to spit out his drink. Then everyone explains to her that growing is a natural thing, especially when it comes to wearing shoes.
Meanwhile, Jesse is shocked when Becky takes it upon herself to sing Nicky and Alex asleep. It was a ritual formed by Danny, Joey, and Jesse for Michelle, and now they are doing it for the twins. However, Becky cannot sing, so Jesse takes it upon himself to coach her when Danny and Joey express annoyance at her impeding on their fun. Becky is shocked when Jesse comes out with the truth, and Jesse learns something when he notices the twins asking her to sing to them.
Jesse: All right, boys. It's time to go to sleep. But first, we got a special treat for you.
Danny: Guys, we used to do this for Michelle when she was your age.
Joey: And the tradition continues. Lullabies: the next generation.
Jesse: All right, gentlemen. Start your vocal chords. [singing] Hello.
Jesse, Joey & Danny: [harmonizing] Hello.
[In Stephanie and Michelle's room, Michelle is soaking her shrink-wrapped feet in a bucket of ice water as Lisa watches.]
Michelle: [shivering] Are they s-s-s-s-smaller?
Lisa: No, but they're bluer.
[D.J. and Stephanie walk in on Michelle's frigid foot bath and are completely shocked at what they see.]
D.J.: Michelle, what are you doing?
Stephanie: That's ice water.
Michelle: [shivering] D-d-d-d-duh.
D.J.: What are you doing, making a bunion Slurpee? Get outta there.
Michelle: No, I'm not d-d-done.
[They all overlap each other, as the older sisters get her out of her frigid foot bath ASAP and keep a tight grip on her.]
D.J.: Yes, you are. [over Michelle's "No!"] You need to get--get outta there. No, Michelle.
Stephanie: Michelle, get out of there. [loudly] I can't believe you're gonna freeze your feet off!
D.J.: [loudly, as she points to Michelle's feet] Yeah! You're gonna freeze your feet off!
[Then Joey and Danny come in, hearing the commotion.]
Danny: [loudly] OK, OK, OK! [normal voice] Go to your neutral corners, please. [He separates them, and escorts Michelle over to her bed.]
Joey: Oh, that's where all the ice went. I'm over here having a nice warm sarsaparilla.
Stephanie: Dad, Michelle was soaking her feet in ice water. [That causes Joey to spit out his drink and Danny to look at him in disgust.]
Danny: Michelle, your feet are wrapped in plastic and there's a bucket of ice water on the floor. I can only guess what's been goin' on up here.
Michelle: I'm trying to shrink my feet.
Joey: Ooh! I would've been right.
- The episode title is a play on the 1989 film My Left Foot, which won two Academy Awards
- The name of the bedtime song is "House at Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins
- Considered by Candace Cameron Bure and Jodie Sweetin to be their favorite episode of the series
- Stephanie's best friend Gia Mahan (Marla Sokoloff), was conspicuous by her absence in this episode – one of Gia's favorite things to do was tease Michelle about being short, and a little kid
- The fifth episode to have the teaser tied to the main plot; the others being: "13 Candles" (season 3), "Greek Week" (season 4 premiere), "A Very Tanner Christmas" (season 6), and "Arrest Ye Merry Gentlemen"
- Kimmy calling Michelle "Pauleen Bunion" is a reference to Paul Bunyan
- D.J. asking Michelle if she is "making a bunion Slurpee" by soaking her feet in ice water is a reference to the 7-Eleven slushy drink
- In this episode, Becky cannot sing and Jesse gives her lessons, but in "Our Very First Telethon" (season 3), Danny and Becky do a duet and she could sing well
- The harmonizing the guys do in the first scene (see Quotes) is similar to when they dressed up like The Three Stooges in the opening teaser in "It's Not My Job" (season 2)