|Nerd for a Day|
|Season 3, episode 4|
|Air date||October 13, 1989|
|Previous||Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (in 22 Minutes)|
Michelle emerges from the kitchen to the living room riding her pedal car, which she says is "broken". Joey, who is reading as she passes him, decides to help "fix" it. She thanks him for doing it, but he reminds her to "pay up" – which she does with a kiss, and he gives her a kiss in return as her "change".
Succumbing to peer pressure, Stephanie joins her classmates in making fun of Walter Berman, a classmate who wears glasses. Jesse tells Stephanie that she must apologize, but the apology makes Walter think Stephanie loves him. When Stephanie's friends come over to the house and see Stephanie talking to Walter, they make Stephanie a target for teasing, until Stephanie turns the tables on them, and shows them how it feels to be teased. That changes their behavior. As soon as that is over with, Jesse decides to have a "little chat" with her (complete with the end-of-episode inspirational music).
Meanwhile, at school, D.J. has been assigned to follow and observe a person for a day, then write an essay about that person. D.J. chooses Michelle to be the subject for the essay, since everything she does is simple, from talking to her stuffed animals to flushing every toilet in the house, from having a nap on D.J's bed to stealing the paper that has D.J.'s report and runs out of the room, forcing D.J. to give chase. The chase then continues into Michelle's room, where D.J. runs so fast that she bumps her knee on Michelle's crib, and Michelle kisses the knee to make it feel better. The next day, D.J. gets an "A" on the report, and gives a high-five to her sister.
[Joey is reading in the living room. Michelle comes in from the kitchen in her pedal-car, and suddenly stops.]
Michelle: Car broken.
Joey: [getting up from his chair] Car broken? Okay, let's check it out.
[Joey presses Michelle's tummy and back.]
Michelle: [makes the noise of a car engine that won't start]
Joey: Yeah, it's broken, all right. [lifting Michelle's left arm] Well, this is loose. We'll tighten this up, [lifts up her other arm] and this needs a little oil [Joey pretends to put oil under Michelle's arm] Okay, let's try it again.
Michelle: [makes the car engine noise followed by a vroom] Thank you, Joey.
[Michelle starts pedaling away, but Joey stops her.]
Joey: Wait a minute, lady. You forgot to pay your bill.
[Michelle kisses him.]
Joey: Here's your change. [Joey kisses her]
[Michelle starts driving again until she gets to the front step, then turns around to Joey, who shrugs.]
[In D.J. & Stephanie's room, Michelle shakes "hands" with all her stuffed animals, as D.J. observes as part of her English homework.]
Michelle: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi! Goodbye.
[She attempts to leave, but D.J. stops her.]
D.J.: Wait, wait, wait. Slow down, Michelle. Observing you was supposed to be easy. So far, you've played with all your animals, and you flushed every toilet in the house. Why don't we take a nap?
Michelle: Okay, nap time.
D.J.: Bless you.
[They take a nap, alright; a very small one, approximately 5 seconds.]
Michelle: Nap over.
D.J.: I feel refreshed.
[She leaves, as Jesse enters.]
Jesse: How's your report going, Deej?
D.J.: The question is where is my report going?
[That will have to wait, as she leaves her room, to find and follow Michelle.]
Danny: Joey, let’s go! We’re gonna be late!
Joey: Danny, what is the big rush?
Danny: Joey, you know I always leave the house at exactly 7:48. Now, thanks to you, I’m already two minutes late.
Joey: What are you talking about? We are right on time.
Danny: Joey... that’s a barometer.
Joey: Well, in that case, we’d better get moving. There’s a hurricane brewing.
[Meanwhile, D.J. chases Michelle for the paper that has her report.]
D.J.: Michelle, give me my paper back so I can write down that you stole it.
Michelle: My paper.
[She keeps running and D.J. keeps chasing, but she doesn't see what's in front of her as she takes a hard bump into Michelle's crib.]
D.J.: Michelle, come--Owwww! Oh! Oh! Ow.
[She limps in pain and then sits on the floor, as Michelle gives the paper back.]
Michelle: I sorry.
D.J.: That's okay, Michelle.
Michelle: D.J. got a boo-boo?
D.J.: Yeah, I bumped my knee.
Michelle: I'll make it better.
[She kisses D.J.'s knee.]
D.J.: Thank you, Michelle.
Michelle: All better?
D.J.: All better.
Michelle: Okay. More fun.
[Michelle then grabs D.J.'s paper again and runs out of the room. Then, an angry Stephanie comes in.]
Stephanie: Have you seen your Uncle Jesse?
D.J.: Check his room.
Stephanie: If I wasn't so steamed, I would've thought of that!
[Later, as Michelle and Jesse are having sandwiches in the kitchen, D.J. comes home from school with some good news.]
D.J.: Hey, guys. Michelle, guess what? I read my report about you in class and I got an A!Give me five!
[They high five each other.]
Jesse: All right! so it was a good idea using the baby?
Michelle: I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl!
Jesse: Ooh, big girl. Excuse me, Miss Tanner.
D.J.: She's right, Uncle Jesse. You know, Michelle, I'm really glad I got to hang out with you. And we haven't spent that much time together since I started junior high.
D.J.: So, you're like a little person, now. You're sensitive, compassionate, and you're actually smarter than most dogs.
[Michelle sticks her tongue out while holding both sides of her mouth.]
D.J.: But you still gross me out.
Stephanie: He's not my boyfriend... but he is my friend.
Walter: Really? I'm your secret friend?
Stephanie: No, Walter. You're my "everybody can know" friend.
- The first of the very few appearances by Brian Kagan and Walter F. Berman, the only appearance of Stephanie's friend Laurie, and final appearance of Harry Takayama
- Becky does not appear in this episode, as she is on assignment
- Danny says, "Oh, Dorothy was right. There is no place like home!" Danny is referring to one of Dorothy Gale's most famous lines in the popular, classic The Wizard of Oz
- According to Jesse, he apparently was teased as a kid, which is why his role was important in this episode
- The last episode where the closing credits end with the image of Michelle being carried from the kitchen floor to her high chair at dinner (from the first 2 seasons)