|No More Mr. Dumb Guy|
|Season 3, episode 13|
|Air date||January 5, 1990|
|Writer(s)||Marc Warren & Dennis Rinsler|
|Previous||Joey & Stacey and...Oh, Yeah, Jesse|
|Next||Misadventures in Babysitting|
In Michelle's room, D.J. and Stephanie are prepping her for a visit to their grandmother's by doing her hair. In fact, they want her to look like a movie star. But when she looks in the mirror, she says that she looks just like herself. So she goes and gets a wig from her little toy wagon and puts it on, and looks in the mirror again, to which she says that she does look like a movie star now. She tells her sisters that they can go see their grandmother now, and they follow, with Stephanie remarking, "Right behind you, Zsa Zsa." (See Trivia)
There will be a well-cultured soiree to kick off the Festival of Cultural Arts, and Becky invites Jesse to accompany her to it. However, he declines, because he feels that he would not fit in among her intellectual friends.
Dr. Eric Trent, who was Becky's English professor in college, will be there, and when he visits the house before the party, Jesse becomes jealous, afraid that someone who is more intelligent than he is will sweep Becky off her feet. It falls to Joey to "tutor" Jesse in the fine art of making a good impression. Jesse studies hard so he can go to the party and prove to Becky that he is intelligent enough for her.
Meanwhile, D.J. and Stephanie teach Michelle how to insult people, turning Michelle into a human "insult machine," and when Danny learns about it, he isn't happy, and wants D.J. and Stephanie to reverse what they did, and teach Michelle how to not insult people. D.J. and Stephanie later realize that he is right, and when Michelle notices that Stephanie isn't laughing after she insults her, D.J. explains that she and Stephanie should not have taught her to say mean things, as they make other people feel bad. Afterwards, they teach her how to say something nice, and even offer to tuck her in bed.
Jesse: Michelle, don't grow up to be dumb like your Uncle Jesse, okay?
Jesse: I want you to be smart and go to college, and learn everything you can possibly learn.
Joey (to Jesse): Well, if people are discussing classic cinema, you say, "Citizen Kane is certainly in a class by itself."
Jesse: "Citizen Kane." Oh, I saw that movie. The, uh, fat dude was in it, right?
Joey: Here's a little intellectual hint: Never refer to Mr. Welles as "the fat dude."
Joey: Shakespeare trivia.
Jesse: All right.
Joey: In all the original stage productions, the women's parts were actually played by men.
Jesse: Oh, you mean like that weird show we saw in Vegas?
Joey: You might want to stay away from Shakespeare.
Jesse: I don't want to look dumb in front of Becky. There's gonna be a room full of champions from Jeopardy!, and I'm from The Price Is Right.
Joey: Relax Jess, I'll help you out. I did more in college then goof off, chase girls and party; I was in a fraternity too.
Becky (to Jesse): Congratulations. You behaved like a total jerk. Excuse me.
Jesse: Oh, I'm a jerk.
Becky: Oh, please.
Jesse: Why don't you just admit it? You think I'm stupid, don't you?
Becky: Jesse, that makes absolutely no sense.
Jesse: Oh, so now I make no sense?
Becky: No, now you're being stupid.
Jesse: Well, let me tell you something. You think you're so hot with your little, stuffy friends around here.
Becky: These are nice people.
Jesse: Okay, fine, fine. They're nice people. You stay here with your nice people. But let me tell you something. You stay and you talk about art, you talk about culture, you talk about Shake... Let me tell you something about your pal, Shakespeare. Anybody who makes men dress up like women, that's where I draw the line!
Jesse: (to Becky): I was thinking I could read some of those books you gave me, and we can talk about them together.
Becky: Okay. That's great, Jess. Enrich your life, challenge yourself. But do it for yourself, Jess, not for me.
The episode's title is a take on "No More Mr. Nice Guy", best known as the title of a hit song by Alice Cooper (1973), but also a phrase used by someone who is tired of being taken advantage of.
Stephanie's "Right behind you, Zsa Zsa" is a reference to actress Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917 – 2016).