|Our Very First Christmas Show|
|Season 2, episode 9|
|Air date||December 16, 1988|
|Next||Middle Age Crazy|
In the living room, the family gathers around their Christmas tree to take a picture for their annual family Christmas card. As soon as Danny sets the timer on his camera and then rushes to join the others, the phone rings, so the girls rush to get it, but are pulled back. Then the camera goes off, resulting in a picture (shown in the infobox) with some goofy poses.
The Tanners are on a flight to Colorado to spend Christmas with some relatives, and this is a trip that Danny has spent months planning. To make sure that viewers of Wake Up, San Francisco do not miss out, he has decided to tape the festivities using his camcorder, from the suitcases being loaded into the living room to the flight itself. However, they run into trouble because of a blizzard, which forces an emergency landing at an unfamiliar airport, and they are forced to spend Christmas in the baggage claim room, where everyone thinks that it is ruined this time around.
Jesse's father, Nick, tries to get him to kiss Becky (who had been expecting to go to her hometown in Nebraska to spend Christmas) under some mistletoe, and D.J. is upset that the gifts they brought along on the flight have somewhat gone missing. Stephanie, just as equally upset about the trip as her older sister (drawing some maps prior to their departure and even making a "Stephanie on Board" sign to place at her window seat on the plane), is frustrated when the Santa she sees, after tugging his beard, is Joey in disguise. As he understands how disgusted she is by that "trick", Danny then explains to her that since Santa can't be everywhere at once, he has helpers go in his place, and Joey was one of those "helpers", but that provides no comfort to her at all. D.J., quick to notice this, calls her dad out for his attitude, but then he explains that D.J. is probably "old enough to hear the truth" (see Trivia below). Jesse, becoming ever so frustrated by everyone's sour attitudes as well as the consumption of the consumerism and commercialization of the holiday season, speaks to everyone in the room about the true meaning of Christmas, and turns everyone's sour moods sweet by leading everyone into singing "Sleigh Ride". Not much later, everyone heads off to sleep... with the very audible sound of snoring.
The next morning, Michelle, not knowing that Danny was sleeping on the conveyor belt, accidentally pushes the button that triggers it (which elicits laughter and applause from the studio audience). He comes out, covered in snow, with Jesse joking that Danny was really dreaming of a white Christmas. When Jesse sees his "little Munchkin" already awake, he wakes everyone else up, and everyone else is glad that it is Christmas morning... even if they are stuck in an airport. And that does not stop Becky and Jesse from kissing under the mistletoe (which elicits a "WHOO!" from the audience).
Then, the real Santa Claus shows up, allows Stephanie to tug his beard for confirmation, and shows them where the missing gifts are; but little does everyone know that he's Lionel, a man who scared Michelle with his toupee during the flight. As a gift to the whole family (and possibly everyone else in the airport), in addition to revealing the missing gifts, he leaves behind a laptop computer that says "Merry Christmas! Ho! Ho Ho!" surrounded by holly berries and snowflakes, which soon scrolls up to reveal "Thanks for the maps, Stephanie!" with a picture of Santa making his lists and checking them twice. Everyone opens their gifts and sings "Deck the Halls" (as the EP credits appear—followed by a special holiday ending).
Special Holiday Ending
"Happy Holidays" is written out in green script, with "From Our Family To Yours" fading in below, complete with a border of red and green snowflakes, made to resemble a Christmas card.
[In the teaser, the whole family is in the living room, where they're gathered around the Christmas tree for their annual family Christmas card photo. Danny sets the timer on his camera.]
Jesse: Here we go. Let's go, Danny.
Danny: Okay, this is for our Christmas card. Everybody look merry, peaceful and joyous.
Jesse: Okay, come on. This is it.
Danny: Here we go. [He rushes to join the others.] Everyone say, "Christmas cheese."
Everyone: Christmas cheese.
[Stephanie comes downstairs as Danny is filming.]
Danny: Ah, here comes my daughter Stephanie. This happy little girl is what Christmas is all about.
Stephanie: [unhappily] Daddy, I don't wanna go on this dumb trip.
Danny: Steph, the camera's running. Try to be a little bit cuter.
Stephanie: [in a very sarcastically happy attitude] I don't wanna go on this dumb trip! [normal voice] Daddy, Santa will never find me in Colorado. He knows I live here.
Danny: Trust me, Steph. He'll be there Christmas morning.
Stephanie: Well, just to make sure, I drew this map. [She shows it to the guys and points everything out.] Well, just to make sure, I drew this map for Santa so he can find me. It's got the North Pole, "You are here." And San Francisco, "Stephanie was here." And Colorado, "Stephanie will be here Christmas morning." And this is a bird named Tony.
Stephanie: Operator, if Santa’s not listed, then give me the number for Mrs. Claus. Hello? Hello? How rude.
Irene Katsopolis: Whoever designed these airline bathrooms was not wearing pantyhose.
Stephanie: Daddy! Daddy! Good news. D.J. explained it. Santa will get here with the presents because Rudolph has red-nose radar.
Danny: Uh, Stephanie, you know, red-nose radar doesn’t always work in real heavy snow.
Stephanie: Are you saying Santa’s not coming?
Danny: Well, if he doesn’t make it here, I’m sure he’ll find you in a couple of days.
Stephanie: But it’s not the same. It won’t be Christmas morning. [She turns and heads back into the phone booth, closing the door behind her.]
D.J.: Dad, what were you thinking? I had her all cheered up, and then you bum her out big time.
Danny: D.J., I think you’re old enough to hear the truth. The airline lost our bag with the Christmas presents.
D.J.: What? No presents? You mean they lost my new CD player?
Danny: How did you know you were getting a CD player?
D.J.: Did I say “CD player”?
Danny: Yes. That’s exactly what you just said.
D.J.: Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m not getting it anyway. Stephanie was right. We should never have gone on this trip. This is the worst Christmas ever.
Jesse: What’s the matter with you people? The first Christmas was in a manger. They did okay. I mean, so what if we’re stuck in this crummy dump? Christmas isn’t about presents, or Santa Claus, or cows. It’s about a feeling. It’s about...it’s about people. It’s about us forgetting about our problems and reaching out to help other people. Christmas doesn’t have to happen in one certain place. It happens in our hearts. So if you think about it, we could have Christmas anywhere. I mean, even in a baggage claim. D.J., what do you see right there?
D.J.: A coat rack.
Jesse: No. I see a big beautiful Christmas tree. Joseph, what do you see back there?
Joey: Vending machines.
Jesse: No. I see a Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. Pop, what do you see back there?
Nick Katsopolis: A conveyor belt.
Jesse: No. I see...OK, yes, that's a conveyor belt. But the point I'm trying to make here is, that we can give these kids the best darn Christmas Day they've ever had! And you know why? Because, outside the snow is falling, and friends are calling "Yoo-hoo!". Come on!
- The first of three Christmas episodes
- In the teaser: "The 12 Days of Christmas" (instrumental)
- As the episode opens: the first few notes of Bobby Helms' "Jingle Bell Rock" (instrumental)
- In the middle of the flight: the first few notes of "Sleigh Ride" (instrumental; also sung by Jesse and Joey as they are bringing out their packed suitcases, and by everyone at the airport after Jesse's speech)
- As Joey puts on his Santa suit: "Jingle Bells" (instrumental; also played as Jesse continues his speech)
- During Jesse's speech: "O Come, All Ye Faithful" (instrumental)
- As the episode closes: the first few notes of "Deck the Halls" (instrumental, as the greeting text appears on screen; also sung by the family as they open up their presents)
- Stephanie's "Stephanie on Board" sign is a take on the "Baby on Board" sign, mainly used in cars
- When Danny tells D.J. that she's "old enough to hear the truth", it may have been a reference about Santa's existence (i.e. whether he's real or not), which is still up for debate
- Jesse's speech about the true meaning of Christmas may have been a cue from Linus' speech in A Charlie Brown Christmas