| Our Very First Night | |
| Season 1, episode 2 | |
 | |
| Air date | September 25, 1987 |
| Writer(s) | Jeff Franklin |
| Director | Joel Zwick |
| Previous | Our Very First Show |
| Next | The First Day of School |
Our Very First Night is episode two of season one, which originally aired on September 25, 1987.
Synopsis
It begins with Joey and Jesse attempting to change Michelle's diaper yet again. Like before, it fails, leaving Danny to change it himself, remarking that "Tarzan went to bed in better shape than that baby". Jesse, however, says that Tarzan wore diapers his entire life.
D.J. and Stephanie are put to bed after hearing a "scary fairy tale" story told by the guys, that is basically a combo of the girls' favorite characters. The three men have plans for that night. When the guys are all leaving home at one time, Danny explains that there has to be at least one adult in the house while the kids are there, giving his reason that his job is the only one that actually makes any money (despite Joey making some himself from the spectators at his gigs). Jesse is stuck being the adult that has to stay with the kids. While Danny is at work at the TV station and Joey is doing his comedy slot at The Laugh Machine, Jesse decides to have his band practice at the house. Stephanie and D.J. think that Jesse is the easy one to trick, so they try to take advantage of his leniency by copying what Jesse does, which gets him in trouble, staying up late with him by ingoring Jesse's advice "Wow,wow...girls,girls...you're supposed to be in bed" to stay bed, ordering a pizza, eating sweets late (ice cream sundaes and chocolate milk), partying with the band, and even asking a band member to dye their hair purple. This causes Jesse to get in trouble for not managing the kids and being a responsible adult. Joey comes home from doing his comedy slot and joins in on the fun.
When Danny comes home from work, before Jesse can recalls his statement, "Wow girls, you're supposed to be in bed. What would your dad say about this?". He notices everything that is going on and does not find the whole situation amusing. Before they can even escape or hide, he begins to yell at D.J., Stephanie, Joey and Jesse, telling them to "Get down! And I don't mean 'Get funky'." Before D.J. can explain, Jesse cuts her off and lies to Danny, taking the blame. After his rant, and threatening to really lose it in the event that Michelle's hair is dyed purple (which it isn't, luckily and fortunately), Danny realizes that Jesse and Joey do not know a whole lot about raising, handling, and managing kids, and decides he needs to teach and lecture them both on how to be more serious about being more parental, making sure the kids are in beds and that the guys are being responsible adults while Danny is not home.
However, when Danny notices empty ice cream sundae bowls and chocolate milk cartons under the table in D.J. and Stephanie's room, he assumes that "the sick fiend" forced the kids to eat it all and then hid the evidence under the table. After saying that Jesse's moving in "was just a big mistake", Danny even threatens to call the police on him. Stephanie and D.J. refuse to see their uncle be in trouble, let alone jail, so they tell Danny the truth about being the ones who caused him to get in trouble and apologize to Jesse for lying to him. After that, Danny sends them off to bed before threatening to take everything out of their room and "turn it into a 24-hour mini-mart", and offers Jesse the last slice of pizza and everything is calm once again. Danny takes Michelle off to bed by trying to sing the lyrical version of "Lullaby" by Johannes Brahms, but fails. So Joey yells "Conga!" (as Jeff Franklin's EP credit appears), and that's exactly what they do as they carry Michelle to her room (with the camera cutting to the hallway as the studio audience applauds and Thomas L. Miller and Robert L. Boyett's EP credits appear).
Guest stars
- Judie Aronson as Raven
- David Wakefield as Pizza Man
Quotes
[In D.J. and Stephanie's room, the camera pans from their little table with ice cream and chocolate milk cartons all over it, a sign of a mess. Stephanie is jumping while D.J. turns the rope tied to her bed.]
Stephanie: (singing) Z, my name is Zippy And my husband's name is Zorro. We come from San Francisco With a carload of zebras. A, my name is Alice--
D.J.: That's enough jump rope. Let's do the hand-jive.
Stephanie: Okay, but I can't stop jumping. I may never sleep again. [D.J. is able to stop her from jumping.] Thanks.
D.J.: [to Stephanie] Two bowls of ice cream sure gives you a lot of pep, huh?
Stephanie: Does pep mean you can't blink?
D.J.: That's pep. [hearing music downstairs] Party time.
Trivia
For this episode's end credits only, the third image is the back shot of D.J. and Stephanie fishing with Danny at Fisherman's Wharf (the second is always the front shot), as the camera zooms out.