|Our Very First Show|
|Season 1, episode 1|
|Air date||September 22, 1987|
|Next||Our Very First Night|
Our Very First Show is the premiere episode of Full House, which aired for the first time on September 22, 1987.
This is not the actual pilot for the series. The unaired pilot (with basically the same plotline as this episode) was shot with John Posey as Danny – because Bob Saget, the producers' first choice for the role, was unavailable, due to a prior commitment. The pilot is included in the Complete Series and The Complete First Season DVD sets.
See also: Our Very First Show/Transcript
A car crash killed Danny Tanner's wife, Pam, three months earlier, leaving him with the task of raising his three daughters on his own at the Tanner home. His mother, Claire, had been staying with the family to help out, but when she must go back to Seattle, he asks his brother-in-law Jesse Katsopolis and childhood best friend Joey Gladstone to move in to help him take care of the girls: ten-year-old D.J., five-year-old Stephanie, and one-year-old Michelle. Joey and Jesse's first day includes that harrowing rite of passage: changing a diaper. Since Joey and Jesse do not know a thing about taking care of a baby, they struggle in their efforts to take care of Danny's youngest, Michelle.
The other girls have a difficult time adjusting to the living arrangements. D.J. is frustrated that she has to share her room with Stephanie since Stephanie's old room is now going to be occupied by Jesse. Stephanie, on the other hand, is elated (see Quotes).
Jesse then enters and the girls are happy to see him. He asks D.J. about her incoming tooth, which she says hasn't happened yet, but he reminds her it's one less tooth to brush for the time being. He then tells Danny about his exciting gig at The Smash Club, his trip to Reno, and his encounter with Vanessa, a showgirl. Stephanie gets him to play "ballerina", and he initially refuses, but gives in after her "crying routine".
A few seconds later, Joey makes his entrance, and is glad to see Jesse and Danny, the latter showing him his "room": the alcove. He is excited about the move-in because he says that it occurred on the exact same day he ran out of clean clothes, and is excited that a washing machine is there, so he can do his laundry.
Upstairs, Danny shows Jesse his room, but Jesse is shocked by the presence of pink bunnies on the wallpaper (because it was Stephanie's room before; see Quotes).
In the bedroom across the hall, D.J. makes the most of sharing it with her younger sister. As the older sister, she sets the rules for her new roommate (see Quotes). When Joey and Danny come in, they assure D.J. everything will be just fine, and even offer Stephanie a piggy-back ride.
In Michelle's room, she continually cries. They figure that she needs to be changed. And that's something they have no experience doing. They take her downstairs to the kitchen to do it (see Quotes).
They think of putting her in a pot at first, but Jesse says to put a meat rack in first. After changing out the old diaper, they can't find the pack of new diapers! So, they get creative by using a fan to dry Michelle's bottom after the change, wrapping her up in a paper towel roll, and even putting her in a plastic produce bag. Then Stephanie brings out the pack of diapers (see video above).
Later that night, Jesse and Joey are exhausted, as the living room is filled with dirty baby clothes and other stuff, a sign of the mess made during the "diaper change" and "feeding" fiascos. When Danny comes home, he can't believe what he sees (see Quotes).
Then, after her flight to the Philippines with Bob Hope gets canceled, Vanessa comes in and she and Jesse head off to find some time alone. But before they can do so, Stephanie asks Jesse to play "ballerina" again. However, the guys all ask her to play with D.J., but Stephanie says she can't because D.J. moved out (see Quotes).
Danny leads everyone upstairs to find the closet and drawers are open and empty... (see Quotes).
What they don't know is that D.J. has rebelled against sharing a room with Stephanie by moving into the garage, where the guys find her talking on the phone to her best friend and next-door neighbor Kimmy Gibbler. Danny has to deal with this situation without a clue of how to do so, and asks Jesse and Joey to help. Danny demands his oldest daughter to return to the house, Jesse calls him out for it, and Joey tries a Bill Cosby impression (see Quotes). All efforts fail...for now.
When Michelle starts crying again, this time, it is a hungry cry. Danny asks Joey to go inside and warm up the baby bottle and asks Jesse to stay and talk to D.J. Like Danny, Jesse does not blame her for wanting her own room, but the world is not a perfect place. He mentions that even actor Bruce Willis gets a record deal (and he hasn't been able to), and then Vanessa shows up. With Vanessa in the house, he decides to buy D.J. off to get her back in, and it works. The offers alternate: Jesse offers $5, D.J. wants $50, Jesse then doubles his original offer to $10, D.J. goes down to $49 before going back up to $50 (see Quotes). Jesse's final offer is $20, but D.J. goes up to $21, and that's the final offer. Eventually, D.J. changes her mind and moves back into the house. But by the time she is back in, Vanessa is already gone, so Jesse wants the money back, and Danny's explanation shocks him (see Quotes)!
Danny then rejects D.J.'s offer of a garage sale, even if she promises to give him 10% of the profits. He also gives her the ultimatum of either her moving back in or all five of them moving into the garage and thus making the rest of the house useless and worthless. After ultimately deciding to move back in, D.J. reveals why she was upset about sharing her room with Stephanie. She did not like things that she loves disappear one by one. It started with the death of her mother, followed by her grandmother moving out, and now the fact that she has to share her room instead of having her own room. Danny and Stephanie comfort her, and then the family sings "Meet the Flintstones" to Michelle, making her very happy.
[After Claire leaves, the girls are very sad, so Danny tries to lift their spirits.]
Danny: Okay! Are we gonna have fun, or what? Hey, hey, hey! Let's see some smiles. Everything is gonna work out super great. Your uncle Jesse's moving in. My best friend Joey is moving in. And you know what? That means you two are gonna get to be roommates. Isn't that exciting?
Stephanie: I can wear all of D.J.'s clothes!
D.J.: Do I have to share my room with her?
Danny: Honey, it's gonna be just like having a slumber party.
D.J.: Yeah, with only one guest... who never leaves!
Jesse: Hey, hey, look alive! Uncle Jesse's here!
D.J. & Stephanie: Uncle Jesse!
Jesse: [imitating the girls] Uncle Jesse! [normal voice] All right! Hello! D.J., how you doing? That tooth come in yet?
Jesse: That's okay. One less to brush.
[Joey enters the living room carrying a bundle of laundry as he makes a trumpet fanfare sound.]
D.J.: Hi, Joey.
Joey: Hi, gang.
Danny: Oh, Joey, buddy, this is the best; you're moving in! [He hugs Joey and takes his bundle of clothes at the same time.]
Joey: Thanks, Danny. This works out so perfect. I move into a place with a washing machine on the exact day I run out of clean clothes. [Danny confirms that by quickly dropping the dirty laundry on the floor.] Jesse, long time no see. Now be honest. Did you ever think we'd end up being roommates?
Jesse: Not once.
Joey: I love this guy. [He walks over to his 'room'.] Danny, there's no way all my stuff will fit into a room this tiny.
Danny: Joey, this is not a tiny room. This is a large alcove. In fact, this is a large alcove that you're living in for free.
Joey: You know, now that I take a close look at it, it's [echoing] enormous... ‘normous... ‘normous... [to the girls] We are gonna have so much fun. Aren't we, kids? [He does the Popeye laugh.]
D.J.: [to Danny] You think we can catch grandma at the airport?
[Danny shows Jesse his new room.]
Danny: Nice, huh? Roomy. Not overly masculine?
Jesse: Oh golly, it's swell. You know what would look great by the window? Barbie's Dream House.
Danny: We've got one. Look, Jesse, I just want you to know that having you and Joey here... really means a lot to me. Just knowing somebody's here who cares about the girls. You know, they're so happy you're here. Oh, God bless you! [He hugs his brother-in-law.]
Jesse: You're hugging me in a room with pink bunnies.
Danny: I'm sorry. I'm an emotional guy.
Jesse: It's all right.
Danny: Okay, let's face it. I'm a lean, mean, hugging machine.
Jesse: Okay. Danny, listen... Pam was my big sister. And I loved her very much. And I love your kids. And I'm happy to do what I can. [Danny hugs him again.] Aah, you're hugging me again. Now listen; you and me, we'll sit down. We'll set aside a special time for hugging. But not now. [He opens the closet, and can't believe the arrangement of the clothes-racks.] Oh, great. I live in Webster's room (see Trivia).
[In D.J. and Stephanie's new room, D.J. explains two simple rules for her new roommate.]
D.J.: [rolling out crime-scene like tape from the window] Rule #1: Never touch my stuff. You should be taking notes. Rule #2: [clips the other end of the tape to an easel] Never set foot on my half of the room.
Stephanie: How do I get out of here?
D.J.: Easy. You jump out the window and climb down the tree.
Stephanie: I don't think so.
D.J.: Suit yourself.
Stephanie: I'll find a way out.
[She climbs up to the window rod and climbs all the way across until she reaches D.J.'s side. D.J. opens the window to send Stephanie all the way back to her own side, just as Danny and Joey enter.]
Danny: Stephanie, what are you doing?
Stephanie: Just hanging around.
[In Michelle's room, the guys try to get her to stop crying.]
Joey: [in a baby voice] Oh, Michelle, little baby-waby. What's the matter? Uncle Jesse, what are we gonna do?
Jesse: First, we stop talking like a munchkin.
[Jesse and Joey head downstairs, and as they watch where they're going...]
Joey & Jesse: Step one, step two, step one, step two, step one, step two, step one, step two.
Jesse: Okay, keep her coming [as they go into the kitchen through the laundry room side].
Stephanie: Showtime! [She heads into the kitchen to watch them change Michelle's diaper.]
[In the kitchen, Jesse and Joey are changing Michelle's diaper.]
Jesse: Joey, strip her. All right. Careful, there. You're in control. All right. Slide it off and... [realizing how soiled and stinky the diaper is] ugh! [Joey grabs a knife, stabs the diaper, quickly puts it in a bowl, and covers it with the lid.] Good thinking, Joey. Keep it fresh.
[In the front room, there is a mess after the diaper changing and feeding fiascos.]
Danny: Hey guys, how'd it go today with -? Whoa! What happened? What's with all the dirty baby clothes?
Joey: I'm sorry, but every time we fed her, she'd drool or dribble or spit up.
Jesse: Your baby's a pig.
[Stephanie wants to play "ballerina", but Jesse asks her to go play with D.J.]
Stephanie: I can't. She moved out.
Danny: Stephanie, honey, what do you mean, 'She moved out'?
Stephanie: She's gone. She rolled up her crepe paper and took off.
Danny: Okay, everybody, follow me.
[They head upstairs and find all her things are gone and the closet and drawers are open. Danny gives the 'you're-gonna-get-it' look to Jesse and Joey.]
[After the break...]
Danny: You lost my daughter?! I went to work for seven hours, and you lost 33 percent of my children? Joey, call the police. Jesse, search the neighborhood. I'm gonna call up D.J.'s friends.
Stephanie: And I'll go get D.J.
Danny: Stephanie, honey.
Stephanie: Yes, daddy?
Danny: Sweetheart, do you know where D.J. is?
Danny: Why didn't you say something sooner?
Stephanie: Nobody asked me.
[In the garage, we see D.J. talking on the phone.]
Danny: D.J., can I talk to you?
D.J.: Kimmy, hang on. [to her dad] I'm talking to Kimmy Gibbler. She called me on her own phone from her own room. She has three sisters.
Danny: D.J., you don't wanna live in the garage. It's filthy, it's stuffy--
D.J.: You want some fresh air? [She picks up the remote control and hits the button. The garage door opens up.]
Danny: [sternly] Donna Jo, I want you back inside right now, this instant. [calmly] Is that okay?
D.J.: No, thank you, Dad. [back to her phone call] So, Kimmy, where were we?
Jesse: Nice job, Dad. Been reading Cosby's book (see Trivia)?
Joey: Cosby? I'll handle this. [imitating Bill Cosby] Hello there, small childlike person. Mmha... ha... ha... If you move back into the house, you can have a big, juicy bowl of Jell-O. Mmha... ha... ha... ha... ha... ha.
D.J.: [regarding Joey's impression] No, Kimmy, that's not really him. I'll call you later. [She hangs up.]
Jesse: [regarding the offer to get D.J. to move back into the house] A buck? You went down a buck?!
[Jesse gets D.J. to move back in.]
Jesse: [running over and covering Stephanie's ears, then saying to Danny:] What the hell did you do with Vanessa?!
Danny: I didn't do anything with her. I just told her, with three little girls in the house, I thought it'd be better if she slept on the couch... and she left.
Jesse: You hate me, don't you?
[D.J. walks through the living room.]
Jesse: [to D.J.] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Vanessa's gone. Deal's off. I want my money back.
Danny: What money?
D.J.: The money Uncle Jesse paid me to move back in.
Danny: That's your special way with children? You buy them off?!
Jesse: It works. [to D.J.] Kid, money. [She gives it back.]
[In the kitchen...]
Danny: D.J., honey, I can’t let you have a garage sale.
D.J.: What if I give you ten percent of the profits?
Danny: D.J., come here. Can’t you just try sharing a room with your sister? [She refuses to answer.] Your mom was always so good at this stuff. I’d come home from work, and everything was always perfect. D.J., how would Mom have handled this?
D.J.: She would have caught me before I moved into the garage. Mom knew everything I did before I did it. [She's on the verge of tears.]
Danny: What is it, honey?
D.J.: It’s just not fair! First, I lose my mom. Then Grandma leaves. And now I even lose my own room? Everything keeps disappearing.
Danny: [on the verge of tears himself] I know exactly how you feel. And I know how much you girls miss your mother – because I miss her too... very much. But you still got me.
Stephanie: You got me, too.
Danny: You got Michelle, and you have your Uncle Jesse and Joey. D.J., we’re still a family. And now is when we really need to stick together. [D.J. is silent.] D.J., you and I, we go back a long time – ten years. The ten happiest years of my life. So look, it’s up to you. Either you move back inside, or all five of us are moving into the garage. But nothing is gonna break up this team.
- The closing scene of this episode features Joey, Jesse, Danny, D.J., and Stephanie singing The Flintstones theme song to a fussy Michelle in order to soothe her; 29 years later, in the premiere of Fuller House, the quintet recreate the same scene (a la split-screen) – this time singing to Tommy Jr. (see photo)
- Jesse saying, "I live in Webster's room" is a reference to the title character on Webster (TV series) (which ran on ABC in 1983–1987)
- Jesse asking Danny if he has been "reading Cosby's book" refers to the 1986 bestseller written by Bill Cosby called Fatherhood
- The episode first aired as a "special preview" on Tuesday the 22nd, then the following episode ("Our Very First Night") was aired on the 25th and was called the "series premiere", in its usual Friday time slot