|Sisters in Crime|
|Season 5, episode 14|
|Air date||December 17, 1991|
|Next||Play It Again, Jesse|
In the kitchen, Jesse and Becky are holding the twins, and are going to have a "burp-off". Whoever's baby burps the loudest, that parent is free from diaper duty for the entire day. Michelle comes downstairs to see what's going on, and she joins in with a burp of her own. The only problem is, she's a big girl now and no longer wears diapers. She declares, "I win! I'm still the burp champion!", as she delivers an "In your face!" to her aunt and uncle.
Danny, Jesse, and Joey are participating in a charity ice hockey game for KTMB, the TV station that Danny, Becky, Vicky, and Joey work for. Becky and Vicky will be at the game too, so Becky drops Nicky and Alex off at her Aunt Ida's house while D.J. stays home to babysit Stephanie and Michelle.
After all the adults have left, Steve Peters, a boy from D.J.'s school, shows up to take her out to the movies. The problem is, Michelle has the sniffles and is not allowed out of the house, and Stephanie needs to finish her book report. D.J. desperately does not want to miss out on a date with Steve, so she decides to remedy this by taking Michelle and Stephanie to the movies with her and Steve anyway. However, between Steve and D.J., they do not have enough money for Michelle and Stephanie for tickets to get them into the theater, let alone refreshments for them. In addition, it was initially planned that an adult movie (PG or PG-13) would be in the works, but with Stephanie and Michelle coming along, a child movie (G) was chosen instead. A Pink Panther featurette precedes the movie, causing the younger girls to hum the iconic theme, and D.J. shushing them and warning them not to even make a peep until the movie is over, but they do so anyway, going "Peep!" at their sister. It gets to the point where she angrily orders them to the back row of the theater, with Stephanie throwing in a "How rude!" for good measure. Kimmy Gibbler happens to work at the theater, so D.J. talks her into letting Stephanie and Michelle sneak in, but during the beginning of the movie the theater's manager takes them to his office.
Inside, Stephanie and Michelle talk to him about what happened, and he is shocked about how Kimmy claimed that they're the one-millionth customer because they just opened up a week earlier. They admit to him that he hired a nutcase. Soon, D.J. and Kimmy appear in the office, and D.J. is a bit upset with them for their reckless actions.
Inevitably, the three girls convince themselves that they can return home long before Danny learns that they have gone out without permission. D.J. makes up lies for the girls to tell Danny: Specifically, she babysat her sisters, Stephanie finished up her book report and had a bologna sandwich (diagonally-sliced), a glass of chocolate milk, and a Ding Dong; and Michelle played Candy Land with D.J. and won herself a Ding Dong.
Eventually, D.J.'s guilt gets the best of her but she ends up telling him the truth; unfortunately, her actions still get all three of them grounded. Per Danny, had she just stayed home and truly babysat her sisters as promised, he would have taken all of them out to the movies on his own dime, and raised her allowance.
Of course, D.J. contests this; however, Danny reminds her that Stephanie and Michelle are just as guilty as she, and he even preaches an appropriately classic proverb (see Quotes).
Later that night (as the inspirational music plays), she explains her lesson to her sisters; even defining the word "conscience" to Michelle, and promises not to repeat her mistakes; she starts by helping Stephanie finish her book report, and then playing Candy Land with Michelle later. She even tells them that they are free to hang out in her room anytime they would like, and then the three have a group hug, after which D.J. helps Stephanie with her book report as Michelle gets ready to play Candy Land by getting it out of the closet (and all this occurs as the studio audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
Kimmy: Thank you. Enjoy the show. Don’t spill anything – I’m the one that has to clean up.
[After the girls get home, D.J. gets her sisters into her former room and puts her plan into action.]
D.J.: OK, you two girls have a seat. [She closes the door.] Now, we're not out of the woods just yet. We can't tell Dad what really happened, so we have to tell him what didn't happen.
Stephanie: You mean, you want us to lie to Dad?
D.J.: No, I don't want you to lie. I just want you to tell a fib. A tiny, little fiblet.
Stephanie: Why? So you won't get in trouble?
D.J.: You didn't do your book report, so you're in trouble, too.
Michelle: Am I in trouble like 'Snake' [Stephanie]?
D.J.: No, but one day you will be, and Stephanie and I will be there to bail you out. So, will you help us?
Michelle: Let me think it over. ... I'm in!
[D.J. has just confessed to the whole thing.]
D.J.: Go ahead, Dad, ground me.
Danny: All right, you're grounded – all three of you.
Stephanie: [shocked] We're all grounded?
Michelle: Even me, your "little princess"?
D.J.: Dad, they don't deserve it! I told them that they weren't lying; just telling a fiblet.
Danny: They still went along with it. Ultimately, you're each responsible for the choices that you made, and you're gonna have to accept the consequences.
Danny: That means, 'You do the crime, you do the time.' [He leaves.]
[The girls gather at the little table (see Infobox photo).]
Stephanie: Deej, what happened? We got away with the whole thing, and then you blew it.
D.J.: I couldn't go through with it. You ever hear that little voice in your head saying, 'This is wrong'?
Stephanie: Sure, but I told it to shut up, and I listened to you.
Michelle: Do I have a little voice in my head?
D.J.: Yeah, everybody does. It's called your conscience. And when you do something you know is wrong, your conscience reminds you over and over and over and over... until you do something about it.
Michelle: It sounds like a pain in the neck.
D.J.: Look, I'm really sorry I got you guys grounded. Thanks for backing me up.