|Stephanie's Wild Ride|
|Season 8, episode 9|
|Air date||November 29, 1994|
|Writer(s)||Adam I. Lapidus|
|Previous||Claire and Present Danger|
|Next||Under the Influence|
Joey and Mr. Woodchuck attempt to tell the story of the "Three Billy Goats Gruff" to Nicky and Alex, but Mr. Woodchuck keeps ruining the story with his wood-related puns (see Quotes). So, they try talking like him and even hug him, which he accepts (as it cuts to the opening credits).
Michelle gets stuck on a video game and asks Jesse for help. Unfortunately for her, help is what he gives her. He gets past what she is stuck on and goes far beyond where she was originally. Even when Michelle insists on letting herself play, he will not let her, carried away as he is.
Stephanie and Gia Mahan are at the mall one day and are having ice cream. Gia notices a pair of guys, but Stephanie comments sadly on how they are in high school and would never look at them. After attempting (and failing) to turn up the charm, Gia whistles and gets the two to come over to their table. They introduce themselves as Jason and Barry, and wanting to impress the guys, Stephanie lies and tells them that they're both in a private high school.
D.J. and Kimmy Gibbler walk past their table and greet Stephanie. Both Jason and Barry recognize her and ask Stephanie why D.J. goes to their school while Stephanie goes to a private high school. D.J., learning quickly that she lied, asks as well. Stephanie, nervously, answers that their dad had a coupon. Kimmy thinks that she has lost it, but Stephanie quickly pulls them away and explains what happened, pleading for them not to blow it for her. D.J. and Kimmy agree they will not tell, as long as Stephanie does not insult Kimmy for a week. When she comes back, Jason and Barry are gone, and Gia tells Stephanie excitedly that they went to get their car.
Michelle, again, tells Jesse that she can take the video game from here, but he still denies. Nicky and Alex cheer him on from the sidelines. Joey comes in and assists Jesse with his playing. Becky and Danny enter the room and Becky tells the boys to wash their hands for dinner. Jesse and Joey, thinking she meant them, ask for more time. Becky takes the twins into the kitchen. Danny comments on Michelle playing the game for hours, but she answers back that she has not been doing much playing. Once Jesse and Joey are stuck, Danny suggests something else. Becky jumps in as well, and soon all the adults are begging to play the game.
Stephanie, Gia, Jason, and Barry are in the car, taking a shortcut. They start speeding up after saying that—to make it shorter—they should go faster. They also drive in the left lane instead of the right while a truck comes up. Jason pretends the steering wheel is locked, causing the girls to scream. All four of them are having fun except Stephanie. Gia convinces her to lighten up, and they continue to "have fun". Once Stephanie gets home, she tells D.J. of what they did, but D.J. angrily asks if she ever thought she could get hurt. They drop the subject, and Stephanie asks if anyone noticed she's late. She goes into the living room and says hi, but everyone is still interested in the game.
After landing on the Pond of Peace, D.J. interrupts their fun and tells them to eat dinner, saying that she is not comfortable eating alone at a table set for nine. They eat very quickly (as does Comet) and come right back to the game when they are finished. Stephanie and D.J. stay in the kitchen to do the dishes until Gia comes through the back door and tells Stephanie that Jason's outside with his car. Stephanie grabs her coat and asks Danny if she can go out, to which he says yes, as long as she is back by 9:00 pm. D.J., worried about Stephanie's safety after the first joyride, asks her to think it over. She does think it over, and then she decides that she is going again, and she attempts to leave. However, D.J. stops Stephanie, quickly snatches the coat out of her hand, and threatens her sister that she will tell Danny what she is really doing; when Stephanie calls her out for her (attempted) bluff, D.J., on the other hand, despite not saying it, says she is not bluffing and is dead serious. Stephanie can't believe that D.J. would squeal on her, but D.J. can't believe that her sister would put her in this position. Stephanie then grabs her coat back and mentions all the times that D.J. had sneaked in after curfew and Stephanie herself never said a word, but D.J. tells Stephanie that that's different and what she is doing is much more than just wrong—it's dangerous. Finally, after D.J. almost makes good on her threat to tell Danny, Stephanie has to say that she can't go with them, tells D.J. to stay out of her life, and hopes that she is happy, before slamming the back door, throwing her coat down in disgust, and storming upstairs.
The others are still playing the game. Jesse, Danny, and Joey start fighting over the controller until Becky takes it out of their hands. They all begin to grab for it, but then Michelle pulls the game out, ending their progress. They stop what they are doing at once and confront her, but she tells them she needed to stop the madness, which Nicky and Alex agree with her about. Jesse also realizes that Nicky and Alex are right, and Danny thanks Michelle for snapping them out of the obsession they had gotten into. They all go back to their regular lives, while Michelle starts to play the game.
Later that night in her room, Stephanie is studying as D.J. enters. They talk about what D.J. did in regards for Stephanie's safety, which quickly becomes an argument; namely, Stephanie says that there is nothing to talk about and that D.J. hates to see her have fun. Danny interrupts them and tells Stephanie that Gia was in a car accident with Jason and Barry (see Quotes).
Danny leaves, and Stephanie apologizes. D.J. tells her that all young people do stupid things and launches into a story of when D.J. and Kimmy hitchhiked. After they hug, Stephanie then decides to tell Danny what was really going on. Knowing that he will be mad, she also tells D.J. she will soften him up with her hitchhiking story, which leads to D.J. chasing her sister and former roommate out of her own room.
[In the opening teaser:]
Joey: All right, boys. Now tonight, Mr. Woodchuck's gonna help me tell you a story.
Mr. Woodchuck: Is it about... wood?
Joey: No, it's called the "Three Billy Goats Gruff".
Alex: That's our favorite story.
Joey: OK. Once upon a time, there were three...
Mr. Woodchuck: ...woodchucks!
Nicky: No, billy goats.
[Michelle is playing a video game and Nicky & Alex come running in.]
Alex: Can we play?
Michelle: Guys, Montezuma's Quest is a very complicated game. It takes timing, skill, and plenty of brain power.
Video Game: You have failed! Ha ha ha!
Nicky & Alex: You have failed! Ha ha ha!
Michelle: At least I can tie my own shoe.
Nicky: So what?
Alex: We have Velcro!
[They leave as Jesse enters the room.]
Jesse: Hey Shortcake.
Michelle: Uncle Jesse, can you help me with this video game?
Jesse: Oh, Michelle, I'm sorry. Video games have never really been my thing. Now, pinball! There's a game.
Michelle: What's pinball?
Kimmy: Hey, you're the losers who drilled the peephole in the girls' locker room.
Jason: You're the reason we plugged it up.
Kimmy: That hole works both ways, zit butt.
[Danny, Joey, Jesse, and Becky are eating dinner very quickly, so they can get back to the game.]
Jesse: Game time! [They get up and leave.]
D.J.: Thank you. I'll do the dishes. Don't worry about a thing. Buh-bye. Buh-bye, now.
[Danny, Joey, Jesse, and Becky all fight for the controller. After walking over to the game cartridge, Michelle then takes it out.]
Danny, Jesse, Becky & Joey: Hey!
Michelle: Game over.
Danny: Michelle, why did you do that?
Michelle: I had to stop the madness. Look at you! You were fighting over a silly game. You oughta be ashamed.
Alex: Shame on you!
Nicky: Double shame!
Jesse: The boys are right. I mean, we were completely obsessed over this thing.
Danny: Yeah. Michelle, thank you for snapping us out of it. I don't know, I just kind of got in and I zoned out and I didn't know what was happening. It's like when I empty Joey's hamper.
Joey: You know what? I think we just need to get back to our normal lives around here. I'm gonna go play with Mr. Woodchuck.
Becky: Tell him I said "hi". [Joey leaves]
Jesse: Thanks, Michelle.
Becky: Thanks, Michelle.
Danny: Yeah, thanks. [Danny kisses Michelle]
[Upstairs, Stephanie is studying when D.J. walks in.]
D.J.: Steph, we need to talk about this [joyriding].
Stephanie: There's nothing to talk about. You just hate to see me have fun.
D.J.: Oh yeah, Steph, that's real bright. You know, the first thing on my mind when I wake up is, "How can I make Steph miserable today?"
Stephanie: So you admit it.
D.J.: Oh, you're losing it.
[They end up arguing.]
Stephanie: No Deej, you don't understand. I was having fun and I was--
D.J.: No, you don't understand. You can't just get in a car with somebody you don't know--
[Danny, hearing the commotion, enters the room.]
Danny: Guys. Guys. Guys, guys. Take it easy. Whatever this is about, it can wait, OK? [He and Stephanie sit down on her bed.] Um, Steph, I just got off the phone with Gia's mom. She was in a car accident tonight.
Stephanie: [shocked] No.
Danny: [nods] Yeah.
Stephanie: She OK?
Danny: Well, she got some bumps and some bruises, and she's gonna be in the hospital overnight.
Stephanie: Oh my God.
Danny: She was with two other guys, and one of them broke his leg and got cut up pretty badly. They were really lucky they were wearing their seat belts; the car was totaled.
Stephanie: You hitchhiked?! What are you, nuts? That's so dangerous.
D.J.: Well... I know that now, but back then I was young and stupid like you.
Stephanie: So how do you get to be old and smart?
D.J.: Well, after a while you just get this little voice inside that tells you when something's dangerous... and if you're lucky you learn to listen to it.
Stephanie: I think I heard that voice before I got in the car with those guys. ... It sounded a lot like Dad.
- The episode title is a play on the Disneyland attraction Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
- Marla Sokoloff (Gia) played a character in an episode of the drama series 7th Heaven (1998), who was also injured in a car accident
- Claire is mentioned in this episode.
- The game that the family becomes addicted to, Montezano's Quest, is likely a take on Montezuma's Revenge (video game)