|Support Your Local Parents|
|Season 7, episode 12|
|Air date||November 30, 1993|
|Previous||The Bicycle Thief|
|Next||The Perfect Couple|
As they study in the living room, D.J. and Steve are kissing (which elicits a "WHOO!" from the audience). Suddenly, Michelle bursts in and notices, to which Steve tells her, "You know, nothing gets by you!" She tells them both that, in school, she learned that millions of germs live in spit (a.k.a. saliva). D.J. tells her sister that when someone kisses, they rarely think of germs and spit (saliva); to which Michelle can only say, "OK, it's your mouth", and walks away, speechless at what she just saw. The lovebirds want to go back to their kiss as if nothing just happened and nobody else was there to see it, but decide against it and get back to doing their homework.
In Jesse and Becky's attic apartment, he is working on a song, when his wife and kids come home. She explains a serious problem to him. In playgroups, 3-year-old Nicky and Alex refuse to play with anyone except for each other. Comparing this problem to that of Elvis, Jesse is too stubborn to admit that this is a problem until he and his wife attend a support group for parents of twins. After the visit with the support group, Jesse later admits that he did not want to acknowledge the problem because he was afraid that he may discover that he is somehow the cause of it and he does not want to do anything to mess up Nicky and Alex's lives; however, he was proven wrong at the support group.
Meanwhile, Stephanie and Michelle decide that when D.J.'s out of her room (whether it be for a date, drive, shower, etc.), the open door means they can raid her closet, "borrow" her stuff and pretty much take advantage of her and her generosity to them.
First, they wear her bracelets and one of her sweaters while she's taking a shower and washing her hair, and Michelle plays "goody-good" by telling her older sister/roommate they should ask. But the minute she's out (judging from the towel around her hair) and discovers her current room's been raided and her stuff swiped (see Quotes), she catches them in the act in her former room. When she catches on to what they are doing, they have no choice but to return her stuff. Then Danny discovers what is going on between the girls. He reminds them that "sharing rhymes with caring", and all the younger sisters need to do to borrow the older sister's things is to ask. The "dad talk" works, forcing in the above actions. Stephanie reminds D.J. that she was going to be more generous. D.J. says that's for next time, but right now is still this time, so she forces them to comply. And in addition, she gives them a lecture on the meanings of "borrowing" and "stealing", and that there's a huge difference between both.
Later, D.J. gets a traffic ticket for vision obstruction when Kimmy decides to air out her socks by sticking her feet out the window of the car. D.J. wants to keep the ticket a secret from Danny because she is afraid he will never let her drive the car again. Her sisters use this information to their advantage and blackmail D.J. to let them borrow clothes and other stuff from her, whether she likes it or not and despite the fact that Michelle has never heard of "rule #1" from the series premiere (of not touching D.J.'s stuff), let alone the original "rule #2".
This time, she catches them again wearing clothes she bought during the time she got the ticket. Stephanie says those clothes will bring out her (Stephanie's) eyes, but older sister threatens to (physically) bring out younger sister's eyes, and Stephanie threatens to bring out that ticket. Michelle adds that she used her (D.J.'s) toothbrush to brush Comet's teeth. As a result, for the next two weeks, D.J. is only allowed to drive the car to take her sisters where they want or need to go, and the roommates are grounded for blackmailing D.J. the way they did. While D.J. contests her punishment, Stephanie thinks it is fair – until Danny drops the bombshell on the roommates' punishment, which he finds to be even fairer (see Quotes).
[Stephanie and Michelle walk over to their room with D.J.'s things.]
Michelle: Shouldn't we ask D.J. before we borrow her stuff?
Stephanie: Michelle, D.J. and I have a special understanding. What's mine is hers, and what's hers...
D.J.: [from her current room – off-camera] Hey! Who swiped my stuff?!
Stephanie: ...is still hers.
[D.J. walks over to her former room.]
D.J.: Aha! My sweater. And my bracelets. You know, I'm tired of you guys stealing my stuff.
Stephanie: We're not stealing. We're simply borrowing.
D.J.: And when did you plan to give it back?
Michelle: [smiles] When you caught us.
D.J.: It's stealing, you guys.
Stephanie: No, it's not!
D.J.: You go into my room every time I leave, and you take something.
[They all end up arguing in the same room, when their dad, hearing the commotion, enters.]
Danny: Girls. Girls. Girls! [They finally stop.] You know the rule: No arguing an hour after eating. Anyone got a cramp?
D.J.: Dad, every time I take a shower, Stephanie goes in my room and swipes something. And now Michelle's doing it too.
Michelle: So? [smiles] Stop taking showers.
Stephanie: Then we definitely stop borrowing your clothes.
[After Danny's 'dad talk', D.J. declares that it's 'time' for her sisters to return her stuff.]
Stephanie: Couldn't 'last time' be 'this time', so 'this time' could be 'next time'?
Michelle: I gotta learn to tell time.
Steve: Deej, it's not that bad.
D.J.: Not that bad? I got a ticket. My dad's never gonna let me drive his car again. I can't believe I'm a pedestrian.
Kimmy: Deej, this isn't about religion. You're gonna be walking.
Steve: You know, Kimmy, this is all your fault.
Kimmy: Hey, I was airing out my socks. Who knew that hanging your feet out the window was illegal in this state?
D.J.: Well, this ticket says you're obstructing my view.
Steve: [takes the ticket and looks at it, then at Kimmy, and then back at the ticket] Boy, I thought you got it because her feet didn't meet current pollution standards. [D.J. takes the ticket back from Steve.]
[Steve and Kimmy leave D.J., as her eavesdropping sisters step in.]
Stephanie: Hi, Deej.
D.J.: How long have you guys been here?
Michelle: Seven years.
D.J.: I don't mean on the planet, Michelle. How much did you guys hear?
Stephanie: Hmm... Just enough to ruin your life.
D.J.: Look, you two. Not a word to Dad.
Stephanie: You mean, you want us to keep something from Father?
[She and Michelle gasp.]
Michelle: We couldn't.
D.J.: OK. What do you guys want?
Stephanie: Well, for starters, how about taking a little tour of your closet? [smiles]
D.J.: OK, you little rats can borrow my clothes.
Michelle: That's just the beginning. We also need to accessorize. [smiles]
[Danny has just laid down the law – separately – for the girls.]
Michelle: But then D.J. can't take us any place.
Danny: See, that's the fair part.
The episode title is a play on the 1969 movie Support Your Local Sheriff.