|Tanner vs. Gibbler|
|Season 2, episode 2|
|Air date||October 21, 1988|
|Previous||Cutting It Close|
|Next||It's Not My Job|
Michelle is riding her rocking horse in her room, with Jesse and Joey nearby, and it seems that all she wants to do is say "no" to everything—from going to sleep to her horse being tired. Joey jokingly remarks that her favorite James Bond movie is Dr. No. When he asks Jesse if she is smarter than the both of them, she finally says "yes".
D.J. is planning a birthday party for Kimmy Gibbler, who is turning 12. She is inviting some of their closest friends, and has already made out a list of the party foods and drinks that will be served. The phone rings and Danny answers it. It is his boss, Mr. Strowbridge. He asks Danny to come in as he has "big news". Danny is anxious to know what the big news is, excited that it may be "good news", but afraid it may be "bad news". Joey thinks that he is crazy.
Stephanie brings out a couple of dresses and asks D.J. which will look better on her at the party (see Quotes).
When Kimmy comes by to take D.J. to school, Stephanie slips up and mentions the surprise birthday party to her, and that obviously upsets D.J. But that does not stop the party from going forward. However, Kimmy decides to bring her new karate class friends, Melissa and Nina, two older girls in junior high school, to the party. Stephanie says she's free tonight, so they can invite her too. She asks them to think it over, as they don't have to answer that question now. But they ignore her as they head on off to school, with Stephanie throwing in a "How rude!" for good measure.
Meanwhile, Danny, anxious to hear the "big news" his boss promised him, is going to get it in the form of both bad and good news. The bad news is, he panics when he's removed from his job as a sportscaster at the TV station. The good news is, it turns out that the station has created a new local morning show entitled Wake Up, San Francisco, and they need two people to host the new show. Danny is named as one of the hosts, while his co-host for the new show is Rebecca Donaldson, who had moved to San Francisco from her hometown of Valentine, Nebraska many years ago, after coming off her two-year success in A.M. Omaha.
Later that night, the party is underway with the bulk of the guests already there. But before it can really begin, Michelle comes into the living room carrying a bowl of pretzels. D.J. spots this and reminds her that she's supposed to be in the kitchen with Jesse. Hearing that, Michelle drops the bowl, and the pretzels spill onto the floor, eliciting groans from the audience. In any event, D.J. promises to get the mess cleaned up as Jesse brings Michelle back to the kitchen where she belongs. He asks why it's so quiet, and D.J. says that the guests think he's cute. She even comments they weren't born when he was 12.
Then, as D.J. hopes that's the last interruption, the doorbell rings and the door opens, and everyone thinks their surprise guest has arrived. Unfortunately, the "surprise" turns out to be Stephanie in the white bridal dress she promised to wear. Needless to say, D.J. is not happy, saying that she's not the surprise guest, and asks what she's doing at the front door. Stephanie says she went to check the mail and it hasn't come yet. But then, she sees the pretzels on the floor and asks if they don't mind her gobbling them up. D.J. says they do mind and asks her to go upstairs, and she does so, remembering about a "super-duper party" with Joey waiting for her there.
After that, the real surprise guest shows up, along with Nina and Melissa. However, upon arriving, while they're glad to make it for their pal "Kammy", all that those two girls want to do is invite a bunch of friends over (see Quotes).
The next day, upstairs in their room, Stephanie is playing "school" with herself as the "teacher" and every doll and stuffed animal as her "class". When D.J. comes in, she rejects her sister's offer to join in (see Quotes).
Later, Danny wants everyone to watch a tape of the new show – although Stephanie says not to play it until Jesse comes home (so he won't miss it). Danny then realizes he doesn't have the tape, but he's saved as Becky has a copy of her own. Just as she grabs the tape out of her bag, Jesse walks through the front door. After both have a little chat in the kitchen, everyone gathers in the living room, Danny plays the tape, noting he's nervous on his first show. While the family views the tape – and Danny keeps asking what everyone thinks – Michelle does what everyone else feels like doing and grabs the remote and stops the tape. A cartoon shows up – which Stephanie and Joey are particularly happy about.
Later that day, Kimmy comes by to collect her birthday presents (see Quotes). It turns out that it was she who was being the victim of the "geekburger" stuff. Both she and D.J. realize that if they do not make up sooner or later, their friendship will come to a stop and they will not be able to do things together such as share lockers in junior high or attend college together. They eventually make up, hug each other, and open her presents. They even decide that maybe she would like to exchange those presents at the mall for better ones.
In the kitchen, at breakfast time...
- Stephanie: D.J., which one of these  dresses [white bridal or blue with a small pink bow-tie] will I look cuter in at your party?
- D.J.: Steph, you wouldn't like this party. It's gonna be a bunch of 6th-graders.
- Stephanie: In that case, I'll wear this one [white bridal]. It makes me look older.
- D.J.: Let me say this is as nice as I can: [sticking up her index finger] you're in 1st grade, [adding the 5 fingers of her other hand] and all the kids at this party are in the 6th grade.
- Stephanie: [doing the same with her hands] What if I... bring five other 1st-graders?
- D.J.: OK, I've tried to be nice. Uncle Jesse!
- Stephanie: Joey! She won't let me go to her party!
- D.J.: You're not coming. You're too young.
- [Arguing at the same time, the guys come in and pull them away from each other.]
- Jesse: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it. Neutral corners. D.J. first.
- D.J.: She thinks she's coming to my party.
- Stephanie: I do think that.
- Joey: Steph, I have a great idea. Why don't we have our own super-duper party upstairs? Doesn't that sound like fun?
- Stephanie: Does it sound like fun to you?
- D.J.: Thanks, guys.
At Kimmy's party, Nina and Melissa decide to make a phone call, and when Melissa dials "Duke's" number...
- D.J.: Before you call any Dukes, do you mind telling me what you're doing?
- Nina: Don't worry. In an hour we'll have 50 or 60 kids here.
- Melissa: Hello, Duke. [to D.J.] What's the address here?
- D.J.: [grabbing the phone out of Melissa's hand] Hello, Duke? This is a prank call [and hangs up].
- Melissa: What a dweeb.
- D.J.: Hey, this party isn't for you and your friends. It's a party for Kimmy and her friends.
- Kimmy: D.J., you're messing everything up. Don't you get it? They're in junior high.
- D.J.: Who cares?
- Nina: This is the land of the lame. Come on, Kimmy, let's get out of here.
- D.J.: Kimmy, wait. You can't leave your own birthday party.
- Kimmy: You can't tell me what to do.
- D.J.: I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just saying don't act dumb.
- Kimmy: Oh, now I'm dumb.
- Melissa: You are if you stay here.
- Nina: Come on, the mall's open 'til 9.
- [And they exit, leaving D.J. and the other guests shocked and speechless.]
In D.J. & Stephanie’s bedroom, Stephanie is playing "school", with herself as the "teacher", and her dolls and stuffed animals as her "class".
- Stephanie: There will be no talking in class. Everyone turn to page... [cut to the "class"] Mr. Bear (see Trivia), if it's so funny, why don't you share it with everybody? [D.J. enters.] Hi, D.J. Wanna play school?
- D.J.: No. I wanna quit school.
- Stephanie: Is that because you ate lunch by yourself today?
- D.J.: I wasn't eating by myself. I was eating alone. There's a big difference.
- Stephanie: Any questions, class? [cut to Mr. Bear] Yes, Mr. Bear? Mr. Bear wants to know why all the kids in school were calling you a "geekburger."
- D.J.: Mr. Bear is going to the principal's office. [She opens up the toy chest, grabs Mr. Bear, drops him inside, and closes it.]
- Stephanie: That's the cafeteria. I told them you weren't a "geekburger". Then they called me "geekburger junior". How rude!
- D.J.: It's all Kimmy's fault. She hates my guts because I wouldn't let her friends take over the party and wreck my house. Now she turned the whole school against me.
- Stephanie: Don't feel bad. I know you're not a "geekburger".
- D.J.: Thanks. And you're not a "geekburger junior".
- Stephanie: Thanks back. But until this blows over... I think I'll change my name ... to... Connie Chung.
In the kitchen, as Jesse gets Becky something to drink...
- Becky: You remind me of Corky.
- Jesse: [talking like Elvis and doing the sneer] Yeah. See, people tell me... [normal voice] Corky?
- Becky: My little baby brother. He used to do that same cute Elvis voice.
- Jesse: I remind you of your little baby brother?
- Becky: Yeah, it's uncanny. Corky and I would go up to Sutter's Pond to catch frogs. And he would always say: [now, she does her Elvis impression] 'Come on, little froggy mama.'
On the tape of the first show of Wake Up, San Francisco:
- Becky: Good morning.
- Danny: It's time to Wake Up, San Francisco. I'm Danny Tanner.
- Becky: And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
- Danny: And we like to know all your names but we're only an hour show and we've only got one phone.
- Danny: [on the video] This is so great. This is so much better than reading sports scores and interviewing sweaty guys.
- [Suddenly, the tape stops.]
- Stephanie: Cartoons!
- Danny: Michelle, you just turned off Daddy's new show. [She sticks her tongue out at him, and everyone else laughs. He grabs the remote.]
- Stephanie: Dad, wait!
- Joey: Yeah, this is a good one. [Danny gives him a look, and he looks back at Danny.] It's okay. I've already seen it.
- Joey: [to D.J.] You know, I know why you're so upset. Because the people that can hurt you the most are the people you love the most. Take me and Jesse, for example.
- Jesse: Is that the best example?
- Joey: It just kind of popped out.
- Jesse: Just kidding. No, he's right. Here. Here's a perfect story. Just last week, Joey taped over my favorite Elvis video with Pee-wee's Playhouse. I mean, tell me, how would you like to be sitting there watching 'the King' and all of a sudden he's singing, 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog...' 'I know you are, but what am I?' The point is, Joey made a mistake, but I forgave him. Erasing a friendship is a lot worse than erasing a tape.
- D.J.: Well, I still think she's a nerd bomber.
- Joey: D.J., do you remember your beat-up, old, flat soccer ball that I accidentally threw away?
- D.J.: You mean the one I scored my first goal with?
- Joey: Yeah, that one.
- D.J.: Yeah, I remember. I was so mad at you.
- Joey: See, you're not mad at me anymore.
- D.J.: No.
- Joey: Well, see... D.J., if you hadn't forgiven me, we would've missed out on all the good times we've had between then and now. And all the good times we're gonna have. You know what I'm saying?
- D.J.: You're saying give Kimmy another chance.
- Joey: Sure. Part of having a best friend is being a best friend. Let the hurt go away, not Kimmy.
- Stephanie: D.J., Kimmy Gibbler's downstairs.
Kimmy comes over and D.J. thinks that she came to apologize, but she came to get her presents.
- D.J.: If you don't apologize, then how can I forgive you?
- Kimmy: Forgive me for what? ... getting kicked out of my own party?
- D.J.: I didn't kick you out! You left!
- Kimmy: Because you embarrassed me in front of Nina and Melissa.
- D.J.: What's wrong with you? I can't believe you'd rather be friends with girls who really aren't your friends than friends with a girl who already was your friend.
- Kimmy: I don't know what you just said, but same to you, geekburger.
- D.J.: Don't call me that, Kimmy Gobbler!
- Kimmy: Double geekburger with cheese!
- D.J.: I hate you!
- Kimmy: I hate you, too! Mail me my presents.
- First time Kimmy's birthday is celebrated
- The only appearances of Kimmy's party-crashing classmates, Melissa and Nina
- First appearance of Mr. Strowbridge, Danny and Rebecca's boss
- First appearance of Becky
- First time Jesse and Becky meet
- First episode to use the season two intro
- First appearance of Mr. Bear
- First episode to feature the Lorimar Television music
- The cartoon that Michelle inadvertently changes to is ThunderCats (1985 TV series)
- The lines "I think we really helped the kid out, huh, Ozzie?" (Joey), "We sure did, Harriet" (Jesse) are allusions to the ABC sitcom The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet (1952–1966)