|Tanner vs. Gibbler|
|Season 2, episode 2|
|Air date||October 21, 1988|
|Previous||Cutting It Close|
|Next||It's Not My Job|
Michelle is riding her rocking horse in her room, with Jesse and Joey nearby, and all she wants to do is say "No" to just about everything, from going to sleep to her horse being tired. Joey jokingly remarks that her favorite James Bond movie is Dr. No, and when he asks Jesse if she is smarter than the two of them, she finally says "yes".
When Stephanie slips up and mentions the surprise birthday party to Kimmy, Kimmy decides to bring her new karate class friends, Melissa and Nina, two older girls in junior high, to the party with her. Upon arriving, however, all that the two girls want to do is invite a bunch of friends over to trash the house (just like they've done at other parties), so when D.J. kicks them out for even thinking about trashing her house, Kimmy decides to abandon the party and go to the mall with them. This begins a feud between the two girls.
The next day, upstairs in their room, Stephanie is playing "school" with herself as the "teacher" and all her dolls and stuffed animals as her "class", including Mr. Bear (see Trivia) and D.J.'s "Pillow Person" (an unmentioned violation of "rule #1"). She reminds them the usual rule of no talking in class, and when she catches Mr. Bear "laughing", she tells him if what he is "laughing" about is so funny, why not share it with the rest of the "class"?
When D.J. comes home and enters the room, Stephanie asks if she wants to play "school", and D.J. says she wants to quit school. Stephanie then asks her if she ate by herself at lunch, and D.J. says that she ate alone, a big difference from eating by herself. Stephanie asks the "class" if there are any questions, and interprets to D.J. Mr. Bear's "question": "Why were all the kids in the school calling her a 'geekburger'?" And with that, D.J. decides that Mr. Bear is going to the "principal's office", as she grabs him, opens the toy chest, drops him inside, and closes it back up. Stephanie reminds her that the toy chest is the "cafeteria". She says that when she called the kids out for their attitude towards her older sister/roommate, she got labeled a "geekburger junior", which calls for a "How rude" by her. D.J. then explains the above events from the party the night before, and because of her stopping Kimmy's friends from trashing the house, Kimmy has turned the whole school against D.J. The two realize that neither of them is a geekburger, and Stephanie decides that until this whole fiasco is behind them, she wants to change her name. (See Quotes.)
With help from Jesse and Joey, D.J. and Kimmy end their feud, as Kimmy realizes that D.J. refuses to let her forget who her real friends are, and Jesse and Joey remind D.J. that erasing a friendship is much worse than erasing a tape (he provides a good example, when he forgave Joey for accidentally recording Pee-wee's Playhouse on his Elvis tape).
Later that day, when Kimmy comes by to collect her birthday presents, D.J. asks her to apologize, but Kimmy refuses to apologize for what she calls "getting kicked out" of her own birthday party. D.J. reminds her that she didn't kick her out, Kimmy left on her own free will and refuses to apologize to the "geekburger", and needless to say, D.J. calls out "Kimmy Gobbler" for it, and Kimmy just says that D.J.'s a "double geekburger with cheese", and that she should just mail her her presents; however, her best friend calls her out for being friends with girls who are not her friends than being friends with a girl who was already her friend. It turns out that it was Kimmy who was being the victim of the "geekburger" stuff. They eventually make up, hug (to which the studio audience gives an "aw"), and open her presents (as the audience applauds). They even decide that maybe she would like to exchange those presents at the mall for better ones.
Meanwhile, Danny panics when he's removed from his job as a sportscaster at the TV station, but it turns out that the station has created a new local morning show entitled Wake Up, San Francisco, and they need two people to host the new show. Danny is named as one of the hosts, while his co-host for the new show is Rebecca Donaldson, who had moved to San Francisco from her hometown of Valentine, Nebraska many years ago, after coming off her two-year success in A.M. Omaha.
- D.J.: O.K., I made the list of food I need for Kimmy's surprise birthday party: grape soda, orange soda, caramel corn, cherry licorice, and ice cream.
- Joey: Why shop? Just put out a bowl of white sugar.
- D.J.: I'm D.J. I'm glad you could make it.
- Nina: We wouldn't miss a party for our new pal Kammy.
- D.J.: Her name's Kimmy.
- Kimmy: They wear lipstick. They can call me whatever they want.
[In D.J. & Stephanie’s bedroom, Stephanie is playing "school", with herself as the "teacher", and her dolls and stuffed animals, including Mr. Bear and D.J.'s "Pillow Person", as her "class".]
- Stephanie: There will be no talking in class. Everyone turn to page....Mr. Bear, if it's so funny, why don't you share it with everybody? [D.J. enters.] Hi, D.J. Wanna play school?
- D.J.: No. I wanna quit school.
- Stephanie: Is that because you ate lunch by yourself today?
- D.J.: I wasn't eating by myself. I was eating alone. There's a big difference.
- Stephanie: Any questions, class? Yes, Mr. Bear? Mr. Bear wants to know why all the kids in school were calling you a "geekburger."
- D.J.: Mr. Bear is going to the principal's office. [She opens up the toy chest, grabs Mr. Bear, drops him inside, and closes the toy chest back up.]
- Stephanie: That's the cafeteria. I told them you weren't a "geekburger". Then they called me "geekburger junior". How rude.
- D.J.: It's all Kimmy's fault. She hates my guts because I wouldn't let her friends take over the party and wreck my house. Now she turned the whole school against me.
- Stephanie: Don't feel bad. I know you're not a "geekburger".
- D.J.: Thanks. And you're not a "geekburger junior".
- Stephanie: Thanks back. But until this blows over...I think I'll change my name. To...Connie Chung.
- D.J. [to Kimmy]: Well, you know, if we don't make up, how are we going to share our lockers in junior high?
- Kimmy: We won't be able to go to college together.
- D.J.: And we won't be able to marry identical twins and be congresswomen.
- First time Kimmy's birthday is celebrated
- The only appearances of Kimmy's party-crashing classmates, Melissa and Nina
- First appearance of Mr. Strowbridge, Danny and Rebecca's boss
- First appearance of Becky
- First time Jesse and Becky meet
- First episode to use the season two intro
- First appearance of Mr. Bear
- First episode to feature the Lorimar Television music