|Tanner vs. Gibbler|
|Season 2, episode 2|
|Air date||October 21, 1988|
|Previous||Cutting It Close|
|Next||It's Not My Job|
Michelle is riding her rocking horse in her room, with Jesse and Joey nearby, and all she wants to do is say "No" to just about everything, from going to sleep to her horse being tired. Joey jokingly remarks that her favorite James Bond movie is Dr. No, and when he asks Jesse if she is smarter than the two of them, she finally says "yes".
As Jesse makes breakfast for everyone, Danny shows Michelle a creative way to remove lint from clothes: Put masking tape on your hand, sticky side out, and it'll do the trick.
In the meantime, to celebrate Kimmy's 12th birthday, D.J. plans a special party at the house with some of their closest friends, even though the initial plan was for D.J. to take Kimmy out to the movies. D.J. has already made out a list of the party foods and drinks that will be served at the party (see Quotes), to which Joey suggests that she just put out a bowl of white sugar instead of shopping (as everything she's listed is all sweet stuff). Then the phone rings, and on the other end is Danny's boss, Mr. Strowbridge. He asks Danny to come in as he has some "good news" for Danny, and it's actually "big news". Danny promises to come in as he hangs up, anxious to know what the "big news" is, excited it may be "good news", but afraid it may be "bad news". But when he tries to hang up the phone, his sticky-sided masking tape clings to the phone, and Jesse and Joey are speechless at this. Joey thinks Danny is crazy, and Jesse notes that "on the plus side, there's no lint on the phone." Danny uses his free hand to free the phone from the tape, and hang the phone up safely, despite almost knocking over a lamp in the process.
Stephanie brings out a couple of dresses (a regular white bridal and a blue with white collar and pink bow-tie) and asks D.J. which will look better on her at the party. However, her sister says that the party is for 6th graders only, as Stephanie is only in the 1st grade. Stephanie decides she'll wear the white bridal dress, saying it makes her look older. But that doesn't stop her from being sarcastic, as she asks, "What if I bring five other 1st graders?" This causes things to heat up and tensions to rise, turning into an argument that causes Joey and Jesse to come over and break up the fight before it can escalate, and Joey to come up with an idea for Stephanie: They can have their own "super-duper party" upstairs, which doesn't sit well with Stephanie, but eventually she goes along.
When Kimmy comes by to take D.J. to school, Stephanie slips up and mentions the surprise birthday party to her, and that obviously upsets D.J. But that does not stop the party from going forward. However, Kimmy decides to bring her new karate class friends, Melissa and Nina, two older girls in junior high, to the party. Stephanie says she's free tonight, so they can invite her too. She asks them to think it over, as they don't have to answer that question now, but they ignore her as they head on off to school, with Stephanie throwing in a "How rude!" for good measure.
Meanwhile, Danny, anxious to hear the "big news" his boss promised him, is going to get it in the form of both bad and good news. The bad news is, he panics when he's removed from his job as a sportscaster at the TV station, but the good news is, it turns out that the station has created a new local morning show entitled Wake Up, San Francisco, and they need two people to host the new show. Danny is named as one of the hosts, while his co-host for the new show is Rebecca Donaldson, who had moved to San Francisco from her hometown of Valentine, Nebraska many years ago, after coming off her two-year success in A.M. Omaha.
Later that night, the party is underway with the bulk of the guests already there. But before it can really begin, Michelle comes into the living room carrying a bowl of pretzels. D.J. spots this and reminds her that she's supposed to be in the kitchen with Jesse. Hearing that, Michelle drops the bowl, and the pretzels spill onto the floor, eliciting groans from the audience. In any event, D.J. promises to get the mess cleaned up as Jesse brings Michelle back to the kitchen where she belongs. He asks why it's so quiet, and D.J. says that the guests think he's cute. She even comments they weren't born when he was 12.
Then, as D.J. hopes that's the last interruption, the doorbell rings and the door opens, and everyone thinks their surprise guest has arrived. Unfortunately, the "surprise" turns out to be Stephanie in the white bridal dress she promised to wear. Needless to say, D.J. is not happy, saying that she's not the surprise guest, and asks what she's doing at the front door. Stephanie says she went to check the mail and it hasn't come yet. But then, she sees the pretzels on the floor and asks if they don't mind her gobbling them up. D.J. says they do mind and asks her to go upstairs, and she does so, remembering about her "super-duper party" with Joey waiting for her there.
After that, the real surprise guest shows up, along with Nina and Melissa. However, upon arriving, while they're glad to make it for their pal "Kammy", all that those two girls want to do is invite a bunch of friends over to trash the house (just like they've done at other parties), and they decide to use the phone to make a prank call. But before they can even do so, D.J., after grabbing back the phone and hanging it up, then kicks them out for even thinking about trashing her house, and in return, they call her a "dweeb". She tells them that the party isn't for them and their friends, but Kimmy and her friends. When Kimmy decides to leave with them, D.J. tells her that she can't leave her own party, and her best friend says she can't tell her what to do. D.J. snaps back, saying she isn't telling her what to do, she's telling her to just not act dumb. Kimmy then asks if she is acting dumb if she leaves her own party, and the girls she brought over say that she is indeed dumb if she stays at the "lame" party. The three then leave to go to the mall, leaving D.J. and the other guests shocked and speechless.
The next day, upstairs in their room, Stephanie is playing "school" with herself as the "teacher" and all her dolls and stuffed animals as her "class", including Mr. Bear (see Trivia) and D.J.'s "Pillow Person" (an unmentioned violation of "rule #1"). She reminds them the usual rule of no talking in class, and when she catches Mr. Bear "laughing", she tells him if what he is "laughing" about is so funny, why not share it with the rest of the "class"?
When D.J. comes home and enters the room, Stephanie asks if she wants to play "school", and D.J. says she wants to quit school. Stephanie then asks her if she ate by herself at lunch, and D.J. says that she ate alone, a big difference from eating by herself. Stephanie asks the "class" if there are any questions, and interprets to D.J. Mr. Bear's "question": "Why were all the kids in the school calling her a 'geekburger'?" And with that, D.J. decides that "Mr. Bear is going to the principal's office." She grabs him, opens the toy chest, drops him inside, and closes it back up; to which her sister corrects her, "That's the cafeteria." She says that when she called the kids out for their attitude towards her older sister/roommate, she got labeled a "geekburger junior", which calls for a "How rude" by her. D.J. then explains the above events from the party last night, and because of her stopping Kimmy's friends from trashing the house, Kimmy has turned the whole school against D.J. The two realize that neither of them is a geekburger, and Stephanie decides that until this whole fiasco is behind them, she wants to change her name (see Quotes). Her way of thinking causes her sister to just shake her head and roll her eyes in disbelief.
Later, Danny wants everyone to watch a tape of the new show – although Stephanie says not to play it until Jesse comes home (so he won't miss it). To prepare for the big event, Danny sprays Windex on the TV to make sure it's crystal clear as ever, though Joey says he didn't need to do that. Danny then realizes he doesn't have the tape, but he's saved as Becky has a copy of her own. Just as she grabs the tape out of her bag, Jesse walks through the front door (which is the first time they meet). They then have a little chat in the kitchen about whether or not she has found an apartment, and whether he reminds her of her baby brother Corky, who has the same Elvis voice as him. Once everyone has gathered in the living room, Danny plays the tape, noting he's nervous on his first show (which is true as everyone suffers the first time jitters from just about anything). While the family views the tape – and Danny keeps asking what everyone thinks – Michelle does what everyone else feels like doing and grabs the remote and stops the tape. A cartoon shows up – which Stephanie and Joey are particularly happy about.
With help from Jesse and Joey, D.J. and Kimmy end their feud, as Kimmy realizes that D.J. refuses to let her forget who her real friends are, and Jesse and Joey remind D.J. that erasing a friendship is much worse than erasing a tape (he provides a good example, when he forgave Joey for accidentally recording Pee-wee's Playhouse on his Elvis tape).
Later that day, when Kimmy comes by to collect her birthday presents, D.J. asks her to apologize, but Kimmy refuses to apologize for what she calls "getting kicked out" of her own birthday party. D.J. reminds her that she did not kick her out, Kimmy left on her own free will and refuses to apologize to the "geekburger", and needless to say, D.J. calls out "Kimmy Gobbler" (what one of the junior high girls mistakenly called her) for it, and Kimmy just says that D.J.'s a "double geekburger with cheese", and that she should just mail her her presents; however, her best friend calls her out for being friends with girls who are not her friends than being friends with a girl who was already her friend. It turns out that it was Kimmy who was being the victim of the "geekburger" stuff. They realize (as the inspirational music plays) that if they do not make up sooner or later, their friendship will come to a stop and they will not be able to do things together such as share lockers in junior high or attend college together. They eventually make up, hug (to which the studio audience gives an "Aw"), and open her presents (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear). They even decide that maybe she would like to exchange those presents at the mall for better ones.
- D.J.: O.K., I made the list of food I need for Kimmy's surprise birthday party: grape soda, orange soda, caramel corn, cherry licorice, and ice cream.
- Joey: Why shop? Just put out a bowl of white sugar.
[Kimmy, Nina, and Melissa arrive just in time.]
- D.J.: I'm D.J. I'm glad you could make it.
- Nina: We wouldn't miss a party for our new pal Kammy.
- D.J.: Her name's Kimmy.
- Kimmy: They wear lipstick. They can call me whatever they want.
[In D.J. & Stephanie’s bedroom, Stephanie is playing "school", with herself as the "teacher", and her dolls and stuffed animals, including Mr. Bear and D.J.'s "Pillow Person", as her "class".]
- Stephanie: There will be no talking in class. Everyone turn to page....[cut to the "class"] Mr. Bear, if it's so funny, why don't you share it with everybody? [D.J. enters.] Hi, D.J. Wanna play school?
- D.J.: No. I wanna quit school.
- Stephanie: Is that because you ate lunch by yourself today?
- D.J.: I wasn't eating by myself. I was eating alone. There's a big difference.
- Stephanie: Any questions, class? [cut to Mr. Bear] Yes, Mr. Bear? Mr. Bear wants to know why all the kids in school were calling you a "geekburger."
- D.J.: Mr. Bear is going to the principal's office. [She opens up the toy chest, grabs Mr. Bear, drops him inside, and closes the toy chest back up.]
- Stephanie: That's the cafeteria. I told them you weren't a "geekburger". Then they called me "geekburger junior". How rude.
- D.J.: It's all Kimmy's fault. She hates my guts because I wouldn't let her friends take over the party and wreck my house. Now she turned the whole school against me.
- Stephanie: Don't feel bad. I know you're not a "geekburger".
- D.J.: Thanks. And you're not a "geekburger junior".
- Stephanie: Thanks back. But until this blows over...I think I'll change my name. To...Connie Chung.
- [Her sister/roommate just shakes her head and rolls her eyes in disbelief.]
- D.J. [to Kimmy]: Well, you know, if we don't make up, how are we going to share our lockers in junior high?
- Kimmy: We won't be able to go to college together.
- D.J.: And we won't be able to marry identical twins and be congresswomen.
- First time Kimmy's birthday is celebrated
- The only appearances of Kimmy's party-crashing classmates, Melissa and Nina
- First appearance of Mr. Strowbridge, Danny and Rebecca's boss
- First appearance of Becky
- First time Jesse and Becky meet
- First episode to use the season two intro
- First appearance of Mr. Bear
- First episode to feature the Lorimar Television music
- The cartoon that Michelle inadvertantly changes to is ThunderCats (1985 TV series)