The Graduates | |
Season 4, episode 25 | |
Air date | April 26, 1991 |
Writer(s) | Ellen Guylas |
Director | Joel Zwick |
Previous | Girls Just Wanna Have Fun |
Next | Rock the Cradle |
The Graduates is episode twenty-five of season four on Full House. It originally aired on April 26, 1991.
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Michelle comes into Joey's room asking if he has seen her stuffed pig. She tells him that she looked everywhere to no avail. Joey helps by playing the blues on his harmonica, and while they sing about her troubles, she remembers that she left it in the kitchen and goes downstairs to get it.
Synopsis[]
Becky is making waffles for breakfast, but everyone seems to be baffled by her efforts (see Quotes).
Danny's blind date last night didn't go well, and at age 33, he feels like he does not have as much youth in him as he used to. After saying that he does not have any gray hair, Becky, Jesse, and Joey prove to him otherwise, each pulling one strand for each one they find (and causing him to scream in pain each time). When his daughters come downstairs, he asks each of them individually how old they think he looks. Michelle says "92" and D.J. just says that he looks old.
Meanwhile, Jesse becomes an unsuspecting participant in Michelle's preschool graduation program and D.J. graduates from junior high school. Michelle's "choice" for a graduation song (see Trivia) annoys everyone, and D.J. is nervous about speaking in front of a class of 300.
As D.J. prepares to move on to high school and Michelle prepares to move on to kindergarten, and both have commencements of their own, Stephanie feels left out because her 3rd-grade year has ended without a commencement (see Quotes).
As the family attends Michelle's commencement, Stephanie mentions she never had one in preschool or kindergarten. Even then, she still feels a bit left out of all the festivities revolving around D.J. and Michelle, so the guys come up with a solution to the problem by giving Stephanie her own commencement at home, complete with a red hat with tassels (in lieu of a mortarboard) and high heel shoes, (among other gifts, see Quotes).
Everyone else has feelings about this, but they have even bigger feelings about the girls moving out, and them getting older, and Danny getting bald hair.
That night, Danny starts dating 21-year-old Kirsten, a free-spirited college student who has a lot more in common with D.J. than she does with Danny. Kirsten does prefer older men, but she did not realize that he was 33. She gives him a last kiss and says goodbye. After she leaves, he makes sobbing-like sounds.
In the kitchen, Danny is alone, singing a song (see Trivia) over losing Kristen and drowning his sorrows in chocolate cake. D.J. enters and asks if he is in a "crisis". After she reads to him the beginning of her graduation speech, he tells her "you can't live for the future, just like you can't live in the past"—which is what he was doing. Then, to lighten the mood, she tells him that she and Kimmy found his neon outfit, which he had on, very funny.
The other girls come in, cheer him up, and share his cake (see Quotes and photo). (The audience applauds and the EP credits appear.)
Quotes[]
[In the teaser, Michelle enters Joey's room while he's playing the harmonica.]
Michelle: [He stops.] Have you seen my piggy?
Joey: Your piggy? No. Is he lost?
Michelle: Yes. I looked everywhere!
Joey: Hmm. Well, I'll tell you, Michelle: Whenever I lose a stuffed animal, there's only one thing that helps me through the night: I play the blues. So, I'll tell you what: I'll get started, and then you tell me the story. Here we go: [plays the first bar of 5 notes on the harmonica, then sings:] Michelle lost her piggy [harmonica].
Michelle: [singing] Oh, where could he be? [He repeats the notes.] He's not in my room [harmonica]. I just remembered [harmonica]: I left him in the kitchen [harmonica] [and downstairs she goes].
Joey: [singing] My baby done left me [harmonica]. Left me for a pig [harmonica]. He wasn't very smart [harmonica]. But, man, he must be bi-i-i-ig. [puts both hands up by his head and moves them like they're puppet backup singers] Oo-oo-ooh, yeah. [speaking] Thank you, ladies.
[Becky is making waffles (or trying to) as Danny comes downstairs.]
Danny: Morning.
Becky, Jesse & Joey: Morning.
Becky: Okay, boys, your waffles are ready. [She opens the waffle iron, only to find the batter stuck (top and bottom).] Everybody grab a fork. It's all-you-can-scrape [instead of all-you-can-eat]. [...] [The guys sit down at the table to eat cereal.]
Joey: So Danny, how'd your blind date go last night?
Danny: Oh, not so good. We played the old guess-your-age game and she guessed I was 33. The nerve of that woman.
Jesse: You are 33.
Danny: So? It's common courtesy to knock off four or five years.
Joey: Maybe she thought she did. Danny, come on, you do have a few gray hairs.
Danny: No, I don't. [All three prove it to him by each yanking a strand as he screams "ow!" each time.] Great [takes them]. Just leave 'em here, alright. Might need 'em as plugs for a hair transplant.
Stephanie: Why don't I get a graduation?
Danny: Steph, you will. You're just going from 3rd grade to 4th grade.
Stephanie: Just? It so happens that I'm going from lower elementary into upper elementary. I'll be playing on a completely different playground, with no monkey bars. This is a very big deal. And nobody cares. How rude!
[After Jesse volunteers to help out at Michelle's graduation...]
Aaron: Your uncle's a monkeyhead.
Michelle: No, he's not. [After this goes on for about a while...]
Mrs. Manning: Uncle Monkeyhead's going to volunteer to help us out at our graduation ceremony.
Kids: Yay!
Aaron: Get the monkeyhead! [And all the kids do just that.]
Jesse: No, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Watch the monkey hair!
[At Michelle's graduation...]
Stephanie: So this is a kindergarten graduation. Did I mention that I never got a preschool graduation? I never got a kindergarten one either.
D.J.: Well, the important thing is that you're not bitter.
Mrs. Manning: [entering with Jesse] Welcome to the Meadowcrest preschool graduation. Today's program was put together by Jesse Katsopolis.
Jesse: Thank you [his wife snaps a picture with her camera]. And now let's bring in our proud grads, shall we? [And the Meadowcrest preschool class of 1991 enters, to "Pomp and Circumstance", where the graduates are wearing colored paper for "robes".]
Stephanie: Did I mention I never got a robe (a.k.a. gown) or a flat hat (cap/mortarboard – like the preschoolers got)?
Danny: Over here, Michelle [and she waves, as he snaps a picture with his camera].
Jesse: Don't these kids look great, huh? OK, kids, go get ready (for their upcoming performance, see Trivia). Alright. Welcome, parents and friends. This year, our kids learned about sharing. They learned about respect. More importantly, they learned not to put their mouths in the drinking fountain [as Becky snaps another picture from her camera]. And now, I'd like to show you how our year in preschool have made our grads a little older, a little wiser, and (thanks to me) a lot hipper. [He pulls back the 'curtain'.] Here they are, "Jesse's Little Rippers"! [And indeed, the kids have quickly gone from graduation attire to rock-band attire.] [...]
[After their performance...]
Michelle: And now I present the Class of 1991. [She and her classmates toss their mortarboards in true fashion.]
[In Joey's room...]
Danny: Steph, come in here, please. [She does so.]
Joey: Stephanie Judith Tanner, this is your graduation ceremony!
[Everyone hums the first line of "Pomp and Circumstance" as they put a cap and gown on her.]
Stephanie: It's a dream come true! How did you ever know I wanted this?
Joey: First, we present to you, your graduation trophy.
Stephanie: [finds out that...] It's a bowling trophy. [But not just any bowling trophy. It's her dad's.]
Joey: Yes, that man is proudly bowling his way... [does the bowling motion] into the fourth grade.
Becky: And that's not all [hands her niece a gift box which is opened by simply lifting up the lid]
.
Stephanie: Are these bowling shoes?
Becky: Well, open 'em up and find out.
Stephanie: [does so by lifting up the lid, and voila...] Wow! My first pair of high heels. Thanks, everybody.
Danny: You're welcome, honey. [Suddenly, the celebration's cut short by heavy metal music blasting directly across the hall in D.J. and Stephanie's room. It's their boombox, with D.J. and Kirsten wildly dancing to it.] What the heck is that? [He runs over.] D.J.! Young lady, you're not the only one in this house! [He stops the music and turns off the boombox.] Oh! Kirsten.
[While Danny sings the blues while playing his guitar and eats cake in the kitchen, a fully-dressed D.J. comes downstairs.]
D.J.: Dad, are you going through some kind of crisis? (Shown in the infobox photo.)
Danny: Mini-crisis. [smiles] But I'll be fine. [He puts his guitar down.] Look at you in your cap and gown. I can't believe my little baby is finally graduating.
D.J.: Well, not 'til tomorrow. I'm just practicing my speech [in her hand] with a tassel in my face. Wanna hear it? 'Today as we prepare to say goodbye to Van Atta Junior High, we realize that everything up until now has been preparation for the future. Finally, we're ready to enter high school, and our lives are about to begin.'
Danny: Well, what about the last 14 years? It's like your life hasn't even begun yet.
D.J.: Well, it hasn't. When I get to high school, I'll get to go out on dates, stay up late, backpack across Europe with my boyfriend...
Danny: Wait a minute. We'll fight about that part later. [...] [His other daughters come in...] You know, girls, I may not be 21 anymore, but 33 is feeling pretty good right now. Can life be any better than this?
Michelle: It would be better if I had some chocolate cake.
Trivia[]
- Van Atta Junior High School is named after producer (and later co-executive producer) Don Van Atta
- The episode title is likely a take on the 1967 Academy Award-nominated film The Graduate
- Songs:
- "The Wheels on the Bus" by Michelle (solo, then with her class)
- "Rock and Roll All Nite" by Danny (pumped for his date at a rock concert)
- "Pomp and Circumstance" (at the preschool graduation and also hummed by the family at Stephanie's "ceremony")
- "Twist and Shout" by the preschool graduates (dubbed as "Jesse's Little Rippers")
- "Young Girl" by Danny (after he and Kirsten end their relationship)