The I.Q. Man
Season 4, episode 3
The i.q. man
Air date October 5, 1990
Writer(s) Dennis Rinsler & Marc Warren
Director Joel Zwick
Previous Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor
Next Slumber Party
The I.Q. Man is episode three of season four of Full House. It originally aired on October 5, 1990.

Opening Teaser

Michelle reads a bedtime story to Comet. When she's finished, Danny comes to make sure she's in bed so she can give him a good-night kiss. Instead, it's Comet who does the kissing, leaving Danny to remark, "Michelle, what wet lips you have!" Of course, he busts Michelle, but he also gives her the good-night kiss.


Jesse and Joey have prepared a commercial for a cologne company. The client, Ms. Garland, wants Jesse to play the main role in the commercial. Ms. Garland, who finds Jesse attractive, demands that he wear a lot less than he is willing to wear in the commercial, and when Mr. Malatesta tells Jesse that he has no choice but to do what Ms. Garland says, Jesse and Joey decide to stop working for him, with Joey using a list of McDonald's products in his lecture to Mr. Malatesta (see Quotes).

On career day at D.J.'s school, after Danny is chosen after having to find a replacement for Connie Chung, the family encourages Jesse and Joey to continue to work together in the advertising business, but without Mr. Malatesta. So, with the help of a loan from Danny, who wants to be a silent partner, Jesse and Joey decide to open up their own business, changing the name from Double J Creative Services to Double J&D Creative Services.

Meanwhile, the cure may turn out to be infinitely worse than the disease when Michelle plays nurse for Stephanie, who is confined to bed with a bad cold. Michelle uses creative ways to make Stephanie's remedies, such as taking a piece of fried chicken from a bucket in the fridge and putting it into Comet's water bowl to make "chicken soup", and putting a whole orange into a glass of water to make "orange juice".

But later, when Michelle picks it up, Stephanie turns the tables on her, especially after Michelle uses Stephanie's paper for a tissue after sneezing, leading to the usual "How rude!". Michelle tells her, "You gave me your cold. Take it back." But she tells Michelle, "No can do. Once it's out of my nose, it's out of my hands." When Joey comes home and hears about this, he says that Stephanie will take care of Michelle in the same way that Michelle took care of Stephanie. In fact, Stephanie even turns Michelle's own words against her, "You! Upstairs, into bed! Move it, mister! Move it!", to which Michelle can only reply, "Chill out, dude!"


Connie Chung was co-anchor of the CBS Evening News from 1989 to 1993, alongside Dan Rather. She is married to talk show host Maury Povich.

Danny's "Michelle, what wet lips you have!" is a reference to "Grandma, what big ears you have" from "Little Red Riding Hood".

This is the second episode this season to use the Lorimar Television music in the closing credits.


Mr. Malatesta (to Jesse): Katsopolis, let me explain your options to you. Either you do it, you do it or you do it.
Jesse: What was the second one again?

Joey: (to Mr. Malatesta regarding their departures) This man (Jesse) is not a hamburger, and I am not a side of fries, and you, sir, are a... Chicken McNugget!
Jesse: Joey, are you gonna quit or order a Happy Meal?

DJ (to Danny): Dad, remember Jimmy Chung? The pathological liar?
Danny: Oh, I'm just taking a shot here, but, uh, he couldn't get his Aunt Connie, huh?
Kimmy: He doesn't have an Aunt Connie.
DJ: His name's not even Chung.

Jesse: Hey Joey. Got bad news for JJ Creative Services. The bank turned down our business loan.
Joey: How could they do that?
Jesse: Oh, I don't know. Maybe because we have no experience running our own business, no collateral, no credit rating. Why do you think they turned us down?
Joey: Hey, just because you're cranky and unemployed, don't take it out on me.

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