|The Legend of Ranger Joe|
|Season 5, episode 6|
|Air date||October 22, 1991|
|Previous||The King and I|
Joey feels like his life is going nowhere. He does not want to read a bad review of his latest performance, and he does not have to, because the newspaper's employees are on strike. The KFLX radio station calls and asks Jesse a cartoon trivia question that Jesse does not know the answer to, but Joey answers it correctly, winning tickets to the Donny and Marie Osmond reunion.
Linda, an attractive technician from Hilltop Cable Company, comes over and puts a booster on the cable out back, then comes inside and works on the TV. Now channels such as the Truck and Tractor Pull network are available. Before leaving, Linda agrees to go to the Donny and Marie reunion with Joey. Jesse and Joey then sit down to watch Wake Up, San Francisco. The first guest is local children's TV show legend Ranger Roy, who is Joey's childhood idol. Roy announces that after 30 years of hosting the show, he is retiring, but before he does, a new "ranger" will be hired to keep the show going. Knowing that Joey would love to have that job, Danny schedules Joey for an interview with Roy, so Joey can try to get the job. After the interview, Roy gives Joey the job, and Joey lays a hug on Roy and leaves. Because of the hug, Roy starts hyperventilating. When he catches his breath, he tells Danny that Joey is fired.
At home, Joey ends up reading the bad review that he did not want to read, and receives a call from KFLX saying that he does not get the tickets because his fourth cousin is a janitor at KFLX, and relatives of the employees are disqualified from the contest. Linda comes by and says the cable's out again, and walks out when Joey tells her that he did not receive the tickets to the Donny and Marie reunion. Danny then tells Joey what Roy said after Joey left the station.
Joey, who wants to apologize to Roy, rushes to the station, where he fills in for Roy. Roy is so impressed that he changes his mind and gives Joey the job, and the title of the show is now The Ranger Joe Show.
Meanwhile, D.J. is curious as to why Jesse is obsessed with making sure the twins get cool names when they are born. D.J. calls Jesse's mother, who tells her that Jesse's real name is Hermes, which is the name of the Greek God of swiftness. When Jesse was in kindergarten, he was teased about that name so mercilessly that he begged Irene to start calling him something different, so he adopted the name Jesse, which was the name of Elvis Presley's twin (who died at birth).
Elsewhere, Stephanie bestows her old pair of tap shoes to Michelle. However, Michelle becomes obsessed with learning how to dance to "Tea for Two", and an annoyed Stephanie becomes obsessed with getting rid of the shoes. She puts them in a plastic bag and buries them in the ground hoping that this will cure her of the nightmare, but Comet quickly digs them up, and Michelle thanks Jesse (calling him "Uncle Hermes") for finding them.
"Tea for Two" is a song originally from the 1925 Broadway musical No, No, Nanette. In 1950, a musical film version, named for the song, was released in which Doris Day and Gordon MacRae sing it. A Doris Day album with the same title was released with songs from the movie (in lieu of a soundtrack album). On The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, bandleader Doc Severinsen would have the band ready to play it when Carson told a joke or two during his monologue that fell flat, to which Carson would do a brief tap dance.
When the TV is fixed, a monster truck show can be seen.