|Those Better Not Be the Days|
|Season 3, episode 19|
|Air date||February 23, 1990|
|Next||Honey, I Broke the House|
The episode starts with the sisters preparing for a trip to an amusement park. Michelle tries to open up a bag of potato chips, but her older sisters catch her in the act. Stephanie asks her if she is trying to eat their munchies, and D.J. reminds her that those are to be eaten on the way to the amusement park (as she takes the bag). Michelle responds with, "Aw, nuts!"
Suddenly, Kimmy's mother drives up, and the girls ask for everything else they need for a good time: Danny gives D.J. a clean sweater, and Joey gives Stephanie a camera, extra film, extra batteries, lens wipe, etc. Jesse gives them both a map of the entire park so they can get familiar with every ride and every food booth there. And, of course, what's a trip to the amusement park without..."MONEY!", as Danny gives them that, too. And Jesse gives Michelle a little advice of eating after going on the "throw-up rides" (such as roller coasters), and she replies, "You got it, dude!" Then Becky and Jesse prepare for their picnic and then depart, leaving Joey and Danny to stay home and watch some basketball on TV. Seconds later, the girls come back due to a huge thunderstorm, and then Kimmy herself comes over. D.J. says that it's times like these that she wishes she had a big sister to protect her from a huge rain downpour, and Becky decides that they should have the picnic at her place. All Jesse can say is "Have mercy!", as the 2 of them kiss, eliciting a "WHOO!" from the audience.
Everyone makes good use of a rainy day with separate plans, Stephanie invites Jesse and Becky for a picnic upstairs, D.J. and Kimmy ask Danny to take them to the movies, and Joey and Michelle play "hide-and-(go)-seek". While the second plan doesn't go as planned (no pun intended), the picnic involved Stephanie gobbling up the caviar, and Joey hiding in the wine cellar as part of their game.
Danny, Jesse, and Joey feel that the girls are taking them for granted. No matter what they do, they never receive a "thank you" from the girls. From trips to the amusement park and the ice-skating rink, to the movies and everywhere else in between, the girls assume that they can get whatever they want, whenever they want, and so on. Joey's words put it best that the girls "assume that their wish is our command".
So just before the girls can head off to a newly opened ice-skating rink, the guys decide to teach the girls a much needed lesson and give them a taste of their own medicine by switching roles and letting the girls see how it feels to be the adults for a day, similar to playing "house", but for real and with a twist. But, per the guys, there is a catch: they have to assume all the responsibilities that go with the switch.
For example, in addition to the usual "no fun until rooms are cleaned" rule, while the girls go out to watch the "Top 10 Video Countdown" in the living room and chow down on party food (mostly sweets such as ice cream – or "'ouce' cream" – as Michelle says it), the guys ask the girls to make them some lunch. Soon the girls forget about "the catch" when they say they skipped right to dessert. Joey snaps them back to reality, and lunch is served to the guys. Unfortunately, per the switch, they act like kids when they are really picky about what they want on their sandwiches and what drinks they want and even how they want the ice (cubed or crushed, or carved into little animals per Stephanie). An example of this is when Jesse says that he got grape jelly on his sandwich instead of strawberry jelly – so D.J. makes another one, but all 4 corners still have grape jelly, so she takes a bite out of them (much to the applause of the studio audience). Then Michelle announces that "Milli Vanilli is next. Rock and roll!" (and her dancing also elicits applause from the audience), and her sisters are about to head back to the living room. But when Jesse again complains about his sandwich having chunky peanut butter instead of creamy, the girls decide, "That's it! Lunch is over! Go to your rooms! Right now! March!" As D.J. says, "Talk about your selfish, spoiled brats." All Stephanie has to say is, "How rude!", as the two girls clean up the kitchen.
When it seems that the girls are not catching on as planned, the "grounded" guys envision what could happen in the future if the girls continue to take them for granted, because the guys will be waiting on the girls "hand and foot" for the rest of their lives if they don't put a stop to this soon and fast. Jesse and Danny come down to the basement to talk to Joey, who says that with them "grounded", they're going to be in big trouble. Jesse can only walk over and slap him on the head with a quick "It's a game, you idiot!" Danny wonders how could his plan backfire, as they took the girls for granted like the girls did to them and they never even made the connection.
With the camera zooming in on Danny's face, complete with the usual "dream" glissando, we get a glimpse of said future, including Becky being old and Comet as well, with white fur. "Adult D.J." and "Adult Stephanie" are still living in the house, in the same room, and still using their "kid" attitudes, including "Adult Stephanie"'s "How rude!" (which annoys "Adult D.J." to no end), and "Adult Michelle" coming in asking for "'ouce' cream" (to which everyone corrects her, "It's ice cream!") and saying "Aw, nuts!" when she hears that "Old Joey" ate the last gallon. Even "Adult Kimmy" gets in on the act with her "Hi, Tanners!" as the "old" guys say, "Whoa, baby!", because of her voluptuous figure. All four "adult girls" head off for the mall, with "Adult D.J." getting "Old Danny's" credit cards, "Adult Stephanie" making a list of chores for the "old guys" to do while they are gone, and "Adult Michelle" asking for a ride, with "Old Danny" saying that whichever one of them can make it downstairs first will drive them, with "Adult Michelle" capping it off with a "You got it, dude!" "Old Danny" can only say, "She was so smart when she was 3."
And of course, none of the "old guys" got one "thank you". "Old Jesse" tells "Old Danny", "How could you let your kids get so out of control?" "Old Joey" says not to blame him, as he himself is "the old fat guy who lives in the basement." And when "Old Jesse" says that their lives are pathetic, "Old Danny" and "Old Joey" say that it's his hair that is pathetic, and they start playing a game of "catch" with it and are able to successfully throw it in the toy chest and close it up, and "Old Jesse" can only demand his hair back as the dream ends.
Coming out of the dream and back to reality, Danny says, "And we all lived miserably ever after." Jesse thinks the worst part about the future they imagined is that he wore a wig instead of having real hair. Joey says that one lesson they could learn from this is that they could start being nicer to Kimmy.
Later, the girls come down and lecture the guys, saying that they try and make them a nice lunch, and what do they get in return? Not one "thank you". But, the guys finally help the girls catch on to the lesson that they were trying to teach them. Jesse asks how they would feel not to get a "thank you", and Stephanie sums it up in one word: "Crummy." The guys add how crummier the girls would have felt to wash their sweaters, rush out to buy their film, share their caviar picnic, or even drop everything to take them to the movies, amusement parks, ice-skating rinks and everything else in-between. With that in mind, the girls step aside and then ask each other if they gave a "thank you" for everything the guys did for them today, and they realize that they did not. D.J. was right on point: the "game" was indeed to teach them a lesson and they realize they (badly) needed one, Stephanie adding that they owe them a couple thousand "thank you"'s.
Walking back towards the guys, D.J. says (as the inspirational music plays) that they really blew it today. She points out that they do so much for them, and they are so wonderful and sometimes they expect the guys to be wonderful; so much so, that they forget how much they appreciate how wonderful the guys are. What they are trying to say is that the guys are truly wonderful. All Stephanie wants to add is those two words that they have not said this entire episode until now: "Thank you." She does it in so many ways ("Thank you", "Thanks", "Hey pal, good going!", Way to go, chum!", "¡Muchas gracias, amigo!", etc.) that D.J. asks her to just plain stop and hug all three of them, and that they do (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
- Jayne Modean as Adult Michelle, who later married Dave Coulier
- Julia Montgomery as Adult Stephanie, known for playing Betty Childs in the Revenge of the Nerds movies
- Melanie Vincz as Adult D.J.
- Rhonda Shear as Adult Kimmy, known for hosting the USA Network's Friday installment of Up All Night (a late-night movie program) for much of the 1990s
Jesse: [to Michelle] Eat your corn dog, your taco and your ice cream after you go on the throw-up rides.
Michelle: [gives him a thumbs-up] You got it, dude.
[Michelle is prepared to go ice-skating with D.J. and Stephanie.]
Michelle: I'm ready to go "ouce"-skating.
D.J.: Forget it, we're not going "ouce"-skating.
Michelle: Make up your minds! [She angrily throws off her winter cap and puts her hands on her hips.]
[The girls prepare to watch the "Top 10 Video Countdown", and bring some party food into the living room.]
Michelle: Party time!
D.J.: We've got the ice cream.
Stephanie: Let's watch the "Top 10 Video Countdown".
Kimmy: Alright, I love being grounded here.
Michelle: I want my "ouce" cream.
D.J.: You want your ice cream.
Michelle: That's what I said. Don't you listen?
Stephanie: OK, on your mark, get set, pig out!
The episode title is likely a take on "Those Were the Days", the theme song to the 1970s show All in the Family.
Danny saying, "And we all lived miserably ever after", is a take on the fairy tale ending: "And they all lived happily ever after".