|To Joey, With Love|
|Season 8, episode 5|
|Air date||October 25, 1994|
|Writer(s)||Jamie Tatham & Chuck Tatham|
|Previous||I've Got a Secret|
|Next||You Pet It, You Bought It|
Mrs. Carruthers drops by and tells Joey that because of the flu, which is spreading around, a substitute teacher is needed for Michelle's class at school, so Joey volunteers to do it, since it gives him an opportunity to use the teaching license that he has been regularly renewing. Michelle thinks it is going to be fun to have Joey as the substitute, though he reminds her that he's to be addressed as "Mr. Gladstone".
The class gets out of control, including chanting "Porky" (as in Porky Pig, which they ask Joey to do). Joey says the next person who talks or makes a noise will be sent to the principal's office. That next person happens to be Michelle, who asks Joey to "lighten up", eliciting gasps from her classmates. Michelle then gets upset with him on her way to the principal's office, saying "Thanks a lot, Mr. Gladstone. I thought you were my friend" (which elicits groans from the studio audience). Then she thinks of a way to get back at Joey for scolding her in front of the class.
Later, Michelle gets the class to agree to give Joey the silent treatment. Joey tricks the class into talking to him again, and Michelle apologizes and admits to Joey that he's so funny that she had forgotten that sometimes, he has to be serious.
When they both get home, they explain to Danny what happened, and Danny sends Michelle upstairs to her room. Before she leaves, she remarks, "You give a guy with a tie and a book with all the answers in the back, and he forgets who his friends are," not realizing that once Joey became the teacher, he had the authority that went with it, and he had to balance fun and seriousness (the remark itself was enough to elicit groans from the audience).
Meanwhile, Jesse reluctantly agrees to let Danny audition as a guitarist for his new band, Hot Daddy and the Monkey Puppets, but what Jesse does not realize is that this longtime king of spic and span also knows how to rock 'n roll!
Danny does really well at the audition, but Jesse hires a guitarist nicknamed Viper, and D.J. becomes attracted to Viper. Danny is not disappointed that he was not hired, and Jesse later tells Danny that, had Viper not auditioned, the spot would have been his.
Jesse: Hey, everybody. My search for a new lead guitarist is about to end. Check out this ad I put in the paper. [reads ad] ‘Wanted for band – one down dude with an ax’.
Danny: ‘Down dude with an ax’? Jess, you’d better be careful. You could wind up with a depressed lumberjack. [chuckles, but stops when Jesse and Becky give him looks] I’ll just arrange my shrimp balls over here.
Jesse: [to Becky] Honey, this new band has got to be 10 times hotter than the Rippers. Now I got to find a guy that lives for the music, you know? A guy with real rock ‘n’ roll in his blood.
Danny: [turns back to Jesse] Jess, you know, I… I… I… play guitar.
Jesse: Well, I’ll, I’ll keep that in mind for the next family hootenanny. No, Danny. I need someone with band experience.
Danny: I have band experience. In high school, I was with a group called “Four Guys named Danny”. [sees their puzzled looks] The name was a coincidence, but we just thought we’d run with it. Jess, I am one down dude with an ax, I am.
Becky: More like a lanky loner with a ladle.
Danny: I’m serious. The least you can do is let me audition.
Jesse: No. The least I could do is ignore you completely.
Danny: This should be interesting – my daughter being taught by a man who has every Scooby-Doo on tape.
Joey: Hey, I’m serious. Teaching is a huge responsibility. Suddenly, I feel useful, noble, a productive member of society. [stands up as Mrs. Carruthers watches, smiling] It’s like the guy who looked at a lollipop and said, ‘I could put a hunk of Tootsie Roll inside this thing’. [He leaves the living room]
Mrs. Carruthers: There’s nothing more inspiring than watching that man walk out of a room.
Danny owns a Gibson Les Paul electric guitar.