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Wrong-Way Tanner
Season 7, episode 3
Screen-shot-2013-02-27-at-2.08.18-AM
Air date September 28, 1993
Writer(s) Jamie Tatham & Chuck Tatham
Director John Tracy
Previous The Apartment
Next Tough Love

Wrong-Way Tanner is episode three in season seven of Full House. It originally aired on September 28, 1993.

Opening Teaser[]

In the living room, Joey, Jesse, Nicky, and Alex are rocking out to "Louie, Louie", with Joey on harmonica, Jesse on acoustic guitar, and the twins playing toy electric guitars.

Synopsis[]

Like Stephanie and D.J. once did, Michelle becomes a member of a soccer team, and now Joey is the head coach. Danny and Jesse are also excited about it.

The coming weekend, in her first game, Michelle kicks the ball the wrong way and scores the winning goal for the opposing team, not realizing she kicked the ball towards her own goalie, Derek, despite the guys all telling her to go the other way. That has her wanting to leave the team because she feels like she can no longer face her teammates (including Aaron), who chew her out about costing them a game and walk away, leaving her in tears and her head hung low; so much so, she even mentions Jesse quitting baseball when he was a kid. However, he also mentioned that he hated baseball.

Joey exclaims to Jesse and Danny that if they would have let him do his job as the coach and not put so much pressure on Michelle and made her so nervous, Michelle would have felt more comfortable in the game, and might have been a little less prone to mistakes.

As this is going on, Stephanie is videotaping a day in the life of the Tanners as a project for school. The original title actually was "A Day in the Life of the Tanners", but it was eventually changed to "You Can't Use That", as that is what every one of her subjects says to her when she tapes them—or rather, tries to tape them. Among the events she videotapes are: Joey talking to the soccer team in the living room, D.J. wearing a necklace that has become stuck to Steve Hale's sweater, Becky singing the Cops theme song to Nicky and Alex, Jesse giving his hair a pep talk, Comet accidentally knocking Stephanie down, Danny kicking a soccer ball into Kimmy's new bug zapper, and Michelle scoring the goal for the opposing team.

Later, in the kitchen, the guys argue over whose fault it really is. Each one of them says that it is their own fault, but Joey eventually decides that it is the combined fault of all of them. Then Michelle comes downstairs faking that her leg is broken, saying that she cannot play soccer again. She does not want to stay on the team because she is embarrassed. The guys try to convince her to stay with the team. Her coach reminds her that everyone gets embarrassed once in awhile. They remind her that one embarrassment should not bring her down. She says no one in the universe is more embarrassed than her.

To prove her wrong, Stephanie brings out her "educational and informative" videotape project for her and the family to see, including the final event that Michelle felt let down by and still does when she sees it for herself. Suddenly, she perks up and remarks that at least she did not lose her shoe, and Joey tells her the best thing she can do when embarrassed is laugh at herself, which she does. Jesse suggests she just laugh along with everyone else if history repeats itself at the next game. Danny thinks the videotape would be funnier if he did not owe Kimmy $90 for the bug zapper. D.J. even apologizes for Steve's sweater, but Steve has no problem with it, as he says his mom has decided to use the sleeves for leg warmers. In the end, Jesse realizes that Michelle finally gets the knack, and decides to chase Stephanie for the tape again, for real, and he does so.

The next game is a rematch, and Michelle takes Joey's advice about laughing at herself when she feels embarrassed by jokingly running the wrong way for the start of the game while her teammates shout that the field is the other way. In any event, her teammates join her, though they're still skeptical about "Wrong-Way Tanner" (hence the episode's name).

Quotes[]

[The Thunderbirds are having a team meeting in the living room, as Coach Joey uses the easel for his diagrams.]
Joey: OK, Thunderbirds. What are the positions for a corner kick. [Michelle raises her hand.] Yes, Michelle?
Michelle: Are we the hugs or the kisses (see Trivia)?
Joey: "Hugs or the kisses". Oh, you mean the X's or the O's. No, Michelle. In soccer, we use these letters to denote abstract player deployment. What I'm saying to all of you is [turns and sees the team looking confused]... we're the... kisses.


[D.J. and Steve walk downstairs with her chain stuck to his sweater.]
Michelle: How did you guys get stuck together?
Steve: Well, we were upstairs studying, and...
Aaron: Studying?! Not! They were kissing! [sing-song voice] Kissy-face! Kissy-face!
Team and Joey: [in the same style] Kissy-face! Kissy-face!
D.J.: [over the repeated chant] Will you kids stop being so immature?!
Joey: [now by himself] Kissy-face! Kissy-face...uh, there's no room for that kind of immature behavior on this team.
Stephanie: My class is going to love this.
D.J.: Your class? Steph, you can't use that!
Stephanie: I have to. It's too goofy not to share with the world.
D.J.: Steph, give me that. [She starts chasing her former roommate, pulling thread out of Steve's sweater in the process.]
Steve: D.J.! D.J.!


Joey: I know you were embarrassed, but everybody gets embarrassed now and again.
Michelle: Not like I was today – the most embarrassed person in the whole wide universe... ever... times ten.


[As the family watches Stephanie's tape, the following was not captured by the studio cameras (but was most likely continued above).]
D.J.: [chasing her sister, while the soccer team is entangled and tied up in Steve's sweater] Stephanie, there is no way! Stephanie! Stephanie! Give me that tape. Come on, I'm really serious!
Steve: D.J., I'm losing sleeve here!
D.J.: I mean it! You cannot use that! Stephanie! [wagging her finger as she appears in front of the camcorder] Give it to me! Give it to me! Give it to me!

Trivia[]

  • Danny saying "I'm not a doctor, and I don't play one on TV" is an allusion to the line "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV" from a series of 1980s Vicks Formula 44 commercials.[1] It was said by two different actors who played doctors on soap operas. The ads were written that way because they had to use a disclaimer to say that it was an actor and not an actual doctor.
  • Michelle's "hugs and kisses" remark about the O's and X's refers to a way girls sometimes sign love letters.

References[]

Full House Episodes
Season 1
Our Very First ShowOur Very First NightThe First Day of SchoolThe Return of GrandmaSea CruiseDaddy's HomeKnock Yourself OutJesse's GirlThe Miracle of ThanksgivingJoey's PlaceThe Big Three-OOur Very First PromoSisterly LoveHalf a Love StoryA Pox in Our HouseBut Seriously, FolksDanny's Very First DateJust One of the GuysThe Seven-Month Itch (Part 1)The Seven-Month Itch (Part 2)Mad MoneyD.J. Tanner's Day Off
Season 2
Cutting It CloseTanner vs. GibblerIt's Not My JobD.J.'s Very First HorseJingle HellBeach Boy BingoJoey Gets ToughTriple DateOur Very First Christmas ShowMiddle Age CrazyA Little RomanceFogged InWorking MothersLittle Shop of SweatersPal JoeyBaby LoveEl Problema Grande de D.J.Goodbye Mr. BearBlast From the PastI'm There for You, BabeLuck Be a Lady (Part 1)Luck Be a Lady (Part 2)
Season 3
Tanner's IslandBack to School BluesBreaking Up is Hard to Do (in 22 Minutes)Nerd for a DayGranny TannyStar SearchAnd They Call It Puppy LoveDivorce CourtDr. Dare Rides AgainThe Greatest Birthday on EarthAftershocksJoey & Stacey and... Oh, Yeah, JesseNo More Mr. Dumb GuyMisadventures in BabysittingLust in the DustBye, Bye Birdie13 CandlesMr. EggheadThose Better Not Be the DaysHoney, I Broke the HouseJust Say No WayThree Men and Another BabyFraternity ReunionOur First Telethon
Season 4
Greek WeekCrimes and Michelle's DemeanorThe I.Q. ManSlumber PartyGood News, Bad NewsA Pinch for a PinchViva Las JoeyShape UpOne Last KissTerror in Tanner TownSecret AdmirerDanny in ChargeHappy New Year BabyWorking GirlOld Brown EyesStephanie Gets FramedA Fish Called MartinThe Wedding (Part 1)The Wedding (Part 2)Fuller House (episode)The Hole-in-the-Wall GangStephanie Plays the FieldJoey Goes HollywoodGirls Just Wanna Have FunThe GraduatesRock the Cradle
Season 5
Double TroubleMatchmaker MichelleTake My Sister, PleaseOh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Girl Gone?The King and IThe Legend of Ranger JoeThe Legend of Ranger JoeThe VolunteerGotta DanceHappy Birthday, Babies (Part 1)Happy Birthday, Babies (Part 2)Nicky and/or AlexanderCrushedSpellboundToo Much Monkey BusinessThe Devil Made Me Do ItDriving Miss D.J.Yours, Mine and OursThe Trouble with DannyFive's a CrowdGirls Will Be BoysCaptain Video (Part 1)Captain Video (Part 2)
Season 6
Come Fly With MeThe Long GoodbyeRoad to TokyoRadio DaysLovers and Other TannersEducating JesseTrouble in Twin TownThe Play's the ThingNice Guys Finish FirstI'm Not D.J.Designing MothersA Very Tanner ChristmasThe Dating GameBirthday BluesBe True to Your PreschoolThe Heartbreak KidSilence is Not GoldenPlease Don't Touch the DinosaurSubterranean Graduation BluesGrand Gift AutoRoom for One MoreProm NightThe House Meets the Mouse (Part 1)The House Meets the Mouse (Part 2)
Season 7
It Was a Dark and Stormy NightThe ApartmentWrong-Way TannerTough LoveFast FriendsSmash Club: The Next GenerationHigh AnxietyAnother Opening, Another No ShowThe Day of the RhinoThe Prying GameThe Bicycle ThiefSupport Your Local ParentsThe Perfect CoupleIs It True About Stephanie?The TestJoey's Funny ValentineThe Last DanceKissing CousinsLove on the RocksMichelle a la CarteBe Your Own Best FriendA Date with FateToo Little Richard Too LateA House Divided
Season 8
Comet's Excellent AdventureBreaking AwayMaking Out is Hard to DoI've Got a SecretTo Joey, With LoveYou Pet It, You Bought ItOn the Road AgainClaire and Present DangerStephanie's Wild RideUnder the InfluenceArrest Ye Merry GentlemenD.J.'s ChoiceThe ProducerSuper Bowl Fun DayMy Left and Right FootAir JesseDateless in San FranciscoWe Got the BeatTaking the PlungeUp on the RoofLeap of FaithAll Stood UpMichelle Rides Again (Part 1)Michelle Rides Again (Part 2)
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